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 Jun 2016
Graff1980
I knew a woman who used be
A beautiful intense kind of mystery
Deep and dark as a star less sky
Who found friends so easily enthralled
By her surgical and creative madness
Red rivers running still, filled with sadness
With the deepest affection I embraced her
Like a little sister

When she disappeared
I feared pain had overrun
The wonder and deliberate darkness
I had drawn so much inspiration from
Keeping my own company
I wept for the loss of a dear friend

So when she came back in
Beautiful Emily transformed  
Into radiant Darrin
Glowing from the growing
The seedling of his truest self
I wept gently, happy to see
How close to happy he could be
Daring to pursue the truth
In spite of those who insisted
He  persist in pursuing a lie
I love how he found the truth inside
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
They say to be heroes
To be great
We have to become killers
Harbingers of hate
Bullets and bomb bringers
No one line zingers
But ****** rage
Howling sorrows
Creators of destruction
Anguish in the name of
Our love of a nation
Patriotism facing
One way while war
Wages in another direction
Violence there for our inspection

A heroic deed indeed
Would be better defined
As the art of ending such wars
Standing arms intertwined
To stop the hate
To end the wars
To obstruct the tanks
The drones
And the soldiers
Who march on thumping
Backs heavy with their packs
Souls stained with their warrior way
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
I took myself to the dark places
Cold clusters of pulsing arteries
Veins running red and ready to bleed
Blade sharpened thin and ready to slice skin
Every time tremors of this pain filled reality plagued me
I took to these deathly fantasies
That I imagined and tried to die
But the razors were dull and rusty
And I never had the strength to
Cut through the physical pain
The pills did not ****
Only damaged my teeth and kidneys
The only peace that came was when I slept
Clenched tightly under cover and in between dreams
When only nothingness reigned
Little blackouts like small deaths comforted me
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
I gathered the ladders
One after another I strung them together
Planted their base
Like a bed of wooden flowers
And set them up towards the heavens
Till the top pierced
The white billowy clouds
And when I got to the top
The clouds didn’t stop
They went on like
A white winter wasteland
But I never found the place
Where the human race
Settles after they die
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
She is a walking heartbreaker
In pictures, words, and lust
Tears form flowing outwards
Falling faster and faster
I sit foggy eyed and find I must
Distract and extract myself
From her painful poetic presence
From her deep dark hungry essence
Sultry and sulking for another lover
She breaks me so quickly and easily
Once a regular communicator
Now I barely register
Perhaps it is better for her
And a lesson for me to lessen
People’s ability to infiltrate my heart
For my sanity I unfollow and unfriend
But occasionally go back there again
Like biting my tongue to see
If it still hurts me and if I will bleed
I find that she still holds to strong of a grip
Over my heart and mind
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
Whether you will
Or whether you won’t
My withering flesh will
Be loving you still
Even in the evening
When only impressions
Of past hearts obsession
Remain
I will still feel the will
To love the faded memory of
You
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
To hell with the heartache
I'm tired and I'm angry
of seeing my better angels
saddle up and leave me.

I'd drown in a river
but sorrow is an ocean,
of constantly changing tides
and sickening emotions.

The candle is burnt out
but only partially melted
just left white stuff dripping,
while the wic was decimated.
I'm a hollow man and I hate it,
statuesque figure made of wax,
while my jaded colors are faded.
Left me standing solid with the facts,
cause the sculptor never changed them.

So, my never was lover
just left me to simmer
to sink in this pain,
cause I'm not a swimmer,
and I'll die with her name
scarred to my heart
like a nuclear blast
that left a black silhouette
of a stranger’s last breath.

Of course, I could keep on going
see my stanzas keep growing
baring my soul now
yours for the showing,
But the stages are all broken
the players have past
the poetry is gone,
cause true love never lasts,
thus, I must bow out,
and say a sad final farewell.
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
She is mercury
As beautiful
As the planet
And as poisonous
As that silver
Liquid
That we tell
The temperature with
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
Tonight there is no light
My soul is gun metal black
Itchy and rusty
Bullet bite rage
Furious haze
Of righteous indignation

Tension touches the trigger
If you figure
One word will make me burst
One syllable from those
Who hurt me worse
All that degradation

Facing myself in the mirror
I stare in fear
Knowing that though they
Incur my rage
It is myself I truly hate
For never being good enough
To keep those I love
Near

I watch them all disappear
Some die, some walk away
And somewhere never really there
No matter what they say
I am betrayed
But not by them
By the ****** mess that beats within
Dragging me out of my shell
To push me back in again

So, I take all this anger and pain
Channel it to the positive
Exercise and writing
How exciting and frightening
Knowing I will always love again
Despite how I vow to abstain
I am always courting
That hopeful pain
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
The cloud’s sweat mists
Foggy moon breaking the night
Stars are like evening sprinkles
And in the sweltering heat
The factory repeats
Its strange and haunting beats

The dusty machines spit hot air
Metal grinds metal, the forklifts beeps
The sound barely startles me
Out of my space daydreams
My oddly color ear buds
Making me dull of hearing

A guy speaks at me seeking humanity
Lonely, widower he needs some connection
Fourteen year and tumors will see
His dog finally has to go to sleep

He says he needs another puppy
Offers up skewed observations
About our American nation
I am disturbed but I can see
His heart is in the right place
As he places his thoughts before me

Loves his music but I can’t help but worry
That when I leave he will cease to be
Becoming merely a memory
Echoing ghostly
Cause he is so lonely
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
The broken hearted
bare the shame
of seeing their loves
forget their name,

Lovers who do not
see or share their pain.

Gentle floating
flower petals
fall, withering.

Birds go on chirping.

The forgotten go on hurting.

Who can blame
those who do not call again?
Cause the lonely hearted
would not even call themselves.
 Jun 2016
Graff1980
The roaring wave rushes forth
Taking mere inches and feet
But wanting oh so much more
Collapsing on the beach
Then falling back in retreat
In defeat till the cycle repeats
The wave’s valiant struggle
---------------------------------------

I wish I had some of that old fury
That inspired me to be a better me
Pushing me physically and mentally
But in the calming
I have lost the favorite parts of myself
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