I'm so scared
That you won't
Think about me
As you lie awake
Restless
5 years from now
Because I tried
To give you everything
But you
Denied me
And I became
A mere
Nothing
To you

And I say
I'm over you,
I'm over this
But the truth is
You meant
A lot
To me
So I can't
Get over you
As quickly
As I want
Or,
As quickly
As my heart
Needs.

-e.w.

Knowing is always better than not knowing.
                                                        ­                                               Every
                                                           ­                                                      single
                                                          ­                                                                 time.

I don't want to
******* see
pictures of you with your new
girlfriend and "kid".
You didn't know what you
wanted. You got scared that
we
might
be pregnant. So, you run.
Like the ***** you are.
And you go to her.
She broke your heart years ago, she abandoned you when you needed her.
She just had a baby.
You can't even grow up.
And I hate you.
I hate you.
So, don't ******* try to ask me why I
blocked you on facebook.
Because you chose this.
You chose this.
I can't let you keep stomping on my already bruised heart.

If I cut you
out
of
my
life.
Then sorry, but I'm not sorry.

Thank you.
Thank you for teaching me what it is like to love someone and hate that same person at the same ******* time.
Thank you for causing me to sit on my bathroom floor and cry so much that I wish I would just ******* drown.
Thank you for making me feel alive. I felt things for you that I had never felt about any other person before. The thought of losing you kept me awake at night.
Thank you for being the reason that reality was finally much better than my dreams.
Thank you for cancelling our plans so many times that I found out the true meaning of unreliability.
Thank you for showing me that even perfect people have flaws, the cracks in your apologies showed me that even if I didn’t say, “It’s fine,” you wouldn’t have made any effort to fix what you did anyway.
Thank you for showing me what it’s like to give forgiveness and wish I never had, you got away lightly with every ******* thing you did wrong, I wish I had screamed at you so hard about how much you made my heart hurt but I still wouldn’t be able to leave.
Thank you for pulling me in with your false words, “You’re too nice.” I never knew that someone could be “Too nice.” Maybe you just couldn’t handle someone who didn’t have the courage to speak up, I’m sorry you couldn’t read minds.
Thank you for walking past me today, you kept your head down as if you had never stayed up late on the phone to me while you talked about how beautiful our future would be.
Thank you for holding my hand and then never coming near me again, I now know what it’s like to crave something so much it feels like if you don’t have it again you will suffocate.
Thank you for fooling your friends into thinking that you rarely knew me when really I know you more than they do.
I know your secrets, I know how you hate your dad, I know your favorite songs, I know about how you've seen way more than you should of , I know the real you. Don’t act like I don’t exist, a smile or an nod of acknowledgement would be enough to make me feel like this whole experience wasn’t a complete waste of my time. I guess I’m just a new addition to your list of strangers who you think don’t understand, but I know you.

I have forgotten how to
live a life without you
I cant remember a before
and I didn't even
imagine an after
I thought breathing
when I was with you
was difficult
but without you
I am on the verge
of suffocation

I woke up this morning and
all my thoughts
vibrated and repeated and spun.
And an alien had pushed wire into the
center
of my
brain and was stabbing
harder.
And I tried not to panic
And I tried not to think
I remembered how you would get angry
It was just another sign of my craziness, right?
Well, guess what?
This morning, I dealt with it. No panic attack.
By myself