The road led down to the edge of a bay,
with waters of blue, on the other side of which lay
what seemed to be a camp with buildings long and low,
and surrounded by fences over which no man could go,
and figures in orange exercising in the yard,
and other figures in khaki who were probably their guards.
“There must be an entrance to this camp of theirs,”
said George to his team with a serious air,
“Let’s drive on up to the top of the bay,
and to the camp’s entrance find out the way,
that we may know just who these people are
and why they have all been put behind bars.”
Eventually they came to a barrier of steel,
intended to stop any entry and to seal
the camp off from the rest of the land,
and patrolled by soldiers with rifles in hand.
George asked them who the prisoners were,
and the soldiers replied “They are terrorists, sir.
captured by our army in Afghanistan,
and our job is to guard them the best way we can.”

from The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)

Suddenly the eastern cook grew quite excited,
he had spotted a shop with Chinese characters,
and chickens and ducks hanging behind a glass
to stimulate the hunger of those who might pass,
and a red and gold signboard with letters that said,
“Welcome -  enter this place and be fed”.
The eastern cook cried, “Why not go in,
it’s time for lunch, let’s eat something.”
“Yes,” said George, “it’s a good idea,
and safe - they don't make hamburgers here!”
This restaurant was a noisy place,
with tables crowded and not much space
for waiters to carry their trays well laden
with assorted dim-sums and bowls of ramen,
and the clatter of people busily eating
with friends with whom they had a meeting
and chopsticks clicking and glasses clinking,
and background music and singers singing.
They all sat down at a table for ten,
and ordered lunch for their party of men,
and just one woman who said that she
didn’t eat much but that she would be
happy to try any stir-fried dish
as she was partial to greens and to fish.

from The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)

George stared at his host with great trepidation,
never had he been in such a surprising situation.
But his host just looked at him and gave him a smile,
saying why not sit down - you’ll be here for a while.
Chairs there were none, what was George to do,
but noticing his predicament his host called out to
the guard at the door to bring him a chair
which he did from the restaurant at the foot of the stairs.
“I called you up here to see me today
as I have things very important to say,
and to warn you of what may suddenly take place,”
said he with a confident look on his face.
“First, this proliferation must cease,
it’s spreading all over just like a disease,
destroying our culture and corrupting our youth,
bringing to our society morals uncouth,
the infidels’ influence is everywhere around,
and is increasing and growing by leaps and by bounds.
George was confused, what did it all mean,
so he asked his host, could you kindly explain,
“Of course,” said he, “let me tell you again,
this disease that I speak of is known the world over
as the curse of imperialism, the American Hamburger!"

from The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)

They landed in the capital city,
a charming place, but it was a pity
that attractive buildings were not maintained
or looked after at all, but still retained
their original grace, with brass-knockered doors,
and balconies projecting from every floor.
George and his crew went out for a walk,
and wandered through a maze of alleys,
hearing on all sides the people talk
in Spanish, but they did not dally,
but continued until they saw the ocean,
with waves describing a circular motion,
as they frothingly fell on a shore of white
endlessly stretching until out of sight.
The water was calm in shades of blue,
with sometimes a fishing boat in view,
but the beach was empty, no people there,
no swimmers, no sunbathers, not a deckchair.
No children playing and laughing with glee,
just a deserted strand and a tranquil sea.

From The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)

The dark man then shouted, “If it’s pork that you wish,
then have it you will,” and hurled the whole dish
at the Maximum Leader who was hit in the beard
and his nose and his cheeks and his uniform smeared
with pork and with beans and chili sauce seasoning
which ran down his face and stained all his clothing.
The Latin cook then grabbed a cleaver immense
in order to protect and come to the defense
of the Maximum Leader, who support did not lack,
as all of his aides jumped into the attack.
A melee broke out with punching and fighting,
shouting and cursing and kicking and biting,
tables knocked over and crockery broken,
this was for George a tricky situation.
But, quick-witted, as usual, he knew what to do.
On the stove there was boiling a large *** of stew,
picking up a cup, and the other cooks too,
they filled them with hot broth which they then threw
at the combatants all, who, burned, ceased their brawling
and fled for their lives to avoid further scalding

from The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)

George did not hear this diatribe,
because early that morning he had gone outside,
for every day he liked to go
jogging for seven miles or so.
Keeping fit was his intention
and he really liked the warm sensation
of muscle power it brought to him
after completing his daily run.
That day while jogging in the park
he was accosted by some fellows dark,
all with beards and fierce black eyes,
aggressive, but not so large in size,
who took him to a nearby place
filled with people of similar race,
talking, shouting and drinking up
great quantities of coffee by the cup,
and sat him down as in a pen,
and surrounded him with excited men.

from The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)

“Comrades, the reason I’ve come here today,
is to meet my old friend and to say
that I will not touch any capitalist food.
What I need to eat is both simple and good,
yes, pork and beans, the people’s staple,
a dish which my friend is very able
to make very well - but before we eat
I wish to continue with my speech.
The poor must stand up for their rights,
put blood-******* foreigners to flight,
arrest all those who plunder resources,
never give up, but gather their forces
to ensure that all assets belong to the nation
to be used for the benefit of the whole population.
Those in my country not supporting this cause
of freedom and equality were forced from our shores,
to flee as refugees, never to return,
these people we call traitors, these people we call worms!”

from The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)