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Nov 2013 · 741
Perfectly Enamored
Brianna Nov 2013
You're like my favorite flower...
I could look at you all day and you'd just get better each second.
You're like the rain on a sunny day...
It sounds so sad but it's the freshest break in summer.
You're the perfect memory; the one I'll never forget nor want to lose.
I could go on for days about your handsomeness and even your flaws and it still wouldn't be enough to describe....
How perfectly suited we are for each other or
How perfectly enamored with every single piece of you I am...
Nov 2013 · 653
Finally at ease
Brianna Nov 2013
It felt something like falling off your bed in the middle of the night
You just wake up not quite sure what happened.
I woke up in the hospital.
They asked me if I knew where I was and what happened to me
I said I couldn't recall exactly what happened
But I thought I had an idea.
They said you tried to **** yourself again last night your roommate found you
She called 911 said there was a lot of blood
I guess I saw that coming.
It felt sort of like a dream I told the therapist later that week...
I felt like all the stress just vanished!
I was finally at peace.
He told me life was hard and it would only get harder and asked if I would do it again?
I wasn't sure how to answer him
Honestly, I probably would.
Nov 2013 · 940
What happened?
Brianna Nov 2013
Simplicity* was never our strong suit... We fought all the time.
It was always over the little things-- the wrong dish detergent, laundry, life?
Couples fight, sure, and love was supposed to be able to heal that but what happens when love is not enough?
What happens when your heart leans in one direction and his already flew off to the other side of the country?
Timing* was never our thing... We always fell in love at the wrong time...
It was always a battle with you -- I didn't love you enough or you didn't love me and it was exhausting..
You were so exhausting.
Because you had to have things perfect right?
Like those fairytales... Except sweetie, you're not a prince and you've lost that charm.
I'm also not a princess and I make mistakes... I make them regularly..
And so I asked you, what happens when love isn't enough to heal this heartbreak?
*You walked away.
Nov 2013 · 1.2k
Dancing Shoes
Brianna Nov 2013
I'll meet you down by the water lets meet around two.
I'll bring some old records and you just bring your dancing shoes.
We can dress fancy and drink some old cheap wine.
Talk about the better days when we were happy all the time.
We can slow dance to old tunes laughing at words that aren't said anymore.
Then we can go home to sleep and I'll watch you, like a creep, hoping you don't snore.
In the morning I'll kiss you hoping you'll kiss me back...
And you'll put your finger though my hair while you kiss me and we'll restart that record from our favorite track.
The days will pass by just you and I.
And you ask that question that makes every girl cry...
And I'll meet you at the alter, wearing nothing but white...
I'll say I do as you hold my hand so tight.
Nov 2013 · 1.1k
Dear supervisor,
Brianna Nov 2013
The truth is...
I simply want to kiss you as hard
As passionate
As obscene
As I possibly can...
Just to see if there is any....
Connection.
The truth is....
I just want you to tell me
That you want to feel the same
Connection...
I like the supervisor at my work.
He's nice and cute and listens to ****** indie music that Is intriguing. But I can't tell him because  he is a supervisor.
Ugh.
Nov 2013 · 1.5k
Hipster Scumbag Awkward
Brianna Nov 2013
It could have been the cigarette hanging from your perfect lips that have me goosebumps or it could have been your jet black hair slicked back in a pompadour style only hipster kids have these days... Not sure really but it sent shivers down my body.
You were the type of boy who liked to drink whiskey and had neck tattoos & I was the type of girl who was more awkward than a turtle.
You had this mystery about you under those dark sunglasses and you were so tall & sleek in that red flannel and black jeans... You were so ... hot
I had this problem where I would just stare until you looked over, which you did, and in turn I would look away blushing with shame.
I took one glance back as I started to walk away and saw you grinning this huge grin with your pearly white teeth and septum ring touching your upper lip.. Pretty sure my heart melted.
You were the guy I had dreamed about at night and I didn't even know your name of course.
Who was I kidding? We would never see each other again.
Nov 2013 · 660
Dancing around the Truth
Brianna Nov 2013
I fell in love with the last drop of that bottle of wine you ... It was the nicest gift you ever gave me.
I fell in love with the boy I used to date right after you stopped talking to me... Or so I told you.. Truth is I have loved him all along...
You brought me down to my lowest point but now I'm bringing myself up alone.
See he didn't love me as much as I loved him and I didn't love you like you thought I did.
