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cv Sep 2017
pretty girl with pretty flowers,
do not be afraid to trace the soft curves of your body
with your round, round eyes.
your monsters hide not there—
your guardian angels do.

when your night feels longer than the day,
breathe the smidgen of youth you have left in you
into the birds swimming fluidly with the stars—
their wings swiftly cutting smooth ripples into the sky,
disturbing the grumbling twilight.
you could be one of them,
able to go nowhere and everywhere.
like air.

don’t you want to go home?


sad girl with sad flowers,
keep your leaves tucked inside your old books,
in lacy sleeves, your peeling boots—
hope He finds them all there.

sing sweetly of the poets of all ages—siken, plath, wilde, whitman
shamelessly climb inside His chest,
gently rip His ribs apart,
the you that's serenading, softly seducing Him
with songs unsung and dreams undreamt.

let your baby blue skirt ride up,
drip, drip, drip,
let His calloused fingers brush your thighs made of syrupy milk,
as you smile, and smile, and smile.


fiery girl with stormy flowers,
the best things in life cannot be confined to a physical shape, cannot be
seen, or touched, or heard, or said—
yet in your eyes set heavy by damp eyelashes,
there is the primal, unconfined, raw thirst,
desperately hoping and searching.

is it a lost love? an unfounded love?
what is it that you are looking for?
snippets of a poem i wrote
cv Sep 2017
to see you once more with the soft twilight behind you,
the pastel glow harsh on your skin, your freckled cheeks flushed
from the summer heat, your eyes like sister stars rivaling the *******
sun keep laughing darling please i'll always be here to listen
he was beautiful--the brightest and loudest supernova of them all.
  Sep 2017 cv
saint
m
YOU LEFT ME BECAUSE OF THE CIGARETTES I SMOKE,
NOW MY LUNGS ARE BURNING MORE THAN EVER.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS.

I SAW OUR FUTURE SO CLEARLY

IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME THAT I MIGHT HAVE ONE WITHOUT YOU.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND IT HURTS.

I KEEP REMEMBERING OUR NIGHT TOGETHER-
WE STAYED OUT TILL THE SUN CAME UP.

BEFORE YOU I WOULD GO TO SLEEP HOPING IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME I CLOSE MY EYES-

YOU GAVE MY HOPE.

I LOVED THE SUN AND I LOVED THE MOON.
I LOVED THE STARS AND I LOVED YOU.

GOD KNOWS I WISH I STILL HAD YOU.

MY HEART ACHES AND I CAN’T BREATHE.
I’VE CRIED LAKES AND I STILL HAVE RIVERS TO FILL.

IF MY TEARS WERE RED,

YOU’D SEE HOW MUCH I BLEED FOR YOU.
IF MY VEINS WERE BLUE,

I’D SLIT OCEANS FOR YOU.

I’M SO TIRED AND SO NUMB.

MY WORLD IS SO QUIET.

AND IT HURTS TO KNOW YOU’LL NEVER KNOW WHERE I’M COMING FROM.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND MY PAIN RUNS DEEP INSIDE OF ME.

CUT ME OPEN AND LET ME BLEED.

I’M SO SICK OF THE PAIN AND SO SICK OF THE RAIN.
I’M JUST AS CLOSE TO RUNNING AWAY
AS I WAS TO YOU.

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COPE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LOSE YOU.

I’D GIVE ANYTHING TO LOOK INTO YOUR EYES ONCE MORE-

TO FEEL YOUR HANDS AND SEE YOUR SMILE.

YOUR BEAUTIFUL SMILE-

I’D TEAR OCEANS APART AND SPIT AT THE SUN.

I’D SHINE LIGHT AT STARS AND BREAK MOUNTAINS TO CRUMBS.

JUST TO SEE THE SMILE THAT TURNED MY HEART INTO AN ORCHESTRA OF DRUMS.

I’M FALLING APART AND ROTTING AWAY.
MY GOOSEBUMPS ARE STARTING TO ACHE.
MY EYES ARE TOO TIRED TO WAKE
.
MY LUNGS ARE TOO BURNT TO TAKE
ANY MORE OF THIS PAIN-


AND MY HEART WILL FOREVER BE YOURS TO BREAK.

‏-want me like i want you,
love me like i love you
  Sep 2017 cv
saint
tripping over the uneven tile
i drank till i forgot your name
then drank till i remembered it again
i drank till i felt the rain
your words pouring down on me
i took the blame
you took my heart and i took the shame
call me stupid
call me crazy
call me lame
i hope you’re happy so call me later
call me *****
call me rotten
i hope you’re happy so call me moved on
in the ***** bathroom bar i fell to my knees
i feel the poison in my system
though my drinks aren’t the victim
pump out my stomach and destroy my kidneys
burn my lungs and inject black tar in my blood
a blackened heart with creases im tipsy
two more drinks and im back in that bathroom
i scratch out your name and do a line of *******
numb but not enough
numb but destructive
*** and seduction
love and affection
rejection and injection are synonyms to my reflection

-

in the ***** bathroom bar i scratched your name on the mirror
barely alive and you’re my killer

“what’s your poison?”
paranoia
roses
and your name.
  Sep 2017 cv
Alice Baker
I find you in hidden places
Woven inside me
Like the stitches of a quilt
I am not whole without your memory
Incomplete with what you left
I have built myself around your absence
But you remain.
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