i am broken and i want to be whole
death is stained on my fingertips
he loves the taste of my tears
so i wash my face too often

why am i so broken
there is no meaning in the cracks of my soul
i fill my life with comfort and
still death is always behind me

my throat is so swollen
from pollen and panic attacks
that ravage my body and
rip out the seams in my story

i've lost myself and
though i spent months seeking myself
all i see in the mirror is unspent
potential for depression to run me aground again

there is no wayfinder in my heart
like yours, with your goals
as a GPS and your achievements
like landmarks in your mother's hallway

i write beginnings
of sentences that now are
litter on the floor of my mind
because no words encompass my fear

and now endings are all i can think of
but i don't want to be another
face on the obituary, lost
amid painful goodbye's and small typeface

if the peaches hold their blooms
if the figs survive the chickens
if the berries are tickled with rain
if the plums are so entertained
if the crabapples taste a shower in November
if the pears make it through winter
if the jalapeños get hot weather
if the grape vines hold together

the hunting of modern Man
producers for consumers
and vice versa.

a spiritual path
for a religious animal
breathe deep.

do you have a spirit?
that hungers?
is your heart for love?

Now that I am more sober
Than those who judge us
And straighter than
Those who would lead us
My eyes see clearly
And my ears hear
The fallacies of generations

Now the age blazes
For new definitions
And more honest realities

So now it's time
To imagine the unthinkable
To forget the age-old rules
Evolved by those
Who had selfish reasons
And traditional means
To keep us in ignorance
And in our places

                                       By Phil Roberts

I am so tired
And it's the kind of tiredness
That no amount of sleep or rest
Can ever cure or ease
World weary is what I am

All my life
For as long as I can remember
I've been fighting for or against
Something
Anything
I only knew the fight

Bodies become battered and broken
And minds become anxious and paranoid
But both of these can be fixed
However
When a soul becomes worn and diminished
Medication does not help

                                            By Phil Roberts

You want to be strong.
For me?
For you?
I don't know.
You are a strong man,
a man I look up to.
You have taught me to be tough through life
and be man in a bad situation.

But today my heart broke.
The man I see as a leader,
a god compared to me
broke out in tears.
A man of little emotions
crying out as a new born baby.
With pipes coming out of him,
he cried and I stood stocked, and in tears.
Wondering how pain could do such a thing.

creepy moss that hide in dark spots
on creaked roads and river ponds
slimy green and even brick red
they are the first terrestrials ...or so , Ive read

the stages in which a fish walks on land
or  how earthquakes move continents
and how movements cause formation of land
that millions of cells died regenerated to birth new plan

that stars died for earth to be reborn ..
that there is no right or wrong
that i have no such a purpose but to exist
that life is an empty and a meaningless abbis

that the rays of the sun so colorfully stream  
are shooting down at precision speed
that the rotation and direction of our earth spins
in nothing but chances ......by them we live

although facts upon facts , they reach
never coming to conclusions , they teach ....


how can we just be
an anomaly of evolution and astrophysics
how can we be
so complex ...feel ?(thoughts , emotions , ideas ?..)
or is it just chemicals that control our
actions and the turning of the wheels ?

Water born
Paper rip
Let the table tip

Time will pass
Matter
Mass
to life we ever grip

Fevered fury
Of the mind
And to the earth we bind

Ease of thought
And nothing sought
With nothing left to find

How of you to fester so
And Where of you to go
Mortal
Moral
Mailable
With seeds you cannot sow

So
Do let slip
The wasting fear
The darkness
And unknown

The vine
Has snaked and blossomed thus
With nowhere left to grow.