All those lies you told were just a great way to show me what an ******* I really am... Thanks for that!
And it's okay now.. Because it been a year since you & I talked and it's been since July since he and I talked and I guess... I guess I was just dancing around the truth.
You both were bad news... And I let my walls break with you guys... But now I'm getting them re built with more strength than before.
I am worth more than some ****** *** and a kiss in the morning.
I am worth more than false promises of marriage and happiness.
I am worth more than my self doubt tells me I am.
I guess I just want to say thanks to you both for showing me a few things I needed to know about my self.
Just about two boys who broke me down to my lowest point. Also trying to  bring myself back to positive again...
Brianna Nov 2013
There are bruises surrounding my the place my heart used to be and I'm blue in the face from holding my breath.
We played hide and seek with our emotions till you caught be red handed on your bed waiting for you like I always do.... Just waiting...
Counting backwards from ten I breathed in and breathed out just to hear you say nothing at all when you should have said more.
You're leaving me and ignoring our problems like you always do and I ask why can't you just work things out like normal people do?
We lost our minds and I'm scared this is the last time we will play this game and I just can't sleep anymore.
You're hiding still from how you feel because emotions are a weakness to you but it takes more strength in a person to be honest to me...
You held my heart hostage and cut out my heart just to hear me tell you I am yours and only yours... Then you let me go so easily...
Leaving me with bruises where my heart used to be...
Brianna Nov 2013
I wanted to **** time with you until my head spun around and around with dizziness that you make me feel.
But by the end of the night we sat awkward and drunk counting the minutes till sunrise when I could sober myself up to drive home...
You said you no longer wanted to be alive.
I told you you were just drunk and I loved you.
You yelled at me from across the table asking so many questions I couldn't answer and I just cried.
Because I loved you so much... And I wish I could give you a mirror to show you how I enamored every single piece of you.
And I would write you letters every day telling you how amazing you are in every way.
I would kiss you every hour, every second of the day if it would bring you out of this funk.
Instead we sat at your dining room table staring at each other with sadness and fear... Drunk and reminiscing the better days... Eating Mac n cheese...
I will love you till the day I die and beyond.. As pathetic as it may seem.
Nov 2013 · 333
Just so you know...
Brianna Nov 2013
I just wanted to let you know..
That you're beautiful.
And I know that's something boys say to girls but
I never followed the rules before
Why start now?
I just wanted to let you know ...
You make me smile.
Like a little kid opening gifts on Christmas
You make me giddy and silly.
I just want you to know...
They you broke my heart.
An I'm not holding it against you anymore
Because they said  I shouldn't
Hold a grudge.
I just wanted you to know...
I do still love you.
But I hope you will find someone to make you
As happy as you once
Made me.
Oh love. Such silly terrible emotions sometimes.
Nov 2013 · 288
On a side note...
Brianna Nov 2013
I like you enough
To let you
Keep talking ****
About me...
Because the funny part
Is that
I
Can't stand myself anyways.
How sad
I
Have
Become.
How terrible you just made
Yourself
Look.
Nov 2013 · 622
The game of love
Brianna Nov 2013
She danced over waterfalls with the moonlight making her milky skin glow.
Singing the night sing she spread her wings and burst into the flames of the Phoenix being reborn into beauty.
Morning came to early and her eyes held a tiny bit of sadness but she kept dancing through the golden rays.
Love was her name and madness was her favorite game.
Russian roulette never stood a chance against her and her gun.
As the night fell making way for a new time, a new day, she smiled on and held her head higher then the moon and the sun.
Love was the one.
Nov 2013 · 1.2k
Beautifully Flawed
Brianna Nov 2013
I like to surround myself with beautiful people who hate themselves.
I find their beauty as they dig deep claws into tier tiny flaws pulling out only blood and tissue that create their flawless scars.
Is it shallow that I only like beautiful people?
I don't think so no.
Because who says what's beautiful and what's not beautiful?
Who I think is gorgeous and flawless you may find hideous and unattractive but that will never change my mind.
I surround myself with people I want things from... Because I think I am, myself, that hideous monster you speak of.
I see fat and disgust.
I see self hatred and lost dreams.
I see lack of motivation with no will power.
I see a lonely girl who can't find love of course because she doesn't love herself.
And yet I hear people say I'm beautiful & pretty & wonderful and I can't help but wonder....

