I shouldn’t be crying
I shouldn’t be missing you.
I shouldn’t be with you
but oh, how I want to.
You shouldn’t be flirting
You know that it’s wrong,
But I know it too,
Yet I still go along.
We shouldn’t be together
We shouldn’t have lied
It’s time to jump off
Of this roller coaster ride.

I hang onto the pieces
Those of what used to be
A relic of the romance
You used to share with me
I hold on to the pictures
Memories of what we had
And thoughts of what could be
That only make me sad
I hold on to the pieces
Because I think I must
Waiting for the relics
To slowly fade to dust

Roses are black,
Violets are black,
Because love is blind
And I want you back.

Roses are black,
Violets are black,
Because love is blind
And I want you back.

Roses are wilted and violets are too
Dying without the light of loving you

Still Roses are black
And lemons are sour
Thinking of you
Every minute, second, and hour

But new roses were planted and sprouting anew
With the newfound freedom
I don't rely on you.

I'm just afraid that your vision is blurred
From the idea that I am exactly like her
You tell me I'm pretty
But are you talking about me?
When you imagine my face
Who do you see?
Your intentions are good
But you come across rotten
Do you know who I am?
Or have you forgotten?

The happiness is scarce
But the tears are plentiful
Stories unwritten
But bound to be pitiful

The happiness is scarce
Joy's rare but pain's common
You see it on the streets
With the crimes and the bombings

The happiness is scarce
A source un-renewable
So we store it for later
And ignore all the beautiful

The happiness is scarce
But we refuse to use it
Maybe that's why
We continue to lose it

The happiness is scarce
But the tears are plentiful
The only way to stop it
Is to make it all wonderful

You know my name but not my spiel
You know how I act but not how I feel
You've seen my mask but not my expression
You haven't seen progress, but you see my digression
You see my smile but not my frown
You haven't seen my world upside down

If you were willing, I'd tell you my spiel..
I'm falling apart.
There. That's how I feel.

Society fears
Us looking in mirrors
And liking what we see
Posting 'selfies' online
Is a narcissistic crime
Because we're not allowed to be
Proud of how we look
'Cause in society's book
Insecurity plus jealousy equals pay
And when we cry
We're likely to buy
And the world wants us that way

It tastes like a disaster
And it smells like a ***** lie
I can feel it in my body
And I can see it in your eye.

Every time I touch you
Or sense your presence near
You tell me that you're sorry
But an excuse is all I hear

*but it all makes sense to me now

Remembering the shadows
The remnants of the light
Because when the sun shines elsewhere
It leaves us here with night.
Remembering the storm
That came after the sun
Because when the sun hides away
We know the day is done
And when the day is finished
The moonlit gems come out
And the shadows cover the people
and darkness grows throughout.

She was afraid
But aren't we all
Afraid that we'll drown
afraid that we'll fall

She was alone
Her, her, and her
In a room that was silent
Where nothing would stir

She was a fool
Dumb and naive
A silly little girl
With her heart on her sleeve

She was a dreamer
You're ****** if you're not
Hope keeps you fighting
...or that's what she thought

She was happy.
Not happy in the way that makes you smile every day
No one smiles every day.
That's what she told herself.

She was happy.
She was happy, or at least, she didn't cry herself to sleep
Not every day, anyway.

She was happy.
She wasn't full of laughter and there was no happy ever after
But she was happy. That's what she told herself.

She was happy
She wasn't completely wrecked, at least not the last time she checked
Maybe she was now, but still.

She was happy.

She was really happy.

She told herself she was happy.

She wasn't happy.

Our river ran dry,
Refusing to flow.
Then the winter approached,
And filled the river with snow.
Then the snow melted,
And the valley eroded,
From the sky came fire,
And our river exploded.
And out of the fire,
Came a tiny little flame,
That dried out the river,
And it started again.

She was the river
And the snow and the fire
She was the passion
And the heat and desire
The water that gives life
Was the water that drowned me
Floating in the river
No dust, no dirt, to ground me
She took my breath away
In the most literal sense
My heart skipped a beat
And then five, and then ten.

I finally escaped from her white-water rapids
But I cannot forget, won’t regret all that happened

Now I’m out of the water, looking back on those days
And I whisper goodbye to the river
and *wave.

They say you've gotta go
Look in their eyes and tell 'em no
The world is not your boss
You are not a fool
Do not let them act cool
Pointing out your flaws
You can beat 'em all
Don't let them make you fall
You're the center of the world
Don't let them put you down
Don't show them your frown
You can be supergirl
*Show them

In sickness and in health
But lately,
Just sickness.

