Do you always wonder why people or a certain person stared in your direction ? This was mainly because half the time they couldn't muster up the courage to actually go up to you to engage in something constructive. It’s almost like there’s a taboo or something restricting them from entering the space around you,and just looking at you alone is worth every second, it’s precious almost like a rare egyptian artifact buried and hasn't been seen in centuries ; discovered and restored to a much more preserved and priceless state much more important,delicate and expensive. The thought of seeing you alone causes the person’s entire nervous system to go haywire,all the joints build with pressure,aches and fatigue,the body gets much more tension,sweat builds and runs almost uncontrollably ,which is never convenient. How funny it is they’ll spend hours actually trying to develop a new strategy to make them actually get this much closer to you .
The human’s mind is a very complex and unique system that works and is fueled by simple actions or simple occurrences within the environment.The mind is also affected heavily by emotions as well,our weak minds crumble under the emotional events that we can never seem to actually control and this then leaves us exposed and we can’t protect ourselves from the hurt or heartache we’ll actually receive later on. The truth actually is that we are stubborn and furthermore we don’t actually know when to quit , it’s a trait which is actually admirable but at it’s own expense it is costly;costly mainly because we’ll try and try and try and even though we gave it our all it may still never been enough to actually get that one person to actually notice or appreciate or admire you as you would've liked or hoped ,but we do get some self reward trying ,Right ?

can love ever truly love us?
love itself is such a cruel word,its even a more cruel experience that we as humans face.At times it leaves us damaged beyond repair,broken and in pieces.The experience alone is enough to drive persons beyond damage limitation,enough to even commit suicide.The feeling it leaves is enough to drive a man insane, it often leaves us with second thoughts,regrets,and many questions to be asked.its almost like a spear piercing through us,hitting and puncturing that one vital ***** leaving us defenseless. How do we know if love ever loves us back?And how possible can it actually be ?
We can’t possibly know right ?
Love can’t love us.
We actually can’t tell if love,loves us back. We operate solely on assumption,this assumption is the same thing that keeps us constantly wanting and trying to make it work. How silly we are in our efforts,it’s almost futile,if it ever goes accordingly.We often display a level of persistence and fight to keep something or someone that is dear to us,but it never works out in the long run,which it then ends up becoming a hopeless charge to keep that one thing we hold so close to us.We are mislead in our efforts and we end up losing what little piece of composure and understanding we have left,now we are left torn and broken,with only a small percentage of fight left in us to battle on wards,which then becomes old and tiring as we can no longer cope with what is in front of us and we end up hiding,hiding all our feelings and becoming reserved to the next person who tries to help, because they might hurt us.We become overly protective of oneself to the fact we become everything we were not before ,we become lost.

the truth forced a story that only he and she knows
the struggles and ultimate fights that occur regularly
they seem never content without a little disagreement.
they both craved love ,
although both seem to be lusting for different desires
with different flavors,
and different types of taste.
inescapable turmoil
only to be under the sheets of the same bed every night.

she is the epitome of the perfect woman.
her soul is graceful ,just as her smile
she is electric,
she is elegant,
always drowning herself in her perfume.
but i liked it,
i liked the smell,
i liked her,
i liked her soul,
something i couldn't stop getting enough of,
it was like an addiction,
but without the needles
or smoke
but more of an addiction with her body
and mind.

my fantasizes
haven't even been this remotely close,
to what i laid my eyes on.
she was perfect,
just amazing,
absolutely stunning,
with the perfect shade of skin tone,
and perfect with touch.
a goddess like ***,
with a soul so well developed
and pure
that her soul instantly created a chain reaction with mine
simply breathtaking,
what a piece of "strong black woman"
with gracefulness and individuality
and a "Erykah Badu" style.

how can something that isn't even physical leave bruises that band-aids can't aid, and scars that remain permanent, how is love so damaging?

they lived separated,
but slept in the same bed,
something became lost,
something became stale
but somehow,
someway,
distance only made their love grow even more,
they craved to be in the same bed,
they craved to be one.
they believed they were becoming distant
but that created the foundation,
which formed a new love,
and the distance,
built bridges that allowed for the star crossed lovers to meet,
and when they collided they created love.
or was it love ?
the love they had lasted
only for a night,
they only knew how to lust.

2:00 a.m.
and all i could think of was you,
you were like a recurring image,
constantly on my mental,
toying with my emotions,
while destroying the very foundation
i built to withstand your onslaught
of deception.
2:10 a.m.
i saw her enter my own personal sanctum,
only to be greeted with a warm kiss.
her aroma scented the entirety of the room,
she then slid her body gracefully across mine,
both our spiritually entities met,
we found the ultimate sweet spot,
for spiritual interaction.
2:15 a.m.
i couldn’t quite understand the game she was playing
was it even making love ?
or did she want only something for the moment,
lusting like if there was no tomorrow,
only to ask if i wanted more ?