Maybe surrounding myself with "beautiful" people is a shallow, awful thing to say....
We are all uniquely gorgeous
In one way or
Another.
What a week... So much self hatred... Trying to stay positive when I'm so far from that goal... I'm trying.,
Nov 2013 · 1.4k
I do
Brianna Nov 2013
He smelled like peppermint in the middle of Christmas with those frosty hands he tried to hold tightly to my body hidden under layers of old sweaters.
He handed me a cup of steaming hot coco and kissed my red frozen nose and we watched the snow fall outside our window laughing as  it fogged up when our breath touched it.
There was nothing but love in the air that morning we awoke under mistletoe and stockings were hung.
He handed me that little red box and he said
"I know what you expect but don't be sad when it's not there... this meant more to me than a simple ring"
I opened that little red box with anticipation racing through my veins... and inside was the sweetest love letter I've ever received...

Darling, you're more than the moon
you're more then the heavens above.
You're the sun that shines down in the summer day.
You're the happiness I feel when there is nothing to say.
You're the only reason I would ever cry...
and that would be the day that we die.
You're the legs to my chair, without you'd fall straight down.
And you're the emptiness I feel when you're not around...
So now I will ask what you've been dying to hear..
Will you marry me?"


With tears shining in my eyes like the ornaments on our luscious green tree... I looked over to my one and my only and nodded and said I Do.
Just as he pulled out the most beautiful ring.
Nov 2013 · 312
Alone in the night
Brianna Nov 2013
I feel solace in the morning driving to get a warm overpriced coffee just to feel awake enough to make it through the day I have waiting ahead.
I find comfort driving alone in the morning cold and frosty; alone with only my thoughts singing louder than the songs on the radio.
But when I'm alone in my room in the middle of the night I cringe at my memories that pour through like the rain outside.
             We all know what it's like to be alone.
      We all know how heartbreak feels.
We all know the pain of falling in love....
It's always at night when there is nothing but me and my thoughts... That's when I feel the most alone...
Nov 2013 · 965
Watercolor Lover
Brianna Nov 2013
Paint me the sunrise
Full of reds, pinks, and purples
Wih light clouds shaping the mountains hidden behind the rising suns glare as we drive towards the next adventure.
Yes.. Paint me a sunrise full of harmony
And watch as I fall head over heels
Beyond Madly in love
With nothing but
You.
Nov 2013 · 1.0k
Extra virgin olive oil
Brianna Nov 2013
Extra ****** olive oil was never the issue when you got back from that grocery store... You just couldn't see past the obvious.
Do you know what it's like to wake up screaming in terror?
Have you ever felt the need to just take the pain to all levels of intensities to just feel alive?
Have you ever just said... All I need is one more day to change this life... Just one more day that turned into years of self hatred?
No.. Cause I don't think you know what it's like to be full of harmful emotions like I do.
My conscience drips with self disgust that this alcohol can't hide anymore.
My wrists are full of scars I can't keep hidden with fancy blouses anymore.
My mouth is full of words that won't stay quiet, words that would chill your bones...
No.. It was never that extra ****** olive oil  you bought that day that set me off...
Pierce the veil & boys night out helped with my train of thought
Nov 2013 · 1.7k
Not afraid anymore
Brianna Nov 2013
Old friends and broken memories
Filled with lyrics from pop punk and ******* bands.
I'm swaying in the wind with thoughts of distant lands and far away places with no one who knows me.
I'm not afraid anymore.
I'm not worried about being alone anymore.
Please forgive me in the end.
Nov 2013 · 563
Stop crying
Brianna Nov 2013