She had red lips like cherries, blood, and wine
He skin was like porcelain; ‘twas white as milk
Pink cheeks like fruit picked freshly from a vine
But smooth like velvet or cashmere or silk

Her hair was soft as it blew in the breeze
This siren’s song called softly like a prayer
She moved so smooth and graceful, full of ease
One second she is here the next she’s there

Her lips kissed mine so calm and sweet and chaste
This beauty like a lily of the Nile
The clock stood still, but somehow still moved fast
She made the whole world melt with just a smile

With eyes a color rainbows can’t define
I love her but I know she won’t be mine

Those purple circles
Under my eyes
Marks of sleeplessness
I can't disguise
Concealer only covers
The layer of skin
But underneath the makeup
There's still weary eyes within
I haven't slept
Not a wink of rest
Ever since you came
And made this mess.
*Sweet Dreams

You're always small
When you're standing by the ocean
But you're still a skipping stone
That can set the sea in motion

You can't end global warming
With the flick of a magic wand
But you still can win a chess game
When your only pieces are pawns

Don’t cry, Darling
You have so many reasons to smile
But it’s okay to feel sad
Just once in a while.
But stick your head up
So we can see your pretty face
And be proud of yourself,
Don’t hide in disgrace
Because everyone loves you
And if they don’t, they’re not worth it
So smile and be happy,
Because Darling, you’re perfect.

He holds me in a cage
Seals it with a lock
Leaves me there to wait
Staring at a clock.
He displays his endless love
The love he has for another
But still leaves me to wait
Believing we love each other
But this is one ended love
His feelings aren't real
Holding me in solitary confinement
Feeding off what I feel

Paint the down blue
Drown it with tears
Crying from pain
Hiding from fears
Trying not to cry
Living to die
Alone and lost
Me, myself, I
Bleeding a river
Crying a sea
I don't want to be here
I don't want to be me

So many things I want to say
He doesn't want to hear
He's miles and miles away from me
But I really need him near.
I see him for who I want him to be,
He sees me for who I am.
So that, of course explains why
He doesn't give a ****.
So many things I wish I'd said
That may have made it right,
But the things that I did say are why,
I cannot sleep at night.
So many things that I regret,
And things he'll never know
So many things I have to hide,
Things I'll never show.
*And it's killing me inside

Sometimes I think there's a thought bubble chasing me
Following me all around.
Sometimes I think there's a ghost that is haunting me
Running me into the ground.
Sometimes I fake that there's no paranoia
That I haven't yet gone insane
But always I know that something is killing me
Eating me alive through my brain.
Sometimes I believe I'm a zombie
A zombie of the shadow of your heart.
Sometimes I fall into your eyes
And it's tearing me slowly apart.

"I'm sorry for being a *****" said I,
A merciful hope and a terrible cry.

A terrible cry, a horrible plead
Wishing that you would concede

It's blatantly not my fault
That you're the one with words of salt

Salt that burns and sizzles and scalds
With the burden that I've hauled

I just wanted you to say
Anything else but "it's okay"

I'm loud because I'm passionate.
I'm loud because I care.
I'm loud because I'm hurting
Accept that.

I'm loud because I want to get it
I want to feel important sometimes.
And if you don't want to hear it
Leave.

The clock will tick on
Turning back its speeding hands
Only speeds it up

I spend all my time with my head in a textbook
My pencil on paper
My mind in the sky
I spend all my time
Countless hours of the night
Using pages of questions
To wipe the tears that I cry

Those tears turn to blood
As the paper cuts sting
As the tongues of the books laugh and jeer
I spend all my time
Cleaning up the mess
That my brain left when it disappeared

Your standards don't define me
Every cloud has a lining
Just sometimes that lining's obscure

I'm not defined
As that blurry grey line
And I will not be ignored.

You’ve always been free
Perfect to me
Like you haven’t a care
As I notice you stare
Deep into my eyes
But still you disguise
The pain and the stress
You’re simply a mess
But always know I understand
You and I could walk hand and hand
If only this love could possibly bloom
Instead the small bud is falling to its doom
But you could make it all okay
So tell me, my love, will you stay?

I peer through the fingers
Covering my eyes
Can’t let you see me crying
But still I can’t disguise
The emotional pain
You’ve bestowed upon me
The emotional agony
That I can’t let you see
Because what you don’t know won’t hurt you
But what you do know will
I know you deserve it
But I can’t let you, still.

The clock doesn't stop ticking
My heart won't stop to beat
I will not stop breathing
Because you stopped being sweet
I won't let you hurt me
This is where it ends
because we're only lying
because we aren't friends
We've always been more
But you didn't know
You were my love
but now you're a foe
*But I'm still alive

Water down the drain
Spiraling and spinning
'Til every drop is gone
Like my patience that is thinning

I know that I complain
I know that I'm obnoxious
I don't know what I want
I just know it is not this

It's not a funny joke
When my sanity's the punchline
Everything is gone
What happened to the sunshine?

*What happened to the sunshine?

