A pine box in a grave,
the walls of wood will slowly decay,
the worms will enter
and feast on your skin
till you are no longer recognizable,
not even to your own kin.
Bones caked with dirt and tears.
The walls of wood will crack and bend
till the dirt fills the void within,
fills the spaces between your ribs
and fingers
and your toes,
covering all of your bones
in that sad lonely hole.
Years pass,
and the earth grinds your bones to a dust,
till you are no longer a body,
just a part of the earth's crust.

I've got a rope around my neck
And a rock around my ankles
So if the rope breaks,
It won't be a second chance
Or a gift from a God.
I will either choke
Or I will drown.
A lack of air
Will introduce me to my maker.
But if I'm being honest
I really don't care
If there's a god,
Or if I'm alone.
Because in the end...
My skin and flesh will peel,
Off of my bones.

I've got this weight in my stomach
that is tearing my insides.
I can feel the lining in my gut
beginning to thin,
this destruction of my insides
has yet to begin.
Collapse my lungs, and stop my heart.
Drain all of my blood, for starts.
I want to gouge out my eyes,
pull out my teeth
and sever my tongue.
I want mutilation,
I want the pain.
I want the ugliness,
I want people to be afraid.
I'm so broken, I'm so flawed.
I have no direction and no more plots.
I've lost my boundaries and connections,
I'll stumble around till my knees give out.
I'll crawl until my skin falls away.
I'll scream until my vocal cords tear.
I'll hate until my brain
is past the point of repair.
This was my choice,
I gave it my blessing.
I told myself,
this would stop myself from stressing.
Finally I won't have to hide
how I see myself,
everyone can see how I picture myself.
A ****** broken corpse, laying in the street. I'm useless, just a big hunk of meat.

Two hands
I have two hands
I’ve only ever had two hands
They are my two hands
They are not a good two hands
They like to choke
They like to squeeze
They like to try and **** me
I can’t replace them
And I can’t have my safety
As long as my two hands
Can find me.

I died today
Not in a violent way.
I gave up, I decided it was time to quit
“Oh man, I’m just tired of this *******.”
Moving forward has become a chore
Everything I once enjoyed is now just a bore.
I’ll lay in my bed from morning till night.
Staring at the ceiling with no lights.
Memorizing the cracks and the blemishes
The unevenness of the paint and plaster
A monochrome filter over what once was beautiful.
I’ve lost my talents and now I’m completely unuseable.
I see no more hope, I see no redemption
I am ready to choke, until my end in damnation.

I heard it, the moment that your heart fell from your chest.
It sounded like glass shattering
I can't lie, the sound, it was startling.
Ear piercing notes in a disheveled melody.
Alone, you were, no company
Except for the bugs in the dirt.
I dug my hands into the pieces
As they cut into my palms and finger tips.
I lifted my ****** hands to my lips,
Infused with clear fibers that once resided in your chest.
"Is this yours? Did you lose this?"

Does time heal a broken heart?
Because right now I’m being pulled apart.
Being squished by the sand
In my hourglass
How long will this pain last?
Because it’s been two years
And I am still hurting
You left like it was nothing
Like I was terminally ill

I’m still here
I’m still alive
And I resent you
I hate you
I wish I never have met you
I’m tired of snakes
I’m tired of rats

You were a wolf in sheep's clothing
Pretending to love
But your intentions were vile
And to be honest
I’m ******* done
I’m tired of being me
I’m tired of being nice
I’m tired of getting close to people
Who are as cold as ice.

You taught me about love
You taught me how to see color
You taught me how to explore
You taught me how to smile
You taught me about deception
You taught me about abuse
You taught me about trust
You taught me about hatred
You taught me how it feels to be forgotten
You taught me how it feels to be alone
You taught me how it feels to be heartless
You taught me how it feels to be stepped on
You taught me how it feels to be used
You taught me how it feels to be heartbroken
You taught me what a casket felt like
You taught me about myself
You taught me how much I could hate
You taught me how much I could hate
You taught me how much I could hate
I hope if I taught you anything
It’s that love is real
But so is pain
You ruined my life
You’ll never see me again

I took a break
I took a moment to breath
And clean my hands of the ink
That I've use to write the words on a sheet
I sat outside
Instead of my room
Felt the sun pass through the leaves
And warm up my cheeks
I heard the birds
It wasn't terrible
But I am quite fond of the walls
The walls in my room
They make the world feel smaller
More manageable
Makes life easier to take
When I can shut the door
Pull the blinds shut
Turn off the lights and sit in silence
With a pen in my hand
A paper on my desk
And black ink on my fingertips.