You say you’ll never fall in love
And that’s okay
As long as I’m your favourite nothing
I will always stay
It’s enough for me to live my life
Floating in your peripherals
As long as you don’t find a better
Way to spend your intervals
I live in fear that one day you might
Meet a girl and change your mind
Then I won’t be your favourite
You’ll have no reason to be kind
Nothing won’t mean anything to you
Not like it was
I fear that one day you won’t need me
Because you will be in love

My cognitive
           dissonance
Won’t make any
           difference
Because his
           effervescence
Rotted all of my
           essence
His self assured
           ambience
Expired my
           relevance
And no impotent,
           ignorance
Can unbalance this
           turbulence

I really do love love,
But love does not love me.
I love his hands upon my skin,
Though bruised my skin will be.
I love his kisses on my head,
Without them I’m as good as dead.
I love love though it breaks me,
So why does love just hate me?

I miss you
   Said nothing
            To nobody
                 Then no one
         Said nothing
    And nothing
Was missed

One first date (it was all it took)
Two bonfires (maybe three)
Three break ups (so far)
Four bad ideas (or were they all?)
Five hot tub dips (sounds about right)
Six lawnmower rides (that was new)
Seven heartbreaks (a day)
Eight other girls (probably)
Nine sleepless nights (a week)
Ten months…
…no..more…
Seventeen months
(But I never was good at counting).

I lie in bed
awake till 2,
Every night
To honour you.
I wrap myself in
Tears and wine,
To take away all my
Spare time.
I tell myself that
I’m okay,
Listen to Muna
Stayaway.
But I can’t breathe without
Your breath,
Without your depths I have
No depth.
I’m hollow and I’m filled
With pain,
Couldn’t bare to
Love again.  
I lie in bed
Awake till 2,
That’s all that I know
How to do.

I have heard
A very strange fact.
You could bite off your finger,
If your brain allowed the act.
Letting go of you
Is a similar feat.
I have to stop loving you,
But my mind admits defeat.
I would stay away
If I could fathom the pain.
But science prevents me,
Because of my brain.

You spin dreamscapes across my mind
You weave a skyline made of satin clouds
You burn me with flames made of stars
And keep me in your pocket
Safe and sound
In my imaginary world you created

Just twenty minutes
Laying on your sofa
My head on your chest
Your hand on my rib cage
Feeling your breath
Moving in my hair
Feels like a lifetime of love
And that’s why I can’t
Give you up

I must have a backwards heart,
Or at least a broken brain.
You told me you can’t love me,
But you’ll have to tell again.
You assure me with your words,
And then with careless actions too,
That falling for me is just something you will never do.
But still I can’t and won’t believe,
That you don’t feel like me.
You can’t tell me any other girl,
Visits you in your dreams.
If we are not in love then explain to me my dear,
Why our bodies fit together and your absence I can’t bear.
Convince me I’m the only one that feels so safe and whole.
Manipulate my mind as you’ve done to my heart and soul.
Insist that your hand wasn’t made to rest upon my thigh,
That it doesn’t mean a thing when your eyes knowingly meet mine.
You’ll have to put the work in to persuade me it’s not true.
Or I’m sorry but I have no choice,
I’ll just keep loving you.

I hate you so much
Because I love your stupid face
I hate it when you text me
Because I wait for it all day
I hate it when you lie
But I’ll still come back for more
I hate that we have fun
Because I wish you made me bored
I hate you in the morning
When I wake up from my dreams
I hate that you’re in every one
I can’t escape it seems
I hate you in the evening
When your face keeps me awake
And I hate you with each and every
Single breath I take.

Time waster,
Wine taster.
Covert lover,
Losing cover.
Rude creator,
Crude spectator.
Secret liar,
Limping sigher.
Companion seeker,
Slowly cheaper.
You and I are,
Rain and paper.

Her: could you pretend to love me?
Maybe just for a few hours?
You don’t have to give up other girls or ever buy me flowers.
Could you just let me sleep and maybe hold me for a while?
You wouldn’t have to feel it,
You don’t even have to smile.
Just maybe let me feel like I am safe and play pretend.
Tell me I’m your favourite and it doesn’t have to end.
Would you mind just doing some of that?
Just sometimes, not all day.
Would you mind it if I pretend with you?
Would you hate it if I stay?
Him: …