Like a tree,
With many leaves-

I wasn't the only one.

Everyone wants to be stoic.
Absorbing emotions,
But never really showing it.

Like a sponge-
It absorbs water
But you can never tell it has.

Unless, of course,
There is too much.
Then it gets heavier,
And heavier,
And heavier,
The emotions piling up,
To the extent of spilling.
It then leaks through every hole-
Of water,
Emotions, feelings.

Unexpectedly
It bursts.
At the wrong moment,
With the wrong people,
Watching every single
Wrong move.

Stoic people are still people,
They're just better at keeping their emotions.
But having it all bottled up
Is like having poison flowing through your body-
Intoxicated.

To be stoic is not easy,
But to not be,
Is.

And sometimes,
It's best.

To have all your emotions
Bottled up,
Is never good.
One day you will erupt
Your emotions burning lava
Everywhere, at everyone.

To be stoic is a gift
But also a curse.

Would you want to be the stoic sponge,
Leaking constantly without knowing it?

instead of saying
do
instead of judging
help
instead of worrying
be
instead of hating
love
instead of hurting
heal
instead of taking
give
instead of crawling
FLY

Sleep is scarce for me.

While my eyes may be closed,
My heart is beating rapidly,
In the fear of not falling,
Falling for you too.

Do I dare say a word?
No, my secret is kept in,
For they would not understand.
Or rather, they know, but refuse to accept it.

So while they're deep in their slumber,
Possibly in another world,
I'm lying here awake
Thinking about the tens of possibilities
That would never happen to me.

Like, you and I.

My body cannot tame
This unhealthy diet.
It does not deserve
To suffer like this.

Waking up in the morning,
Only to realize I did not succeed.
Going out,
Only to realize that my lack of slumber
Is affecting me more more than I know.

Why? Because of you.

These droopy eyes
Only wish for one night,
Where they could close
For quite a while
In real rest.

But, even when they do
My last thought is you.

Why?
Why are you doing this to me?
I think about you late in the night
And first thing in the morning.
You are the reason I’m so tired.

How can you help me
When you caused it in the first place?

I'm tired,
Tired of drifting off when I shouldn't,
Tired of half open eyes,
Tired of my restless sleep,
And tired of thinking about you.

Why'd you do this to me?
I cannot help loving you.

Is my Insomnia,
The aftermath,
Of falling for you?