i swear to god,
every bit of my body
is crying
besides my eyes.

you love him
you love his smooth hands and his rough cheek
you love your hands in his denim shirt
and the cinematography of you together
everything else is an afterthought

the knife in his eyes that is not always pointed at you
but when it is
you kiss the fist that rattles plates
the lips that wrap around clenched teeth
melt him

fail to understand his poison tipped arrows
that are aimed at the mother who threw bottles
if he could only pick one more fight it'd be with his father
you kiss him when he knocks his brother's teeth out

he leaves in the morning for coffee and comes back a day later
welcome him with open arms and abundant questions
he will be a tower of irritation and concrete
he will point fingers that will curl into fists
but they are not fists for you
they are for the devils that dance within him
and behind his wild eyes
and in his childhood home

you will not be fooled
he loves you
you know by every sweetheart and the lips on your forehead and the way he smells in between the sheets each night

he leaves
he comes back
purple flowers that bloom around his eyes are the bouquets he brings home for you
the front porch sags when he puts his hands in his pockets
his face buried in your chest
on nights when the lamp swings a little too low
and his body is wracked with sobbing and shoulders shaking

he mourns the gentle temper he never had
he mourns what he would be like without you
he mourns what you would be like without him
this is how he loves you

your hands in his hair easing soothing shh shh
you are the mother who left
you are better than every last ex-girlfriend
for reasons he will be happy to name
this is how you love him

you came because you are drawn to the shipwrecks
but you stayed in the water for him
ancient child
furious soul
you salt his wounds
and then you clean them
this is how you love him

WHAT THE **** CHANGED                              
WHY DIDNT IT WORK                                              
WHY DONT I EXIST TO YOU                                    
WHEN YOU EXIST IN EVERY                                  
******* THING IN THIS                                    
STUPID ******* WORLD                                    
I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE                                    
I SEE YOU IN THE ******* SKY                      
WHEN IM SMOKING LONELY CIGARETTES
AT 4 IN THE MORNING                                      
I SEE YOU IN THE STRANGERS THAT              
WALK PAST WITH BLANK FACES                      
BUT WHAT HURTS THE MOST IS THAT          
I CANT EVER SEE YOU AGAIN.    
                      
S.W

It's nearly been a week since we last spoke
I've been counting the days
I hope I can keep counting
If you know what I mean

You smile when you pass me
But don't dare say hello
Don't you dare say hello

you are
summer
fall and
winter
for me
and so i
like the
spring.

I opened the blinds.
I took a deep breath.
I reminded myself that I exist.
I let you go.

It was a routine morning.

She will lose herself in a book
and find herself in poetry

She thinks that religion is a sacrilege
and that long showers are sacred

She makes love when she's tired
and never tires of making love

She is irreverent in her humor
and pious in her gravity

She is diligent in completing her work
and ambitious of her quest for leisure

She is the personification of romanticism
and the embodiment of compassion

She exists harmoniously in my mind

they apologized
to clear their
conscience
not because
they were sorry.