I can't catch my breath I keep yelling at the mirror about now angry I am.
Tears flow down my face like rivers in the mountains we used to hike in.
WHY I scream just tell me WHY.
PLEASE I cry please just tell me you are joking!
I am sick of the lies people tell when they can't stand the fact they know they are wrong.
I can't stop the two faces people who pretend they love me just as much.
It's getting cold and my heart is freezing over just like the ice on the road.
And hopefully I drive safe enough before I spin completely out of control.
And hopefully the ice melts fast enough before I can't feel my toes.  
Anger floods my eyes with hot quick flashes of fury I know I'm getting over you.
Pain settles in but it's all going to be okay once I stop ******* crying.
Nov 2013 · 1.5k
Old blankets & open fires
Brianna Nov 2013
Sing to me when the wind blows so she can carry your tune back home-
Breathe the open air from a top the mountains that sit like kings waiting for a cup of tea-
You look so beautiful covered in gold; royal and daring as you make your commands.
And as I, a noble peasant, am who i am your wish is my command-
When winter sends her chills towards my summer heart I hope you'll keep me warm-
I hope you'll grab my hand or kiss my lips as we sip hot coco next to the open fire-
I miss the autumn colors and the way they flowed so nicely with your sky blue eyes-
It's that time of year again when people kiss under mistletoe and love under Christmas lights-
And as I sit alone wrapped in an old blanket and your sweater... I hope you're the happiest you've ever been-
Nov 2013 · 534
I would if you would
Brianna Nov 2013
I'd stay a month or maybe two.
I'd count to three and always wait for you.
I'd speak in riddles just to see you laugh again.
I'd kiss your lips if it would help us win.
You loved me more than I loved you.
You held my hand from ups and downs and all the way through.
Those green eyes the way they lie.
Those white teeth the way they would smile.
I'd bring the moon to your window every night.
I'd bring you the stars and tuck you in tight.
You're the sun to my shine.
Your the song to my rhyme.
I'd apologize for not loving you more...
If I knew you'd come back through my door....
Nov 2013 · 368
Goodbye to Sunshine
Brianna Nov 2013
You said goodbye this morning as the dew was still on the flowers we planted outside.
I tried to see the black and white but all I saw were the shades of grey hidden in those blue eyes.
The wind danced along the tree tops and the birds sang the sad song of you leaving.
You had gold etched all over your tan skin and I remember the warmth you radiated all the time.
I was so cold.
I was so lonely.
It's funny I spent so long trying to find the simpleness in our relationship that I forgot to keep up with the challenge.
And you spent so long trying to keep me entertained you forgot why you loved me.
We were lost in the forever but we were lost alone.
We were in love with the then.... Forgetting the now.
You said goodbye this morning when the skies cried along my side
Why is it so hard to stop loving someone when they don't love you anymore?
Nov 2013 · 684
Dwelling on the Past
Brianna Nov 2013
It's high tide and rising sending me signs it's once again time to escape.
I had to follow the beating muscle in my chest.
I talk a lot and I dream more than that; it makes people scared.
I don't need to rely on someone for love; but I so love love.
I am losing people I once called my friends due to their lack of faith in themselves.
I refuse to stand up for any of you any longer.
I'm taking the high roads to avoid the flooding waters below... And oh the beauty up here is grand.
As I wander, hoping to get lost soon, I see the autumn colors, the winter blues, the spring blooming, and summers dry heat.
I am on my own adventure and for once I feel the peace I've been dreaming of.
I've said out with your negativity and back in with the positivity I once felt a longtime ago.
And I ask but one thing of you...

