Im pulling the better version of myself
from out beneath the wreckage.
He was stuck in the wall until It fell
and crumbled with its message:

“ We-Dream-Till-Wake”

For years I’d stared at it knowing
it was bleak and dark presage.
I thought I knew, and knew too well,
so I never let my mind start guessing:

“ Maybe this is a lesson? Maybe a problem?”

But I just carried on through, stayed
true to myself with an honest belief
that within you and me was purpose,
and to my noisy head it gave some relief.

But at times I could hardly breathe;
This world can choke you against the wall,
It can crush you as you are forced to
hold its weight while in its circles you crawl,

And when you fall and your on your knees
and your beliefs are like bubbles popping,
And when your heart beats through your
chest like its building up to stopping,

And when your minds been abandoned
and your thoughts are left and rotting,
and every rush of blood feels thick
and visceral like its gone stuck and clotting,

Thats when that voice whispers in your
ear and quietly begins his plotting:

“  Let me take you from this fallen world
   and fall just that little bit further.
   Give in to sin, give in to deciet, give in to
   me- to be free is to be a server.
   You were not meant for truth or virtue,
   You were not meant to be a studious learner,
   You were meant to walk with chains.
   You were meant to accept this pain”

And I swear I started listening intently
to this charming and confident speaker.  
His words like a breeze breathing gently
through my busy head to make it weaker.  

I’d never lived in fear of life or in fear of the reaper
but I feared persisting, existing in this torment.  
My head often heats in a hopeless hollow fever
And I needed an escape, to obey and lay dormant

beneath her- My love and long lost reason,
my absolute zero in a world I couldn’t figure.
But I couldn’t even remember the soft curves
of her face, they would always twist and disfigure,

Her skin would slide off her bones, her eyes
would sink into her head to avoid my stare.
I was turning her lakes into pools of oil,
making twisted fantasies out of her every prayer.

I didn’t belong with her anymore, I was sick.
I couldn't turn moments int marvels for her,
I couldn’t find any beauty in our spinning,
All I could see was decay as we would blur,

All I could see were devils swimming in my
ageing reflections jaded and sad eyes.
All I could feel was myself slowly sinking,
All I could hear was my faiths dying drowned cries.

All I could smell was our peoples flesh burning,
and thats when I really started learning:

There is no Angel that will lift me from here,
Nor is there a devil thats dragging me down.
What pushes me under is my own fear,
Heaven and Hell are in between both my ears.  

So I spun myself ten times to be free’d
from the prison in which I had built the bars.
I rose from the soils of my love and land,
to smell freshly cut grass and gaze at stars,

They say writing it down
won't help.
And it don't help to down
pints of it.
And it don't help to spin it
helplessly.

This self-help selfishness
don't help.

Heller told me I could live forever
                                 or die trying.  
Despot told me I could be rich
or try dying.  

Life’s a lie but it’s when you try
and pursue truth that you fly the coop.  

But what do I know eh?

My head is just a borrowed mess
And I’m just a high liar, dire trier
                tried too much again.

All my friends are strangers
who’s behaviours vary,
scary times indeed, indeed.  

I’ll pick apart their heads and feed,
and I’ll  be there for them when they need.  
I’ll quench my thirst upon their tears
although its bitter in its taste.
I’ll force them to face their filth and fears,
and alongside them I will waste.

This world is lonely if it’s only you.

For we’re all just spinning madly off
and I’d gladly stop if someone else would.
Our problems are reversed- no **** for a ***.
Our tongues and wit are dim lit and crude.

Stop stopping me from stopping things from starting!

I took my devils out and broke
their hearts. Took them out for
dinner and watched them starve

Feast on your beasts.
Feast on your beasts.
Feast on your beasts

Till deaths done its part and parted us.

Torn apart at the shoulders, rolled heads
like boulders. Hold her head till the end
                   till its breathless and colder.

The last devil sat down with me civil
and said that she was fasting anyway.
So I ate my dinner- she watched, then paid.  

Feast on your beasts.
Feast on your beasts.
Feast on your beasts.

A rotten little written thought walks across and of my page before my eyes. As I am speaking to you now he walks with a whispering little shadow that mistakes his place and purpose,a cold and cowardly projection of words. But this is what I throw at you each and everyday- I throw the better half of my head, I throw my tongue, my lungs and my every hope and hate filled accusation. I toss begging questions until I’m tired of having to answer them on my own.
I am finding it a lot harder not to be alone.
It’s interesting to see what your head looks like when its spilled out across a hollow blue light- a cold computer’s stare. I do not wield a pen, my thoughts don't talk in ink. They remain in the memory of a busy little computer. They sit their among music and photographs and videos of friends, yet exist without them and unable to interact. They dwell alone until they turn rotten and walk up and off their page.  
I apologise if sometimes they offend or intrude, or if sometimes they take things without asking permission and lie about it afterwards, but they are only just finding their way so please show some compassion whenever your paths cross.

The neighbours never took any notice
of his silence although it spoke loud.  
He was a man shrouded in mystery-
not a part of anyones history, he blissfully
existed, persistently kept to his own space
distantly. “ Did you miss me?” he asked
his greyhound the same day he was found
dead- his dog didn’t reply, so he put a bullet
straight through his empty head and on his
corpse the dog fed for two weeks before
the smell reeked and leaked up stairs
and half the neighbours fled instead of
calling the police. But there is only weeks
left on his lees and soon the landlord will come
to collect his overdue fee’s:

Now he arrives with a knock on the door.
Something isn’t right of this he is sure.

But it’s just another case of Dennistoun Door’

This time, this time

it doesn’t feel like he’s mine.

This time, this time

he walks without a spine.

Straight through your mind

to tangle thoughts into winds.  



This time this time

it doesn’t feel like he’s mine.

This time, this time

he walks without a spine.

Straight through your mind

to tangle thoughts into winds



and as you heartbeat falls behind

you find he’s ticking on without a care.

He’s everywhere, anything and many

things even I  wouldn’t dare to dream of.



Each is lost to his taking

Even when clocks hands

are braking or the earth is shaking.

Our fathers rather impatient.



And in that spirit I’m not waiting



To Catch And To **** Time.



Some will follow the projections

of a hollow blue light.

Others run without direction-

off into the black night.  



To catch and to **** time,

Detach his head,

rip out his spine

sending him wandering

as clueless as us.



Whats next? Whats up ahead?

Whats round the bend?

Have I got another minute

or is there just a second to lend.