right now there are eleven empty containers of alcohol in my bedroom,
but it's fine, i'm fine.
i've been telling myself for more than a year
that i wasn't going to write anymore sad ****** poems about you,
but here we are.
most days i'm sure i don't miss you,
but then i listen to the wrong song,
and before i know it -
i'm screaming along to band of horses in the dark,
stalking your twitter favorites,
and somehow,
i've managed to get snot on my forehead.
yeah, nostalgia is an *******
but not all the memories sting.
there was that one time we went to the movies
and i slipped on some ice and fell flat on my ***.
i just sat there while you took a picture.
but i'm glad we could laugh about it.
i'm glad we were comfortable.
in my head, we still are.
in my head, we're oversized-goodwill-sweater comfortable.
we aren't as comfortable in real life
but i'm glad we still laugh.
this is the part where i don't bring up the time you told me
my laughter could cure your sadness,
because i'm pretty sure i already put that in another poem,
and it makes me really ******* sad.
did i ever tell you i used to play guitar and piano?
i loved them, but i never tried very hard.
i wanted to be good without having to practice.
i wanted to be good without having to practice.
i wanna meet the girl you write about
so i can ask her how she manages not to love you back.
because i've tried everything & i am so tired.
i forgot this wasn't supposed to be a sad poem.
i'm not good at happy anyway,
i never have been.
but in your absence i've learned a lot about softness.
so if i ever find myself back in your passenger seat,
i won't correct you when you sing the wrong lyrics,
i won't ask why when you take the long way home.
i won't ask you why you don't have your seatbelt on,
i'll just say a silent prayer
and watch for signs that you might be about to swerve.
right now there are eleven empty containers of alcohol in my bedroom,
and i didn't find you at the bottom of a single one.

- m.f.

I am broken glass, causing pain to anyone who comes close enough to try.

I am a scared girl, a woman who is terrified of commitment. I used to see happiness. Now I simply see a bottomless pool and my pockets are filled with rocks as I sink into the blackness.

I used to love so fiercely that it burned holes in our hands and left scars on our lips. Now I run, faster and further and don't stop until the distance between us is a chasm.

If you fall for me be warned. I do not know how to love back. When I hurt you, when I sleep with someone whose name is not yours or I disappear it is not because you weren't good enough. I just don't know how to love back.

He taught me that promises lie and that they will hurt you. It's inevitable.

I will sting you with my words. I will make you ache for my warmth when I turn my back. You'll ask why when you find out I slept around.

Hurting you before you leave. I'm sorry, but it's the only way I know how to survive.

i did the best i could,
for who i was,
at the time.

How do we know when we're in love? Ask yourself the following.

-Does he make you smile?
-Does he make you laugh?
-Do you fall asleep thinking about him?
-Does your heart race when you see him?
-Do you notice his hidden smiles and stolen glances?
-Does he make you happy?

You are not in love
**If you were, you wouldn't  have had to read this to make sure.