I'm nervous to love you.
I know what its like to be left alone when my aching heart said too much.

I'm nervous to love you.
My father said I broke everything I touched.
Do you understand why I don't want to hold your heart?

I'm nervous to love you.
The last guy I loved left everything we had hanging on a ceiling.
He turned his red flannel into black suits and ties.

I'm nervous to love you.
I'm already a wreck.
I don't know if you will be able to see past that.

I'm nervous to love you.
I'm scared to rush into this.
I already feel so much.
I don't want to say goodbye to another person.
I'm scared you'll leave once you see the depths of my heart.

What do you do when you're in love with someone who doesn't understand why you scream yourself awake every night?

John.
Its been awhile.
But its your birthday.
I know I won't be able to write this without crying
but I'll try.
Its been a long year and a half without you.
I heard our song today and I knew that God must've been punishing me for not helping you.
I am so sorry.
I am sorry that I am the reason you are not here anymore.
I'm sorry I pushed you away instead of helping you when you needed me the most.
I am so sorry that I can't help but think that I might as well have carved your name into that stone.
I'm sorry that I got to celebrate my birthday while yours is only celebrated through those who mourn you.
I am sorry that I allowed you to get close to me when I know I am a hurricane that feels no remorse when destroying peoples' homes and forcing them to find a new one.
I'm so sorry I didn't realize my heart beats for you until yours stopped beating.
I miss you terribly.
I hope you rest in peace.
I'll be living in guilt.

I would know you anywhere.

If only everyone could appreciate all of our heroes

The ones who left home to protect home, not just the ones who fight here in our homeland in our streets

Love is protection and protection bitter sweet