3:20 a.m.

all i'm thinking about is how lucky i am to get to sleep and wake up next to my best friend/soulmate, each and every night.

I am lost,
In this desolate place in time and space
Slowly floating into nonexistence
A life of not doing
But being.
Who knew space was like a maze?
The dead ends replaced with black holes
That **** you up into their worlds.
A world of darkness,
With tiny dashes of light.
***** of gas burning me alive.
A world of suffering,
But a world of beauty.
I don't believe I mind the pain.
Glancing at Earth from billions of light years away
A tiny ant.
We are nothing.
Our lives are only a minuscule fraction of this universe,
So along I go,
I couldn't find my place in my world,
So I floated through space
To find my place in the universe,
But this maze has overcome me
I don't think humans were made
To experience life in the sky.

the thing i loved about you most, is that you had this power over me that no other man could hold.

you fueled me yet also
had the ability to rip me to shreds
all with one look.
but,
i loved you
in ways
i could never love myself,
and for that reason
i let you destroy me.
because i believed
that the bruises and scars
i wore on my flesh
we're a token of your affection.

but as long as i love you, i am not free.



the thing i hate about you most, is that you have this power over me that no man should ever hold.

Structures will tumble, my dear,
far sooner than later.
Just know that, even then
I will still be here:
  admiring you from afar,
  wishing upon every star,
  hoping your eyes will make
   their way -
   my way.

every night,
is so lonely without you here.
i sleep curled up in a ball on one side of the bed, and when i turn in the opposite direction, the coldness of the sheets rubs up against my skin. i turn away immediately,
for in that moment it clicks.
you are no longer mine.

in a world filled with so much hatred,
you 

are the prescription of happiness I need

to keep
me
sane.

in moments
of utter chaos,
i am calmed
by the remembrance of
your beating heart.