intoxicated
from the soft touch
of your lips

infatuated
from the way your hands
intertwine perfectly with mine

hypnotized
by the smell of musty cologne
that your clothes drown in

how sad, that your memory

is my addiction

I listened to the album we used to listen to for the first time in years.
Hard to admit, but my eyes burned a little
Trying to hold tears back.
I can still remember the smell of your car,
A mixture of those tree shaped fresheners
Cherry, new car, pine
And cigarettes that "weren't yours"

"You can shut it down, down, down..."
This was my favorite song, I think it was yours too.
This is the one that brings it all back.

These lyrics were stupid and sounded forced,
But we gave them some meaning, I suppose.
I hadn't listened to them since the day that you left
I think the CD was still in your car when they brought to the junk yard.
It all happened too soon.

It's weird.

In high school you feel invincible.
And I know that everyone says that but I didn't realize until after.
We didn't have any plans for the future and we didn't care,
All of us.
We thought things would stay good forever.
And then nothing was the same.
All we really have left are our memories,
Not even the CD survived.

Haha.

Which  hand is the penny in?
I think I'd like to be tricked again
Once more silver eye
I seldom sense it in your sigh
Oxygen conversion is your diversion

I hear the horns against the cliff
A moon familiar crescent slips
Silently from the sea
Are you..
Are you quite alone?

I feel the frost on my bones
Memories split the northern sky
The stars call me
A glow like fire I have known
Caught upon the web of words
I remain
Listening Night

Tangled in the hair of you
I sniff war smoke
You do not waver
I do not
Tightening the knot

Blood I wish to not know you
Pouring perfume round nostrils
Flared
Jaw so clenched
Pulse
I taste your presence in my throat

Blood drunk among the fray
Or curled warm among the furs
That night before the sea
I dream of it

Plunging under the surface,
Swallowing water I won't cough up.
Choking underneath.

The sun beams down onto the surface,
It smiles at me, the most brilliant smile.

"I'm ready."

Reflections flicker like quick flashes of pictures
Of myself as a small child,
Carving pumpkins on the kitchen floor with my mother.
Snorting and laughing,
"Mommy, you're so funny!"
This is all I can think of.

The trees look down on me, disappointed, I can see it.
They wave goodbye to me in the warm summer breeze,
So full of life.

"I'm ready."

The pain in my chest is slowly disappearing.
My head is full of endless possibilities, but no remorse.
I'm surrounded by a glimmer, circling my body.
It's so happy, it's dancing for me.

"I'm ready."

And I can't see anymore,
I am just left with my final thoughts.
But I know in my soul,
It will be beautiful, wherever it is.
Whenever I get there, sooner or later.
A blast of sun shining through my broken spirit.

**"I'm ready."

I live the life of a metaphor
Leaking out of stolen pens
I've been carved on pieces of wood
And people still interpret me differently
I choose to remain indestructible
My worth fluctuates with the readers taste
I make a difference in some places
I might just go unnoticed
Like a wilted rose and it's bleeding petals
Lying behind the window pane
I represent the spectrum
In the gray tinted universe
I'm forced into the anecdotes
In places I don't want to be
Creating a dark impression
Like a mirror in front of the wall
Mocking at its own reflection.

You
Brought me
In blood and tears
You yourself but a child-
Into this world.
From a distance
You watched
As I grew.
First a whelp,
Now a wolf.
You
**** yourself
With every inhale
Of that odorless
Drug
And here I am
Helpless
Watching you die....
Just as
You watched me grow
Not long ago....