I wish
I could fly
high

above
myself
above
the wordly littleness

and see
my heart has
but a regular human size

and the gold inside
glimmers as much
the same

and all vanity
and presumption
forgetful time
will equally
devour.

I am the architect
of my own destruction
So don't be under any assumption
That this is self inflicted pain
I just consume corruption
So when the devil returns
Relief is what I'll feel
Knowing this is the end of our deal

I'm in love.
I'm in love with the way grass smells after it's been mowed.
It has a certain smell that reminds me of summer days and childhood memories.

I'm in love with how that rain hits my window during a storm.
It's like it wants to come in so badly that tries to obliterate my window but only to realize that as soon as it hits the glass, the raindrop itself obliterates.

And I guess that's how I feel in love with you. You reminded me of summer nights and some childhood memories and I wanted to get into your heart so badly that I thought if I made myself fall you would catch me.

But, just like the raindrop, I obliterated on contact.

Waiting is much harder
if you think of the time
you wasted.


*© Pax

Could you...

Find humor
when told of the tumor

Smile
when the answer is cancer

Laugh
at the heart attack

Kick back
in the face of death

Yawn
when your not given that long

Whistle a tune
when they tell you it's June

Have no remorse
as the disease runs its course

Bow your head
when there's nothing left

Could you?