Are you proud of me now? I get only A's and B's, I don't get in trouble, I'm a great kid. But I cry myself to sleep and sometimes wish I weren't alive. But that's okay as long as you're proud. You see my grades and you see my friends but you don't see the mask I wear to please everyone. You give me attitude amd I got that from you so you yell at me a lot, "Oh no don't cry, it's not the end of the world" but it could be the end of mine. Now I don't cry in front of you, I need you to be proud please don't hate me. Are you proud of me now? I look happy so yoh don't worry, I look happy so you're proud. Please don't yell, I'm trying my best please be proud of me. I want to die but I'm still alive. Are you proud of me?

I've been feeling so alone
And so lost
As if I was trapped in the dark forest of my mind
Not knowing which way is out
And which way is into further isolation
And than I walked
And walked
With music playing in my ears
Alone
But I wasn't lonely
I was free
And I wished that I could just walk forever
Not away from anything
Not to anything
Just walking
forever

Don't cry,
Don't eat,
Don't lie,
Don't die,
Be pretty,
Be natural,
Be social,
Be quiet,
Be yourself...




*But Not Like That.

Long long, ere long ago
Adam was adolescent
Eve was effervescent
Both were glad in body clad    
  
Adam and Eve exposed each
The duo explored to match
Adam was adulating to catch
Eve was electrifying to ******
  
Pancreatic hunger in one way
Pubertal love on way any way
Cupid apple drooped in sway
He grappled apple-gel of angel

Couple cuddled and meddled
Kindled, spindled and fondled
Fire of passion ceded seeds of love
Shy free, sky free, spy free, scot free
Capsule of calories captured
Rupture turned into rapture

Head to head dual bite at sight
Headed to fuel the duel of luring love    
Adam was adamant on that eve
Eve spelled eventful gospel of life
Only lonely lovely pair espoused  
Exploded mirth of birth on earth

I sit here
Crushed by loneliness
Wishing for conversation
Something
Because I seem to be
The only person
Who doesn't have something
To do on this
Cold Sunday afternoon
It is paradoxical
'Cause when I have
A person to talk to
I often wish for them to stop
I am not content either way
I want to walk away
From everything
But I have responsibilities
And it is too cold
So I will just sit here
and be lonely

You tell me it's okay
You're fine
But you are lying
It hurts when no one notices
I know
I always thought
I was good at seeing when others were hurting
It was one thing I could do
Be a good friend
But now I know
I am not even that
I am so sorry
I wish I could take your pain
And keep it for myself
Bear the burden you don't deserve
Shelter you both from the world
Stop you from hurting
I can't
So it turns out
I'm just a ****** person