There are bruises surrounding my the place my heart used to be and I'm blue in the face from holding my breath.
We played hide and seek with our emotions till you caught be red handed on your bed waiting for you like I always do.... Just waiting...
Counting backwards from ten I breathed in and breathed out just to hear you say nothing at all when you should have said more.
You're leaving me and ignoring our problems like you always do and I ask why can't you just work things out like normal people do?
We lost our minds and I'm scared this is the last time we will play this game and I just can't sleep anymore.
You're hiding still from how you feel because emotions are a weakness to you but it takes more strength in a person to be honest to me...
You held my heart hostage and cut out my heart just to hear me tell you I am yours and only yours... Then you let me go so easily...
Leaving me with bruises where my heart used to be...
I wanted to **** time with you until my head spun around and around with dizziness that you make me feel.
But by the end of the night we sat awkward and drunk counting the minutes till sunrise when I could sober myself up to drive home...
You said you no longer wanted to be alive.
I told you you were just drunk and I loved you.
You yelled at me from across the table asking so many questions I couldn't answer and I just cried.
Because I loved you so much... And I wish I could give you a mirror to show you how I enamored every single piece of you.
And I would write you letters every day telling you how amazing you are in every way.
I would kiss you every hour, every second of the day if it would bring you out of this funk.
Instead we sat at your dining room table staring at each other with sadness and fear... Drunk and reminiscing the better days... Eating Mac n cheese...
I will love you till the day I die and beyond.. As pathetic as it may seem.
I just wanted to let you know..
That you're beautiful.
And I know that's something boys say to girls but
I never followed the rules before
Why start now?
I just wanted to let you know ...
You make me smile.
Like a little kid opening gifts on Christmas
You make me giddy and silly.
I just want you to know...
They you broke my heart.
An I'm not holding it against you anymore
Because they said I shouldn't
Hold a grudge.
I just wanted you to know...
I do still love you.
But I hope you will find someone to make you
As happy as you once
Oh love. Such silly terrible emotions sometimes.
I like you enough
To let you
Keep talking ****
Because the funny part
Can't stand myself anyways.
How terrible you just made
She danced over waterfalls with the moonlight making her milky skin glow.
Singing the night sing she spread her wings and burst into the flames of the Phoenix being reborn into beauty.
Morning came to early and her eyes held a tiny bit of sadness but she kept dancing through the golden rays.
Love was her name and madness was her favorite game.
Russian roulette never stood a chance against her and her gun.
As the night fell making way for a new time, a new day, she smiled on and held her head higher then the moon and the sun.
Love was the one.
I like to surround myself with beautiful people who hate themselves.
I find their beauty as they dig deep claws into tier tiny flaws pulling out only blood and tissue that create their flawless scars.
Is it shallow that I only like beautiful people?
I don't think so no.
Because who says what's beautiful and what's not beautiful?
Who I think is gorgeous and flawless you may find hideous and unattractive but that will never change my mind.
I surround myself with people I want things from... Because I think I am, myself, that hideous monster you speak of.
I see fat and disgust.
I see self hatred and lost dreams.
I see lack of motivation with no will power.
I see a lonely girl who can't find love of course because she doesn't love herself.
And yet I hear people say I'm beautiful & pretty & wonderful and I can't help but wonder....
Maybe surrounding myself with "beautiful" people is a shallow, awful thing to say....
We are all uniquely gorgeous
In one way or
What a week... So much self hatred... Trying to stay positive when I'm so far from that goal... I'm trying.,
He smelled like peppermint in the middle of Christmas with those frosty hands he tried to hold tightly to my body hidden under layers of old sweaters.
He handed me a cup of steaming hot coco and kissed my red frozen nose and we watched the snow fall outside our window laughing as it fogged up when our breath touched it.
There was nothing but love in the air that morning we awoke under mistletoe and stockings were hung.
He handed me that little red box and he said
"I know what you expect but don't be sad when it's not there... this meant more to me than a simple ring"
I opened that little red box with anticipation racing through my veins... and inside was the sweetest love letter I've ever received...
Darling, you're more than the moon
you're more then the heavens above.
You're the sun that shines down in the summer day.
You're the happiness I feel when there is nothing to say.
You're the only reason I would ever cry...
and that would be the day that we die.
You're the legs to my chair, without you'd fall straight down.
And you're the emptiness I feel when you're not around...
So now I will ask what you've been dying to hear..
Will you marry me?"
With tears shining in my eyes like the ornaments on our luscious green tree... I looked over to my one and my only and nodded and said I Do.
Just as he pulled out the most beautiful ring.