a very prominent philadelphia actor is still asleep next to me
i can't find my meteor
construction lurks outside
bang bang bang
he is stirring
i was everywhere last night
isn't it bizarre how memory works?
images rushing back like waves on a shore
who were we last year?
who were we last night?
I was so moved by terrible art
masturabatory
over romanticization of the highest pain
****
i amaze myself by how nice i can be sometimes
i hate being nice
life doesnt imitate art
whoever said that was a ******* idiot

paths are crossed while others are being blocked with road signs
neon lights on parkways blinding eyes
how easily people come and go these days
like sickness
patterns and get learned and forgotten
daily routines lost while olds ones are picked up like broken dishes
gestures and words are re-gifted to the next birthday boy
small fractions of memories stick like band-aids
originality was lost three years ago
love has become re-runs in syndication
eventually the VHS of romance will deteriorate to fuzz and static
running fast from the sopranos to baywatch
not knowing where taste escaped
lips on lips
chewing and spitting
double whiskeys all night and still feeling sober as the world around you falls into a drunken stupor
like silk falling off a soft shoulder
thoughts still present
paranoia growing
cigarettes are starting to be manifestations of thoughts
this one's for my broken heart
this one's because i'm drunk
this one's because it's hot out and i'm bored
when worse comes to worse
sleep is always there
until then
no harness
let's fall
who cares if there's anything to catch us

a saturated sunset start showing her sensual side
wine dripping down my thighs
the way you look at me
don't do it but don't stop
teeth shining
****
limbs twisting
choke
hot skin crashing together like cymbals
when did the sun come up?
we couldn't notice because we were coming up all night

+
1. biting pens the way I used to bite your lip
2. that shot of alcohol you don't need just to forget yourself
3. not sleeping because you always reside in my dreams
4. eating too much to not feel empty
5. not eating because i'm too full of regret

i wish i could tell you 'I love you' again
whiskey stinging only my lips as you watch me fall apart

You were a slotted spoon

You appeared to be picking me up

Cradling me to your lips

Enveloping my body into yours

I was too starry-eyed to see the giant holes in your arms

Doing everything I could to nourish you

Wanting your stomach full of warmth

Letting me skip so easily down to the ground

Disgusted, you turned away

I’m still in a puddle on the ground