I found myself searching for something that was out of my control. I forced myself to become vulnerable, trying to find someone who would fill this empty space in my heart. After months of wandering through life without someone to call mine,  I had finally realized the person I had been longing for had been in front of me this whole time.

It was the beginning of something but what that something was I am still waiting to find out. Could it be the sleepless nights of wondering if you're thinking about me the way I am thinking about you? Could it be the start of a relationship? These thoughts consume me and you're probably living your life like those little moments that we had didn't happen.  I still don't know and I don't think you do either.

I don't know you but I want to

I am in a place that is full of all the other lost lovers.
A place with only one hope, the hope of finally being loved back.

I want you
I want you to hold my hand and show the world I'm yours.
I want you to brush my curly hair out of my face.
I want you to smile at me with love.
I want you to look at me as if I was the only girl in the world.
I want you to hold my face with your hands.
I want to meet your family.
I want you to meet mine.
I want to have rainy days with you.
I want to cuddle and share thoughts.
I want you to want me.
But you're taken.

You saw past all my imperfections and flaws
but when I looked at you, that was all I saw
I was too focused on the small details that I couldn't get past them
I gave up on us while you were holding us together like a stem
holds up the petals of a flower even when it is dying
Awaiting its resurrection
but sadly admitting acceptance

At the end of the day I feel so alone
Bitterness sweeps through my body
as people that have let me down and
plans that have fallen short upon expectations
appear in my thoughts and linger until I fall asleep
I go through the same motions everyday
wondering when the cycle will end