A suggestion of a flutter in the frail fibres of a feather,
Hanging from a whispered web of thread,
Is it breeze that disturbs the stillness?
Or perhaps the breath is that of a fantasty,
Ambitions painted on some hazy eyes,
Or songs woven in slumber,
Catching in the curves of a charm,
Gently nudging their way into reality,
For long enough to start the softest of ripples,
In a handmade dreamcatcher.

Letters, numbers, a list on a page
Absolutes that will not change,
These lines and dots are my future days,
Defined by database.

My stress, my fear, my falling apart,
My dedication to love and art,
My panicked tears, my shaky start,
My transcripted heart.

How could lives be no more than words?
How could a soul's journey be of no worth?
Can truth so complex have simple birth?
Build a binary world.

Tempted by my reflection
To scold and scathe myself
The suggestion planted in a dream
I am wrong, I am broken, I am weak.
A voice in my ear as I look at my hips
"Too narrow, you freak."
And if I listened, I'd think these clothes don't fit,
That my body is destined to disgust,
But instead I ignore, no, defy,
And shout "This is who I am!"
"I am a daughter of God,
of a mother and a father."
"I am a sister of my sisters."
"I am loved by too many to drown in hate."
"I am me, I am free to love and to dream."
"I am mine, I am alive and I am baptised."

A rush of wind down an ancient street,
Catches the folds of my dress,
Music captured from times now lost,
Floats between the carved beams.

I can feel the cobbles through my sandals,
And the heat on my covered shoulders,
Filtered between squashed-together roofs
Of pretty houses unchanged but for restoration.

There is no such thing as rush here,
The fastest pace is but a stroll,
Here getting anywhere is not the point,
Instead your eyes do the walking.

And now they wander across the flower baskets,
And the art and clothes shops,
That spill out onto the streets,
Bringing life to a tranquil town.

Legs
     shaking
            down
                  uneven
              spirals
          Hands
   gripping
coarse
     rope
          Feet
               searching
             for
purchase
           Eyes
             looking
                       for
                 their
           marks
    Rushing
when
    found
        security
            Hoping
          to
   reach
safety
      It's
         not
            much
       further
    to
leave
    that
       cave
             of
               descent.

Its eye locks on mine,
A tiny bead,
Resting between the smooth tiles of its skin.

Its head tilts towards me,
A flicker of tongue,
Swiftly tasting the baking air.

Its tail twitches to one side,
A wave down its length,
So precisely positioning the delicate limb.

Its body twists a little,
Toes spread apart,
As it clings to the sandy brick.

Its skin pulses,
Appearing like silk,
As each breath moves those scales beneath the sunlight.

A glistening stream of shining specks scatters down the sky,
A streak of hazy beauty, a backdrop for the stars,
And stars upon stars never seen, revealed in the clarity of distance,
Of isolation, freedom from the burden of structure,
Here, drifting between worlds, the heavens are open,
Their glory sprinkled onto the perfect canvas,
And in the trail of a burning rock falling to Earth,
The pure enormity of reality is revealed,
For behind each star lies another, further from reach,
Further from comprehension,
And behind that, the invisibility of a star so untouchable,
Not even a fragment of its existence has graced this majestic image.

Across those waves,
How romanticised in my mind,
So serene, so free of care,
The light filtered just right,
Over perfect faces,
Through beautiful trees,
Strolling down quaint lanes,
Exchanged smiles,
Eyes caught on each other,
For a moment that transcends language,
When all that matters is now,
Such fantasies,
But...perhaps?
Some fantasies come true, after all.
Time to find out...

Flames lick at my eyes
Leaving their vicious residue
Biting at the vessels
Bleeding out into view
Screaming! Screaming!
Water runs in futile attempt
To subdue the air as it scratches
With poison on its claws
And pain on its tongue
Burning! Burning!
The world is a haze
Corrupted before even meeting
My melting pupils
I'm shaking in purest agony
Crumbling, collapsing,
My only escape - darkness
Eyelids tight, hiding
The fragile white of my eyes
A short relief, but slowly
Burning through the door,
The fire does not end.

A voice I know so well
Words I wrote
Words that made me
Feel far too much
Like I'm falling backwards
Into the darkness I once
Swam through with eyes open
Staring as I drifted
As if in the distant depths
There might be some light
Some hope
Some dream worth chasing
Some reason to gasp at life
Like that last breath
Somehow
I could still sing along
And slip back into that water
But instead
I turn my head forward
And see filtering through
Hints of change
And a promise
An aim
A future to shoot for
To pull my arms into motion
And start swimming
Up.

Many years have passed
A host of dark dark nights
She was falling into despair
Cause she couldn't be
Who she wanted to be
And she was too scared to grow her hair
And as time went  by
She lived her lie
And learned to lock her feelings away
She was afraid and lost
Asking God
To take all her pain.

And he said:
"My child, you know I love you."
"You know I don't want you to fall apart."

He said:
"My child, I am with you."
"And I gave you the love in your heart."

He said:
"Daughter, my daughter."
"Your life is a work of art."
"So let them see."

There was a boy
Who used to play with boy's toys
Cars, trains, planes and making noise -
Just like the other boys.

He had a twin sister
Who used to play with dolls
He'd watch and sometimes
He'd try to join her.

But when he started school
There were so many new rules
And he had to stop playing with her.
So he played his part
And ignored his heart
So it would easy - could it be easy?

No, he was falling apart on the inside
On the inside he couldn't breathe
He tried not to show it on the outside
On the outside he was just he
It should be easy.

He hid it away, tried not to think
But he still made friends with girls
So much easier
But he didn't like pink.

And anyway, he wanted a girlfriend
So he had to stay a boy, he thought.
And so that was that
He had to stay a man, no choice.

But he heard this word
That changed his world
And made a future for him.
Girls could love girls
In that single word
It would be easy - could it be easy?

He didn't have to fall apart on the inside
On the inside he could be free
He started letting it out on the outside
On the outside he became she,
It should be easy.

Colour
Smiles
Together
All around
Surrounded
By love I never
Thought I'd find
By people who are
Somehow like me
People who get it
Eye contact is enough
To say:
"I'm with you"
"We're with you"
"You're with us"
You
How you are
On days like this
Perhaps we could do anything
Who could stop this love?
An unbelievable love
That shouldn't exist
But does anyway.