My heart
Is a happy drunk
A little too open
A little too optimistic
It's over in the corner of the bar
Playing poker
Screaming at the top of it's lungs
I'M ALL IN
When it's never
To this day
Had a winning hand

My heart
Is a sad drunk
A little too lonely
A little too caught up in tears
It's over at the counter
Forcing the bartender to take its keys
Because it would rather not go home
Than go home alone again

My heart
Is a reckless drunk
A little too unbalanced
A little too impaired
It's over by the door
Making everyone nervous
A little too good at scaring people away
A little too far gone

Like you
A little too far gone
Turn your head
Shuffle away and pretend you don't notice
The breakdown of a heart
Too drunk on feelings
To know when to stop

So I think I may be alone in thinking this - but I feel like the world is flat.
People disappear after a certain time and they never come back.  They don't have to be dead.  They just somehow cease to exist, and I figure it's a beautiful thing.  When you're gone - you can't come back... and I love it.
So, please, stay away because I don't know if I could say no and I'd rather not be tested.  The world is flat - fall away.
Don't send me a post card.

Dear ____

I found a letter the other night that I had written to you years ago.  The note said that you were my soulmate and that one day* you would realize it and come back to me and I'd wait for you forever.  So here's another letter that I will send...out here in this space where anyone can read it and interpret it as he may...

You will never realize I'm the one for you because you can't see who you are.  Underneath the layers of skin and bones, you're more.  That heart that beats and those addictions you crave glaze the truth in your soul and distract you by keeping you deep into the ground instead of planting on top of it.  I'm sorry that you never got to reciprocate the love I gave because you will never know a family, a home, or a future that surpassed your greatest dreams.  You will know mediocrity.  And to be honest, that makes me more sad than you could ever imagine....

And really, I don't care.  I do, but I don't because I feel like I ought to and that's the only reason I still even entertain these thoughts.  Do you understand?  I guess you can not give a **** and that's fine but there will come a day (it always comes) when you  see me (bump into me perhaps?) and you will apologize and see that I was right.  But I will be living the extraordinary life and even your disquiet will not dim my light.

We chose before we were born into these human, frail bodies - our souls would do this dance.  So, thanks.  For teaching me exactly what NOT to do. And for being the beautiful ******* that you are

Love always,
Me

Though I walk with my head held high,
shoulders back,
smile bright
down that hallway of window lights,
each time I meet your eyes it hurts so much to look up again
To see you walking away
with someone else
rather than feeling your approach behind
me.

You don't love someone if you can leave them for days without warning.
You don't love someone if your happiness means more to you than theirs.
You don't love someone if you can lie straight to their face and not feel the slightest bit guilty.
You don't love someone if seeing them cry doesn't shred your heart to pieces.
You don't love someone if you get angry at them for being upset and they don't open up to you right away.
You don't love someone if you make them feel guilty for things that are out of their control.
You don't love someone if falling asleep to their voice isn't the most comforting thing to you.
You don't love someone if their laugh isn't your favorite sound.
You don't love someone if when you look into their eyes, you see a reflection of yourself.
You don't love someone if when you kiss them, your mind doesn't go completely fuzzy and you can still remember your name.
You don't love someone if being in their arms doesn't feel like home
You don't love someone if you allow your friends to talk badly about them and you agree.
You don't love someone if just hearing their name doesn't make you smile.
You don't love someone if making them happy isn't one of your top priorities.
You don't love someone if you can admit that they love you more.


    

                                    B.S.

Always thinking of the people to come
Who will be unconsciously affected by my ghosting traces of life
Never stopping to think of the ghosts
Which surround my pacing feet, and flexing lungs
With each step they take, and breath they gulp

.

Hey there gorgeous, flash a smile
  Don’t look back, stand straight, you’re fine
Learn to accept a compliment you ****!
  Face hot in the cold wind, tears threaten to fall
  I move on. I am strong.

With the number of boys I kiss, it doesn’t matter
  (all laugh) but why can’t you kiss whoever you’d like?
Can she really pull off that dress? When she, yaknow, looks like that?
  (she can wear whatever the **** she wants) I don’t know, I think it’s cute
  I compliment that girl. She is strong.

Don’t pick that up! Let a man! You’ll get hurt!
  With my strong thighs that lift better than ripped arms?
Don’t worry; the female body can just shut that whole thing down
  With what pre-installed ****-detector application?
  How are such ridiculous notions passed publicly as truth?
  I overhear a young girl correcting her boyfriend’s slur. We are strong.