Don't dwell on the sadness as long as I did for it will drown you before you can ask for help...
Nov 2013 · 653
Captivate me dear Sea
Brianna Nov 2013
I ran across the open sea holding tightly to the flames that lit the inside of my palms. I fought the giant sea monsters who were lords to the dark abyss I found myself in love with.. I overly obsess about drowning in the sea. You wore a white robe with gold etched Into the palms of your light colored hands.. You held them to me begging for me to let you in...
But I ran across the raging waters that kept me hostage mentally and physically. I let the ocean take my heart and fill my lungs with painful salt water. I let myself fall into the trap of the raw beauty above the waters not fully understanding the rage below. I let you float away as I let myself drown. I let my fire burn out while your gold etched skin stayed bright and beautiful till the end of time..
And I let the sea take me captive for the last time.
Nov 2013 · 838
Brutally alone
Brianna Nov 2013
Clever words are for clever people.
I just want the ocean near me to drown my pain.
I want city sounds to drown the voices telling me to die.
I want the green trees to show me the beauty I can't find in this desert town.
Silence never comes fast enough...
My honest mouth is going to get me in trouble.
Brianna Nov 2013
I see you at the drive through with that silly bow tie & I don't get tongue tied because I don't know you and I told everyone I think you're interestingly cute not on a *******'re so hot shallow way but unique.  I don't know you & I'm not infatuated with you I just find you interesting.
It's cold outside I can tell winter is sadly making it's way in this desert town and I have to warm my car up in the morning... What a drag.
I'm lost right now I just want to spill my guts out to some random person about my life and I hope they can make sense of how completely confused I am... I think this Is a journal entry rather than a poem.
My best friend and I aren't speaking & I got so drunk I texted the boy I'm madly in love with twice in the most pathetic fashion and woke up with a hangover and some shame and drove over to Starbucks walked inside to see the guy with that silly bowtie.

I have to get out of Reno.
I need a fresh start so bad. Somewhere where people don't know my name
Nov 2013 · 1.0k
My best friend
Brianna Nov 2013
I remember photoshoots in my room making my parents take our pictures. I remember late nights conversations about cute boys & stupid friends. I remember passing notes & walking through the halls of high school.
See I remember you before you were on these anti anxiety depression medication. Before you decided you needed them to get by in life and I told you I. Understood. I said I still had your back no matter what.
Now you're a different person.
Now you lie about being so in love and so happy.
I try and tell you to get off those pills but you won't listen.
And so I ask... What happened to my best friend?
What happened to the carefree girl who went on adventures?
And I ask... If you're so happy why are you still taking those pills crying at night?
I miss my best friend.
I miss how you used to be now you're just so different.
Nov 2013 · 627
When the lights go out
Brianna Nov 2013
When the lights go out your voice fills my ears as you whisper how much you can't stand who I've become-
You told me once I needed to get my **** together and I laughed it off because I had no idea what to say-
You told me I changed; I was no longer happy & carefree but alone and sad inside my head-
I smiled and said you were crazy then went home and cried myself to sleep with the truth inside my heart-
I had this dream you would be the one to free me from the horrors I created for myself-
I had a thought you'd help me change my ways.. Make me a better person again-
But you're just like the rest of them; judgmental and rude-
You're lies of love deep through my heavy heart and fill my head with migraines I don't need-
Your words of truth make sure I remember each flaw I have-
And those beautiful green eyes haunt my dreams when the lights go out-
Oct 2013 · 1.5k
Rags to Riches
Brianna Oct 2013
Rows of daisies surround me as I lie in this grass dreaming of hollow bottles etched in gold--
I don't often dream of princesses and castle made of gold but when I do I go big--
You left me at the alter in a white dress holding flowers you hand picked the day before--
You told me beautiful lies about distant lands & we knew money could buy us just enough happiness--
I felt selfish and shallow, taking the money you handed to me like it was free candy it you insisted it was what I had to do--
And it's okay now since you left me beacause I'm finding a cure--
I've let my hair down and walked into the open fields that surround me letting the sun shine down on my face --
I made a crown of flowers as I took a deep breath & realized I wasn't meant for the royal life--
You left me at the alter in a white dress with cheap flowers you said you hand picked and I left you six feet beneath the ground in debt--
Trying something new let me know your thoughts I'm curious how to make this better :)
Oct 2013 · 501
Waiting in the cold
Brianna Oct 2013
Sleepless nights filled with emptiness--
You're my east coast heart--
Tired glances from you to I--
Fingers trace hearts on skin--
Lists of creatively shallow optimism--
I'm falling head over heels--
Wrap your hands around me--
Kiss me harder--
Love me deeper--
Follow me-
To this dark lonely grave--
I created this for only....
You & I --
Brianna Oct 2013
I guess the truth is that I have my bags packed waiting by the door and I'm just waiting on that special someone to prove to me that I'm worth it.
They told me no one will love me until I love myself and this is probably more true that I want to believe.
I guess the truth is I'm fighting for the love I dream of at night; the love you see in the movies.
They told me I have to believe in fighting for myself before I fight for someone else... I guess I'm not selfish enough in a sense.
I guess the truth is I don't think I'll ever love myself...
I suppose no one will love me either then?
3.5 hours of crying through sappy love movies. Ugh girl moments.
Oct 2013 · 627
Stop coming around
Brianna Oct 2013
I can't remember the sound of your voice, well I can ever so slightly, and I can't remember the way you smiled at things... Those little things.  I try to remember the way your lips felt against mine or the way you played with my hair but these memories are slowly fading.

