The memories replay in my mind
The poems that I've read so many times
The truth of you I try to find
Scanning each moment, each complex rhyme
I try to understand the scars on your arm
The depression you've resigned yourself to
But I feel in you more than just your blade’s charm
There's a light deep down inside you
So long you've been fighting
To always keep that light
All the thoughts you put into writing:
You're winning your fight
But I still have trouble finding who you are
The truth is more than I can ever hope of seeing
Even in your bittersweet hell, with every scar
You care with every fiber of your being
The truth escapes me
No matter how hard I try
But I do know that you’re a deep, beautiful sea
The reason for the sapphires in my eyes

Today I wanted to die,
I imagined the plane crashing and exploding,
I dreamt of falling to my death,
I envisioned free-falling till I was like a bug...
yet I didn't want any of this.

I hoped my heart would stop on a caffeine overdose,
I wanted to be dead to be numb again,
I longed to feel empty and alone,
I couldn't feel tired knowing I failed...
**I wanted all of the pain, regret and disillusion.