Rewound
                             [re-‘wow’nd]
Replay

Rewound
                             [re-‘woo’nd]

The mind’s eye a constant projector.
Throwing up memories I would rather forget
How many times does one have to be
*****, rejected and fragged
before the tape fades and breaks
and past events stop projecting my future.

When do I get to see the light?
That pure white light
The light that passes through NO thing.
A blank slate that waits for me
to reinvent and reimage a past

without those memories

The memories that hold my future back
and my present hostage

When will the tape run out
And return to me my life?

When will it return my dreams?
My future?
When will it say “The End?”

01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself

dead bodies floating
in our oceans
from the Asian Pacific
to the Mediterranean

crumpled corpses lying
on our beaches
thousands drowned unknown

overcrowded detention centers
not unlike concentration camps
behind barbed wires
guarded by police and snarling dogs

nobody feels responsible

not  those who started wars
destroyed whole cities
made millions homeless
and into refugees

not those who take advantage
of the chaos for their own gain
abusing the names of their gods
or some ancient figurehead
to excuse their atrocities and greed

not those who live
in comfortable homes
and wish the desperate crowds
would just stay on the TV screen
and not come close

nor those who pretend
to be the guardians
of our great humanitarian heritage
but show no backbone
against nationalist fanatics

it is the shame of the world
to sit and talk and watch
and not do enough

those who turn away
the needy and homeless
could also
      quite suddenly
lose their homes

forced to rely
on the kindness of strangers

You know
I have come to realize that
The people who care
Are easily picked out from
The people that don't.

Maybe the people that don't
Are lying to themselves
And tell themselves they do care
But in reality they don't.

I can tell.
Because when I tell someone

I write poetry.
It's an emotional release for me.
I post the poems on a website.

The people who care
Will actually go and read
My poems.

That's how I know.
I know someone cares.