I've always
hated
change

Recently it's become
easier;
the little things
at least

I changed my room
got rid of some old books
never thought that day would come

But this, this
Metamorphosis
is nearly
impossible

Painful
I feel like I'm
dying
sometimes

As much as I hate to admit it,
I'm scared
petrified

My mind
"she always did have SUCH an overactive imagination"
jumping from worse-case scenario
to worse-case scenario

I find myself wishing for something
easier
simpler
like the apocalypse

Let's be honest,
Walkers are kind of pathetic anyway
at least then we'd be too busy
surviving
to worry about all this

I know I just need time
But right now I still just
hate
change

she wanders
through life
her emotions
flip
like a light switch
on
off
on
off

Monster
empath
Monster

she cries
confused
not understanding the
signs
laid out for her

stumbles
every day
trying
to get through

wondering
wondering
wondering
who
she
is

is she
Light
or Darkness?

sometimes
she feels like a
duality
like she is
e
v
e
r
y
t
h
i
n
g

and she doesn't
comprehend
her purpose

but she is
Chosen
and Guided

she has time
to orient herself
Pain waits ahead
but she is stronger than it
she is Power

learning who you are
takes
time
Patience
is the most difficult thing to
master
but it must be done

how does one know so much
and so little at the same time?

how does one feel the need to
celebrate
and
cry
all at once

nobody ever said that Metamorphosis would be easy

Tell me
now
before it's too late:

How do I
crawl
back into my chrysalis?
How do I undo the
transformation
that has begun in me?

How do I go back to being a
caterpillar
A child, naive and free

I said I wanted to
let
the Monster
out
but I changed my mind!
I changed
my
mind

Please

I cannot be the Monster anymore
because it
would
break
you

Even if you knew you did not
create
the Monster
(please please please don't ever believe that!)
You would have to live with knowing it was
your
hands
that taught it to ****

That when I spoke words of love to you
I was praising you for making it
ever so easy
(no no no I don't want this)

No matter what happens
you are the anti-Monster
no
no
you are the Monster
tamed

I understand now
It lives in you too
It
has
to

It makes complete sense!
Maybe in a way
you did create the Monster
Maybe it did not come from pain
but from simple genetics?

I think I understand now
I understand now!
We aren't meant to
****
the Monster
We aren't meant to
suffocate it
And we aren't meant to
succumb
to it

We have to tame it
Ally with it
And use it
to do something good
It's another prophesy
I understand now
I UNDERSTAND NOW
There is a reason for everything!

This is why
This is why
This is why

We are the Monsters
Because God is a God of vengeance
and sometimes peace is not enough
We are the Monsters
Not to go against Him
but to serve Him
All the prophesies are coming true
They are all coming true!

Someday, you'll understand!
In a way,
you already do
Someday we'll be Monsters
together

And save the world,
just like I always knew
we
would

I am the Monster
The Monster is me
It spreads through my soul in blackout tendrils
And takes me where I'm meant to be

I've been betrayed
One too many times
Ridiculed for beautiful things
That make me feel alive

I used to care what others think
Hid my face, cried silent tears
I've given up on being human
Let them whisper, let them fear!

What right do we have to claim to be good?
When we're all living heartless lies
We would all be murderers
If scathing thoughts were crimson knives

I once longed to be fearless
But spent my life afraid of pain
Now I welcome all the torture
It is their loss and my great gain

Let them underestimate me
But I will no longer make that mistake
My enemies thought they bested me
They don't know that I'll never break

I am smarter, faster, stronger
Then they will ever be
Invincible, unstoppable
"We are a machine!"

So say farewell to who I was
And learn to fear who I've become
You can keep your body bag
I swear to you,
I'm
Not
Done