.


Pack it up ,



      yesterday you were seventeen . . .



now you're an empty sixity-eight . .



. . . and a little late to be running behind . . .



Highways , mountains , rivers and all those stars . . .


     all those lonely stars


I'll be leaving sometime after the midnight's bell


the dew will tell where I go



The future is my next step


my past recorded in wet grass


keep moving on


everyone needs a reason to believe


I'm running on empty


I'm running out of time


Running out of love


and now I am running some more


Let them know you've forgotten about your losses


And all your gains were washed away in rain




When you have no roots you run



chasing the last sunset of hollow yellows , grays and pinks ,


before the evening chill sets in


"What never was , will be no more ."

I follow the fault lines
of your soul
Cracked , shaken , go ahead you are stirred
No need for apologies unless you are willing to listen to mine
I can patch your frame but I will never be able to repair the brain
It has been under too much strain
Still we can sit on our hands
Contemplating all the edges of nonsense
Laugh at all the pain we drag around in the barges of our past
Let us embrace around the  corners that cut sharper than suicide
Kintsugi my life with golden voice
As I hold your broken milk
of dispair
Put your fingers into the gaps and tears
Plug the dikes of my failures as you fight my fire with your waters . I don't care but I do as long as you do but don't care . Breathe the breath of my exhaust as I lick your lips of regret . It seems we are beyond repair .

Agreed, that love is attraction
    - though not only surface sensual,
      as you maintain,
      not only toward the external -
But that sweet involuntary pull is
      also inward for expansion;
      for interior sifting
      and resolution.
Love is primarily attraction to
      unexplored depths
      of the self.




- fr

how to ride a bike
(that was dad's department)
how to double knot my shoe laces
how to make my bed
how to play scrabble
how to keep a house clean
how to cook
how to bake
how to drive
(still dad's department)

how to exist without caring
about others' opinions
how to not burden everyone
else with your troubles

how to throw a punch
(only how to take one
and complain instead
of fighting back)

how to treat your body
with respect and when
you don't like someone else's
to keep your mouth shut

how to keep your chin up
when you're down
how when you don't like
something you do it anyway

to only accept criticism
from those you would
go to for advice
and that giving someone
the benefit of the doubt only
benefits the giver's conscience

how even words
that mean well
can cut directly
into a person's soul
and leave them
bleeding for decades

a work ethic
a good attitude
how to rely on yourself
and yourself alone
for anything and everything
but especially money

my brother taught me
bunny ears for my sneakers
my pastor's wife taught me
not to pack down flour in a cup
my first job taught me
how to clean a kitchen
my boyfriend taught me
how to make gravy
my boss taught me
you show up even when
you're sick and tired
and don't want to be there
my best friend taught me
positivity is never wasted
but i still sleep with
lumps of blankets in my bed

the numbers in my
bank account
the food on my
dining room table
and the people i made
a decision to love all
let me know
i'm self sufficient now
but my mother still
winds her way through
my subconscious whining
that i still need her

and i'll spend the rest
of my life trying
to unlearn the things that
my mother never taught me