I am at this point in life
When everything I hear
And everything i see
Hurts me.
Even the good things.
Because I know
That things can change so quick so bad.
And if,
IF I somehow manage to do something good
And make myself happy
I can't even enjoy it.
Because I am completely doubtless
That it will,
Like all the past stuff that were good in my life
Come to an ending
Just when I attach to it
And can't live without it anymore.
And when they do come to the end of the road,
I spend months and months
Putting all the broken pieces of myself together.
I spend months and months
Searching for a closure.
But just when I do,
Somehow,
Step on this problem's toes
And defeat it,
Something else hits me
Like a million of heavy burning trees
And crushes me
Like I was a thin toothpick,
Just standing in the wind,
Waiting to be knocked down.

I go home,
Lock myself in the bathroom
And cry;
Like my body was filled with rain,
Like my tears were a waterfall,
Like my eyes were a bucket full of water.

So please,
Don’t try to change my mind
If i'd rather ignore the good stuff
Than spend months and months
Repairing the damage that the pleasure brought.
Don’t try to change my mind.