love me I beg you.
leave me you say softly.

Cigarettes and coffee I'm slowly killing myself with caffeine and nicotine... Everything you hate. I can't sleep anymore, the nightmares of our past fill my head, I just remember so much.. But sometimes it feels better to just give in.

i want to die I whispered to an empty room.
i need you in my life I cried to an empty room.

My friends laugh at me... I have always been so independent except when you come around.
I lose control.
I lose rationality.
I lose all emotions besides lust and love... I become so weak

And I just want you to know... i love you
Even though you'll never realize how much... I truly love you.
Oct 2013 · 726
Let it snow
Brianna Oct 2013
It's that time of year again when the snow falls slowly from the open sky & the cold blocks the happiness in my mind.
It's the time of year people cuddle with their partners & drink hot coco while I shiver in bed alone.
The season of joy is the most painful season for me to be alive.
It's the time when your birthday is and Christmas; when kids get gifts & lovers love.
I want to be strong this year for myself.
But it's just so cold outside as I draw in the frost on my window.
I want to let it not bother me that I know you're with someone holding her hand kissing her frozen lips smiling under the snowflakes....
It the time of year when the snow falls slowly and I'm sitting alone reading old romance novels trying to make sense of my pitiful life.
Brianna Oct 2013
There was nothing these old love letters could do to soothe the pain I felt in my black hole of a heart...
The moon above me in the starry night sky filled with endless galaxies I've romanticized in my heartless mind.... They can't save me tonight.
I will parish under the ocean as I take deep breaths trying to grasp concept of your love that's drowning me slowly.
There was nothing these sappy love songs & clever words from poets I've never met could do to save me from my ever wandering mind.... I've wandered to far off the tracks... Lost is an under statement.
But tonight I ask the green weeping Willows and the bright tulips to take my heart and show it peace.
I ask for forgiveness from friends and family, from the moon and the stars, from the deep blue ocean; please forgive my sadness.
And with one final kiss goodnight I'll say goodbye to my ever wandering mind and black hole of a heart... I'm finding peace in myself.
Brianna Oct 2013
I have to stop drinking again.
because I wake up with my head spinning, my stomach churning, and the acid in my heart threatening to eat through the flesh.
I have to stop crying again.
because I know you don't care, or the feel the same way anymore.
There are too many memories and why the hell did I think a bottle of wine would honestly help?
I have to stop drinking again.
before I turn back into the monster I hate or the person I tried my hardest not to become.
before I desire nothing but sitting at home drinking bottle after bottle wasting my life away.
As I sit here with my head in the toilet begging for mercy I pray to a God I don't believe in and I beg... I am begging  to get the courage to let go of this life I have created...

