I might have gotten myself into another attraction that could never work, but at least I think I'm really done with you. Maybe circumstances and time have twisted chance out of my hands, but at least my hands don't reach for the empty air where you were anymore when I'm trapped in my own darkness. Even though my luck is crumpled this time, as it always is, at least I don't feel my lungs crumpling and collapsing into themselves the way I used to, every time I heard your name. At least.

Wellbutrin* keeps my mind.
from going Splat,
like a fly Smashed by
a swatter, It shuts off
the Slow drip of
Anxiety, that Twists
my Stomach in knots
as doubts Trip through
my mind Like it's
a Playground...
it keeps My days
from Feeling
nonstop Sleepy
I'm glad it Keeps me
from Insanity...JMF 2/21/15

If I have to worry about if I'm replying to you too quickly and seeming over eager or something, the length of my texts being too long or the content of my texts being too weird, or the amount of texts I send you at once being too much because I'm scared I'll freak you out and annoy you by making you feel like I'm talking too much and won't shut up or I'm obsessed with you or something, then we are not really friends.