I am Bear Lady
and you are Toucan Man —
Fur and feathered backs
against a striped tent.
Cut-off like tickets,
crowds melting Dali-like
in the distance
from crystalline eyes,
frozen in time…

Wings graze skin and
fur can’t compete.
The electricity of
our eccentricity
is freakish,
yet with every touch,
I feel less like a freak.
My history
of hoop jumping
tightrope walking,
and captivity
dissolve transparently
as I search deep,
                deep,
            deep,
into supernova eyes —
they outshine
this circus life,
this love for applause,
the performance inside.

As I gaze into
frozen pools,
the broken chords
of carny music
da da da-da-da-da drown.
The morning quiet,
muddled coffee grinds
are sensitive and silent,
chilling me to the soul.
Earth, a peripheral,
to pupils that absorb
mine full-force,
until I can’t see
this galaxy anymore,
save green starbursts,
my light source.

I prefer the strays —
shuffled in homes of
nails and wood.
Their bare soles agile
atop scaling stacks
of stucco boxes.
Cooking rice and plantains.
Sipping life from corners
of plastic bags.

I've grown into a bonsai avatar tree —
trimmed and transplanted,
sitting potted aside a window.

Waiting until I'm ready.

OK.

I'm finally, I think I might be...

I'm not sure, but

I  am 99% positive

that I want the...

universe to shine upon me.
For rain ruining my day
to just water me.
To shed the seeds
that sowed me.

And branch accordingly.

Cash pounding in 3/4 on mahogany.

June: lets go to Jamaica.  

We all swallow our tongues and chew our food.

There will be so many
I disappoint that I,
content,
do not heed.
My mother —
Who cooks when I am not hungry.
My sister —
who frowns at my blemishes
and plucks my unibrow ferociously.
The poet slash
musician slash
magician
who calls me to ****
when his calendar is empty.
I bailed on them,
like the similes that no longer serve me,
like the poems I tossed as therapy —
You know —
The ones spun from circular conversations —
gut feelings supplemented by text messages
when you're half paying attention,
half wishing the space between buzzes would lengthen.

There will be so many irked that I,
content,
remain unresponsive.
They wish my mouth wide open,
drooling,
trained to heed queries,
They pull my time like teeth,
Blinded by the sting,
I can’t see the point
of fearing their disappointment.
Because there will be so many I disappoint,
but I, at peace.

Eddie takes care of me.

Our heads laid neath
street lights, a wild sky,
turned wrong, then right
across the bend
we haven't seen —
just experienced.

Forgotten flock
with no stake,
who solopsize only
while hugging and kissing.
Getting old.
Craving more.

The harmony
of shucked
clothes guising
vulnerabilities
to someone
who will listen.

With peeled eyes,
and closed lips,
his hands ride my hips,
soft flesh meets tough skin,
collapsing in.

We look at the other.
Please the other.
Stroke the other
with cupped hands,
dead before bloom,
fallen,
uprooted.

He says he is home now.

That we should get snacks together.

But I already ate a salmon filet.

I am not hungry.

I ate too fast.
I have a gut.
There is nothing left.

So I turn my phone on mute.

Tempted, but astute
that I will ravish you
again, and,
feel more empty than
the wine bottle
next to this pen.