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i hope your
i hate you's
turn into
thank you's
and your
*******'s
turn into
love you's
one day

even though
you hurt so
i hope you
see what I do
one day

I'm selfish
it's true
I don't want
to lose you

pressed pause
hopeful to make time
for you to realize
you're not that small

i'm sorry for my haste
i know how you hate it
how i always want
to save you

i hope the pause
doesn't prolong
the misery
but helps you to see
the amazing

if one day never comes
see you in my dreams
feel you in the beats
here's the space
you requested

even if you stay
bitter forever
know i'm here
always
never say never
i love you
as fiercely as ever
written 3/7/17
Scrolling through poetries

Finding myself in "messages"

"You seem so happy. How are you so happy all the time? Why are you so happy though?"

Someone had said to me.

Well, to be honest I don't really know how I am happy. I'm not even sure if I am.

I don't know why I always grin like a fool in front of my friends.

How I'm so positive. How I laugh and smile at everything.

Because....... I guess.......


It feels good.

To laugh rather than cry

To smile rather than frown.

To be happy when you know something isn't.

It feels comfortable.

Just smile at everything!

Be happy.

It feels like cuddling with blankets on a freezing winter. Cookies beside you.... warmth filling your body....

Like heaven..


I just smile.



Can you do me a favor....


And just smile.....

Smile....



Like nothing matters..... smile.....





Let's be happy, guys. : )
: ) can you smile for me???RAISE YOUR HAND LIKE A KINDERGANTENER IF YOU ACTUALLY SMILED!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAAAHH!
This is my bargain.
Day for night
and night for day.

There isn't a time where I hadn't wished
that the day would end to make way for night.

Nights offer a bleak sense of comfort.
Almost as if they'd grant a temporary cloak which
you could huddle under and think or...
Overthink in the dark.

You could bargain shamelessly with tears running streams down your face and no one could see.
You could negotiate with reality for the slight perchance that things would turn out alright come daylight.
You could voice out your barter in hushed tones and still be somewhat assured that no one would know.
All of this...
In the cover of night.

Then when sleep eludes, you can't help but beg for day to come.
For with the light comes the day's responsibilities; all eager and raring to go.
Much like runners at the start line, anticipating the shot to be fired at the crack of dawn.
Shot fired and they'd come swooping down on you...
Sweeping you off your feet and carries you off to where you need to be, doing what you're paid to do for the next 8 to 10 hours.

That is your break from the dark.
That is your retreat from all the thinking.
That is your escape from... yourself.

And then...
4 hours into the day, you're wishing for night again.
the Hello Poetry portrait gallery
is becoming full of empty frames
what individuals had a hand
in these harassment games

we've been deprived of many
talented written contributions
the villainous mob most adroit
with their unwarranted executions

blank boxes tell of an almighty
mischief being awfully made
by they who are wanting
to garner every accolade

under a serious threat our
fraternity of poets are thus far
and of seeing unfilled cubes
there leaves a permanent scar
There are, dear daughter, oceans between us
(At your insistence, though I say this without rancor)
A buffer from the memories of our sad antics,
Pottery reduced to shards, doors slammed in such a manner
That the very jambs ached in regret,
The hinges wept in the weight of their sadness,
Though the human heart, mapped by its own wan geography,
Is immune to such trifles as mere distance.
We have tarried in foul gardens of sophistry,
Engaged in predictable shows of dramatics,
As if our outbursts can be measured in some calculus
Seeking to ascertain our devotion
In the rending of garments, the shrieking collapse upon the floor,
For it has been revealed to me
That the spectacle of our grand lamentations,
Worn by us like the finest silver-threaded garments,
Are no more than the strutting and preening
Of some noisome, foul peacock.
No, we must accept, indeed embrace, the notion
That our love is as imperfect as our selves,
And that we must approach its altar
Not with grandiloquence and haughty pomp,
But meekly, bearing the simple gift our person
Modestly cloaked in the simple black gown of humility.
The Marquesa was one of the unlucky individuals whom were cast into the abyss by Thornton Wilder in the novel The Bridge Of San Luis Rey, which is as **** fine a novel as has ever been unjustly more-or-less forgotten.

— The End —