Take me back
Take me back
Bring him back to me
A smile that only ever came
In my infancy

Take me back
Take me back
When everything was fine
Take me back to see that smile
Take me back in time

1, 2,3
4 and 5
Come six he has passed
Take me back
Take me back
And make those moments last

Take me back
Take me back
Bring him back to me
Take me back to when we were
A perfect family

Happiness feels brief
Pain feels long lasting
Eating your heart out is easier than fasting

Brevity is refreshing
Longevity is boring
The worst things in life
Are just so alluring.

It's like we ask to taste the pain
We want it; we beg for it
Again
And
Again

To be honest I need you here
I’m tired of hiding from all of my fear
To be honest I’m afraid of what’s true
Hiding from the reasons I‘ve fallen for you
To be honest I got lost in your eyes
trying to hide it, always in disguise
To be honest I need to get away
But I know I’ll rue this day

Tears bleed in early morning, speeding up as they drop.
Tears bleed every night; tears refuse to stop

Tell it to the world,
so what if no one hears?
Shout it out so all the words will slowly disappear.
Don’t you worry,
you are so near!
don’t you hurry
you’re almost here!
waiting for something
that doesn’t exist.
Asking question without answers,
like why, and what if?
Here is your answer
why do you care?
If you don’t let it go
you will end up in despair.

I don't want to go forward
I don't want to go back
But I can't stay here
I know that for a fact.

I just want to go home
Escape the present, the past
Terrified of the future
Coming way too fast.

Confession
Digression
Praying for resurrection
Another life
Another strife
That can't be worse that these stabbing knifes
Of your words
Absurd
When will it fall down, my world?
Been scared
Unprepared
How much longer 'til I'm spared?
Going bad
Increasingly sad
Can I feel that life I once had?

I don't understand
What's going on
Everything fades
Melancholy song
Everything grows
But reality shrinks
And suddenly I care
what everyone thinks
I don't need your opinion
But still I feed off your thought
And slowly go against
Everything I was taught
Now nothing matters
Everything's wrong
When everything fades
To a melancholy song

You used to bring out the best in me, but now you make me worse
I used to think you were a blessing, now you're just a curse.
I reflect on the heart break that I had to endure
Now I suffer from an ache, an ache without a cure.

When poems aren’t poetic
And words become pathetic
And the world is filled with doubt,
The sun begins to fade
and the moon begins to wane
And darkness grows throughout.
That’s the day the world ends.
When art just isn’t art
It slowly kills our hearts
And the world is filled with hate.
The world’s canvas is full
and the colors all grow dull
And there is no more room for paint
That’s the day the world ends
When songs just aren’t sung,
And all the expression is done
And there isn’t time for song,
The life starts to decline
And you just cannot rewind
Everything is wrong.
*That’s the day the world ends

There's strength in simplicity
Pain in duplicity
Terror in this city
That burns to the ground

There's power in numbers
Of trees burning, lumber
A lion in his slumber still knows how to growl.

It's all so wrong
but it feels so right
but it really needs to stop.
Because the balloon is filling
bigger and bigger,
And soon it's gonna pop.
It's all so wrong
but it feels like I'm flying
soaring in the sky,
The balloon is filling
bigger and bigger,
Bigger than you and I.
It's all so wrong
but it feels so good
like nothing can stop me now
but the balloon is filling
bigger and bigger.
I need to stop it, but I don't know how.
*It just feels so right

She can't find the fire to fight
She can't find the love in her heart
She cannot win the battle
She's been fighting from the start

There's one single thought that has plagued me every night since summer began to end
Every night since I felt the ghost of freshman year
Breathing down my neck
And promising that nothing will change this year
This thought haunts me like a vengeful spirit
Trying to break me down even though it knows
I'm still broken from last year
And I can't be put back together
The one thing that constantly beats me up
Is knowing that school is approaching and I
Can't ever stop it
Because there is no way out
Even when it becomes too much and I forget how to breathe
Anxiety that chokes me until I can't even ask for help or beg for mercy
And maybe, just maybe they'll let me out
And I can go home and pretend that I'm not alive
But it's only for a day
Because when that's over
The
      Bell
            Tolls    
                   Again

My favorite landmark
That wooden star
The perfect place to be who we are
As the trembling bus passes
On the beautiful path
Left at the entrance
Our fear and our wrath
We haven't a worry
We need not to stress
Of all places on earth
This here place is the best

It's all just too hard
Always dealt a bad hand
Never get the right card
But you won't understand
No matter how I try
I still get it wrong
A I don't know why
I don't know what's going on
But I know that it's real
This is my now
I need to change how I feel
I just don't know how

Give me an explanation
But don't tell me how I feel
Tell me that you love me
I already know what's real
Tell me who you are
I know who I am
You try and try to get it
But you'll never understand
I don't need someone
To give me definitions
As I travel along
On this crooked expedition