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I drew the sun on my skin in the hopes that it would melt my frozen insides, but the ink bled through and there's nothing warm about the moon. With ribs like the tundra and a chest cavity full of snow storms, I sit in the silver glow of my cold winter moon and pretend that I am some semblance of alright. Time passes like snow flurries and my ceiling is farther away than it should be as I drift through the insanity of my reality.
I am all the mess I've ever been.
Red-rimmed eyes don't last very long and no one is ever around in time to see winter bloom inside my skull. Snowflake eyes and blue-tinged lips are only so pretty until you reach for them. The touch is icy unforgivable, not something you want to hold on to.
And as I whisper melting glaciers into oblivion, I am understanding that there is nothing beautiful about the puddle juxtaposed by the flame. So I will stay achingly cold and untouchable blue.
Winter I will stay.
a collection of eclectic tendencies that stem from roundabout tragidies
and honestly i'm not sure if i'm a product of myself
or my insanity and learning the difference
means examining the parts of me
i'd rather not see and that's probably because i'm not a very good
seed and my roots never quite manage to grow properly
and there's always more water than soil and so i've got nowhere to stay
except on the ever-changing tide of my white lies and false smiles
so it's no wonder i keep falling into a state of decay but it's not like
i mean to
i mean i don't want to be like this
i don't want to fall apart all the time
and really there's nothing very appealing about dying
but i guess i feel the same way about being alive
and i'm writing to keep myself from bleeding because i made a promise
and you're not here to keep it
i guess i should have known better than to expect
anyone to really want to save me from myself
i've got landmines buried in my smile and every now and then
i hit the ground face first from the explosion and maybe i'm just going
to have to live the rest of my life upside down
to keep the blood from filling up my lungs
i keep telling myself there's no reason to die
but i can't find a reason to stay alive and i guess i'm just
checking my heigh to get the right coffin size and i keep losing weight
so that at least i can be cute for once in my life
or does it count if i'm already dead
what's the difference between a grave and a coffin
honestly the only thing i can see
is that coffins aren't free and i guess i've been buried in my chest
for so long that i should go ahead and get a tombstone
it's not like my heart could ever be a zombie
i'm too far gone for any sort of science to revive my broken mind
so maybe i'm not quite dead yet
but i'm certainly not alive
As you wish!


On a short and sweet notice, in a sphere of dissent,
You pinned an Excalibur of youthful delight.
Like a bullet of laughter through most gloomy torrent,
You carved the initials of an enduring Nile,

Draining the cowardly anguish scent,
A torrent of sorrow that comes to an end,
Ending the story that failed to descend,
To the end of the Nile and further dissent.
You carved a dissimilar unusual scent, portrait of the Nile!

No grass, no forest, no human or beast,
No flowers, no crawling creatures or gods from the East,
No birds or ancestors, no suns and no mists,
No other cosmic body that firmly exists
Will ever grasp the humblest desire to smile,
You brought into essence in this ravaged cryptic empire.



It suddenly stopped! The comfort, the fog, the sand and the sea,
Have suddenly plunged and crumbled to form a new entity.
A matter of time or awakening call?
I fail to remember. Illusion or not,
I desperately cannot recall.


Be that a dream? A marvelous touch of phantasmic thrill?
That guides the spirit from real to ordeal?
that all was a myth, and legend will stay
until you get absorbed like a paralyzed prey?
I desire to risk, no incentives for me to obey!

And who can possibly name the unnamed sensation drafted to stay
that clutches to you, bewilders your mind and stretches the borders of time!
No wonder we die, a natural body can fit an unnatural smile
Just for a while…

And reaching the terminal stage of creation,
Contend once again without a swing:
-Irrational mind with chained understanding,
And a singular thought that is free-,
I surrender to life, to death I aspire.
But until then, I’ll be wearing the smile you gave me.

As I desire…
Exalting at the beginning, followed by a state of confusion...and in the end there's only hope that keeps you hanging in there.
 Jan 2015 Ceida Uilyc
somberblues
I've been taught to start everything
computer related, internet related
with "Hello World"

So, print "Hello World"

You the reader
reading these somber blues
from a soul that knows no limit to suffering
shall be redeemed in this role play of the reader and writer

Letting me, redeem, some sins, some debts
Some words
Some hellos, unsaid.
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