I  have to stop.
Oct 2013 · 518
He was pt.3
Brianna Oct 2013
He moved far far away to another city for another life.
How could I blame him when I wanted nothing more than to do the same?
He sent me poetry and said
"I thought about you today as I sat in a garden thinking how lovely it would be to have someone lying next to me. I thought about you today"
He was a funny guy.
He was theatrical and naive.
Love didn't come to those who deserved it most.
Love went to the ones who cheated. The ones who lied. The ones who threw it away.
He was in love with the wrong girl.
He was in love with the angry aggressive girl who spoke to loud and too obscene.
He was in love with the self destructive hopeless ******* the west coast.
The girl who hid behind her camera capturing the beauty in everyone else why silently destroying herself with criticism every snap of the shutter.
**He was in love with the girl he thought he could save
Ladies! The boy these are about lives on NYC and is single. Feel free!
Oct 2013 · 369
Tick Tock
Brianna Oct 2013
Will you take a moment and turn the clock back so I can see where it all went wrong?
Will you let me in? Will I let myself in?
Will you breathe in the fresh air of the Midwest and take in the green that surrounds you for just a moment?
Will you let your heart beat slow? Will I hear your heart calling mine??
I'm asking for you to take a deep breath... And smile because even though when backs are turned we start to cry; I want you to know I love you.
I love the pieces of you you can't see.
The pieces of you you don't want to be.
The memories we shared the life we had.
The happiness along with the sad.
So if you have one minute to spare will you turn the clocks back to undo what went wrong?
Oct 2013 · 1.1k
Fairytales are for kids
Brianna Oct 2013
Keep the fairytales to a minimum; I'm just trying to get back to reality.
I'm no Sleeping Beauty but I could be a wandering Alice just trying to get out of Wonderland. I'm no Snow White but possibly a hopeless Cinderella always dreaming of an escape from an evil family. I've never been one for princesses and princes... But I do believe in true love. There were so many winding roads leading to the love I desired I believe I've lost the way out of these stories I've been told. You see I know Prince Charming isn't waiting around the corner to save me from the monsters I've created... He's just trying to fight his own monsters and make it out alive. All I'm asking is if I make it through the woods without being eaten by any Big Bad Wolf can we keep the fairytales to a minimum?
Oct 2013 · 404
The little pieces of me
Brianna Oct 2013
I keep driving hoping to find the piece of me I lost way back when. Hoping the next town or city I hit will be the place I know I have to stay. As people pass me by and building grow from small to skyscrapers I'll keep dreaming of better times. The times when we were young and naive. The time when love was love and lust was just a word we hadn't quite figured out the definition yet. Back to when you loved me and I loved you. As I drive through the country I dream of a new me. A happier person with goals and a plan. A me with only the best memories that make me smile instead of cry. A me that people want to be around again.
I may not find the piece of me I lost so long ago... But I will sure find who I am supposed to be along the way.
Oct 2013 · 414
I let them win
Brianna Oct 2013
I woke up with sweat dripping down my face and my throat raw from screaming.
I let the demons in.
I let them burn my heart.
I let them steal your away.
I am asking for one night of sleep and dreams that don't involve you leaving.
But you're gone.
But you're with her.
But you left me alone  again...
Demons told me it was time to end it all.
They said it was the only way.
They said I had no reason to live.
They said love would never come for me.
So I laughed at these demons and I took their warnings with tears running down my face,...
And I took that blade and slit my throat before I could really feel the pain of being alone..
Before I could think.
Before I could remember.
Not sure how I feel yet about this... Might add to it still :)
Oct 2013 · 572
Voyage of My life
Brianna Oct 2013
I stand alone, sea sick, on this voyage through the firey pits of my self destructive mind.
I see the waves crashing back and fourth as I think about you and what you're doing over there on the east coast.
I see the fire rise in my chest when I remember you have my heart out there in the green fields of North Carolina.. And I wonder... Can I have that back?
You see you never did understand the concept of one and one makes two... It was more of one times one.
You never could grasp my love for you was so extreme I could barely walk talk or act when you came near.
There are nothing but grey clouds threatening to take down this ship I call My Life.
And as the ship makes it's way through the rough water treading water barely staying afloat, I start to sink... But what did you expect from a girl with anchors on her feet?
My first mate jumped **** back east and here I stand watching him paddle to shore without a wave farewell.
Oct 2013 · 375
Fear of home
Brianna Oct 2013
I woke up with this overwhelming fear
That I would die in this
****** town.

