I walked out to my car this morning,
and it started right up

My hair, still wet from the shower
is still full and covering my head

I've got new framed pictures to hang,
and clean sheets on the bed

Work was alright, I guess, I don't
hate my job but I hate the idea

that we work for old paper to trade
for bright shiny things that always
seem to lose their glimmer

I've finally got a good woman
in my life who whispers to my heart
and knows what to say to chase
away the dark.

Every kiss on my cheek, every bite
of dinner, every time I feel alone
I reach over and take her hand in mine
and know that the day needs the night.

I have love, health, a paycheck, and the
freedom to drive until the tank is empty

True, there are still things that I want,
but don't need, and things I need

that were taken from me, like my son,
his first words and his first stumblings
in this world

But every day passed is another conquered,
another reason to keep moving
forward

When you've seen as many sunsets and
broken hearts as I have
You are used to the fact that
the sun returns,
love is real,
and life is beautiful.
even on the old, *****
rainy days.

I'll never go back,
left a trail of gasoline
and dropped a lit match

Sitting on the river bank,
and watching rapids flow
A bird lands for a peaceful drink
But little does he know
The flood is coming soon
And it will swallow up the town
The high tides from the moon
Will soon cause us all to drown

The clouds are swarming in
And they're puffing up their fluff
All their faces slowly grin
As they're trying to look tough
I watch the water as it dumps
And stare impressed as it all pours
As my blue mascara clumps
And the liquid cleans my sores

Now the water level heightens
to a point where I can't breathe
All the animals look frightened
as I'm feeling so relieved
While I'm cleansed within the rapids
I can feel my body break
I'm no longer vain or vapid
I'm now part of every lake

And I cry beneath the water
as the earth is only blue
I was this planet's last daughter
And the ******* ate me, too...

Alarm
goes off,
cup of coffee

Cigarette,
back porch,
before fighting traffic,

Work,
Work, Work
9:30 to 6:30

Dinner,
watch movies
or write poetry

Seems fulfilling enough
I can't complain

I guess it's time to reveal the truth,
It's not like I've been lying to you

but I haven't really formally introduced
myself to you, and I've been thinking

It's time to let you in so I can offer
you a cigarette and you can

drink my finest wine while I tell you
that Grizzo is something more

than a childhood nickname that stuck
to the bottom of my shoes like

parking lot gum, or your grandmother's
lipstick on your cheeks, you see

I was quiet, shy, and entering puberty
when people started calling me Grizzo

Some people in high school and college
didn't even know Bryan

Which is funny because I didn't know
myself either but I knew Grizzo

mainly because people expect certain
things and I keep my word

so when I told them I would jump
off the roof, they just stood around

drunk, but not as drunk as me,
No one expects to see Crazy in action

But at least once they do they never
forget the time you jumped off the roof

and hit the ground at 3 in the morning
so hard that your glasses flew off

and the only thing you broke
was your pride, or how you would

always answer everything with "**** it"
because if life ***** you might as well

get your nut too

Camel Crush Bold cigarettes in an ashtray
and Jameson on ice with a splash of water

These things can help the words on
late nights or lazy afternoons

Sometimes the best lunch is
a tapped Porter or Stout on special

and putting down a few lines
on crumbled bar room napkins

This is his old habit, this is how
he needs to come out from time to
time

Grizzo isn't all ***** and giggles
though because as much as I want

to be tough, be a hard ***, always be right
I'm weak, I'm fragile, and so ******* wrong

about all the things you need to be right
about in life, but I'm turning 29 soon

and I think I'm finally starting to get

why the light needs darkness to shine
why love needs hate to thrive,
why Bryan needs Grizzo to write.

Peace,
Quiet,
Love,

these abstract things that guide
us through our lives,

We all want them in one way
or another,

A steady paycheck,
A backyard,
A soul mate,

those concrete things that justify
our suffering & strife,

We all want them in one way
or another,

We think

Maybe Love will carry us away,
Maybe it will answer our questions,
Maybe happiness is the root of Love

So we keep digging
and we find something different

Or maybe we keep digging
and we never stop

and fool ourselves into thinking
the fruit is the labor, and this is
"What we gotta do"

or we never find what we want

or we find what we need and say
"Whatever."

And then we **** all the happiness
we can from what's found
and we bury it deeper, leaving
what's left for someone else

Meanwhile, the world turns
full of war,
full of noise,
Alone because there's
nothing like it for
millions and millions
of miles

But that's not me,
That's not "Us",

Whatever.