When you're alone
And you don't have a book to befriend,
You think-
And that can get scary.
Thinking about your loneliness,
Trying to humour yourself somehow.
Until you slip slightly deeper into your mind.
Then, life in general
Becomes your thought priority.
Exams, friends, family,
Exes.
Love.
Weeping echoes the borders of your mind.
Slightly mock crying
That you have no love life,
Or that your previous ones have burnt.
Just like the edges of your balance.
You stumble further,
Deliberating depression,
And how life is too cruel on you.
No one deserves you.
You fall, eventually
Into nothing.
Hearing your thoughts
Echo around you.
Then they start to scream.
As if terror caught hold of their voices
And shoved it through a megaphone-
Making their fear louder.
Your fears louder.
It's hard to think,
While tumbling endlessly,
Into nothing.
You're falling into a bottomless Thought machine.
The voices stop.
Abruptly.
Instead, you hear faint music.
Flutes.
Playing like wind-
Softly,
Suddenly you're floating.
As if on a cloud.
You look up,
To see the faintest light;
Hope.
Yet it's disappearing.
However, for once you aren't afraid.
But, the bright is closing in.
The light that you once thought didn't exist
Is making it's appearance stronger,
By vanishing.
Can you hear that?
It's the music-
Not so soothing anymore.
Not soft, but loud.
Not sweet, but bitter.
The horror clearly laid out
Through each note.
Can you hear the rapid movements,
The never ending spiral of notes,
The minor clearly being played,
Loud enough to get to the inner soul?
The cloud has vanished,
You are falling-
And the ground refuses to appear.
Wind of thoughts rushing,
Terror music playing,
Your rapid thoughts repeated out loud,
Turning into cries of help.
You can't move up,
You can't stop,
You can't breath
Any more.
What is happening?
Where are you?
Is this what it's like,
To be lost in your mind?
Eventually,
your knees buckle.
The ground resurfaces,
And you can sort of feel again.
But standing up,
you look above.
No light.
You walk around, feel your boundaries,
Smooth as silk.
You strain your ears to hear a thing,
Silence.
You try to hold it the tears in,
When realization dawns upon you;
You are trapped
In the midst of your thoughts.
Forever.
It'll be best if you ask someone to read this aloud to you, and you close your eyes. Try it.