I cried myself to sleep praying to a god I don't believe in that I would
Escape
This
Town before I became one
With it's *****
Rotten
Ground.

Last night I wanted to scream at anyone
Anything about everything
About how I just had to find a way
A hope
A plan
To get myself in a better place
As fast
As soon
As painlessly
As I could.

With tears falling down my face I woke up
With an overwhelming fear
That I would never get out of this
Town.
I have to get the hell out of here....
Oct 2013 · 906
Those cherry lips (10W)
Brianna Oct 2013
Her lips red like cherries
tasting slightly of dried blood.
Oct 2013 · 875
Drifting Vagabonds
Brianna Oct 2013
Drift with me like foam on the open sea.
Follow me through mystic woods where animals flee.
Love with me like the sun loves the moon.
Sleep with me from midnight to noon.
Vagabonds and gypsies let's make this life count for something!
We are the golden ones who stand for nothing.
Sway with me in the open wind near the bonfires made of laughter and secrets.
Breathe with me as we watch sunsets that help us forget the regrets.,
We are the dawns fading into daylight.
We see the fallen ones searching for dreams in times of spite.
Oct 2013 · 234
Please find yourself (10W)
Brianna Oct 2013
Even  this map
Won't help
In finding the real you.
Oct 2013 · 695
Sobering pain
Brianna Oct 2013
Chaos brewed in my heart with each sip of that sweet, sweet poison.
When I'm sober I feel pain.
Tragedy fell in love with the Sinner across the room he led her straight to hell with one breath of cancerous smoke.
When I'm sober I feel...
Hope will lead me to my demise and I'll fall head first into the darkness surrounding his heart.
When I'm sober...
Blurry vision an slurred words he took my hand lead me down the rabbit hole laughing through the dark tunnels.
When I'm...
Tears running down her face Tragedy waited for her Sinner to come back to stop the sobering pain she started to feel...
When...
Oct 2013 · 380
I need sleep
Brianna Oct 2013
I haven't slept in a week.
Coffee and nicotine are the only things keeping me semi focused at work.
and staring at this computer screen typing the same stuff over and over again
I keep shuffling through my work folders only to find.
hidden photos from our trip that make me remember...
I haven't smiled like that since I got home.
My eyes hurt as much as my heart.
Oct 2013 · 601
You're what I deserve
Brianna Oct 2013
You are cold water rushing over my head threatening to drown me or freeze my lungs with salt water... whichever sounds more painful. You are cold hands wrapped around my neck and black eyes that stand out for longer than a week. You're those hot summers full drought and there is no water anywhere in sight leaving me parched, begging for death. You're the last dance and the lack of kiss goodnight.  You're the bad taste in my mouth as I silently keep begging for more because like one of my favorite novels told me once
we accept the love we think we deserve.
Oct 2013 · 956
Middle of nowhere
Brianna Oct 2013
Whiskey kisses and drunken nights.
I was nothing more than a sad romantic novel on the back of your shelf.
Red lipstick smeared across my mouth.
I was nothing but your quickie on the side of the road.

You said "don't worry this will be over quickly"
I said " I hope you get hit by a ******* car."

You laughed with bitterness and said with one quick slap to my face "you're nothing more than whiskey kisses on the side of the road"
You left me stranded on the dirt road in a mini skirt and red lipstick on my face and a new black eye.

And I said, quietly to myself on this old abandoned road in the middle of nowhere, "I hope I get hit by a ******* car"
Trying something new.
Oct 2013 · 612
away with these dreams
Brianna Oct 2013
I want to lie in fields of daisies with you staring at shooting stars that pass us by. I want to talk about Jupiter's moons and Saturn's rings like we know what we are talking about. I want to sit on top of sky scrapers counting all the red cars that pass us by. I want to travel to distant lands with foreign languages and be people we aren't just for a little while. I want to make the best romance novels jealous of our love and passion. I want to make the moon jealous of the sun and the rain jealous of the clouds. I want them to build statues of us and tell stories to children to let them know a love like this existed.  I want to kiss your eyes shut and hold your hand while I listen to you sleep next to me. But more than anything else I want to love you & you love me to infinity & beyond.
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