I feel more alone than I've ever felt in my entire life
I can always tell that I'm caught within the stride
Of people clueless and of people veiled
Along with the ones who won't accept, or the ones who strangely will
I'll always know that I'm another part of this new ordeal
Please look up for a second because there is

Nothing around you but a swarm of pixels
I want to be your friend, but I'll never meet you
I'll reach out for you, but nothing will be there
I've never even heard you speak, or would I care?

So when I looked at the screen for the tenth time
She hasn't replied for fifteen years it seems
I begin to worry about her, is she OK, is she hurt?
Yet it's only been a few minutes, it's such a curse
Yet why the impatience for someone who I'll never meet
And the constant sensation that she's going to leave?
All I'm left with is paranoia and disbelief

Yet now I'm apparently gay, according to what my phone now says
But here's the comfort from someone I'll never talk to again
Maybe it's time that I let my sadness go
And maybe it's the time that I don't feel so alone
I look up and don't see anyone to talk to
How can I, while everyone stares into their phones?

Again, I feel more alone than I've ever felt in my entire life
Where is fact within connectivity, when it only disconnects me
So goodbye my friend I never met, you'll disappear into the technological stream
Goodbye, mystical troll, I will leave you to another feast

I once met a girl who didn't believe that she was such a beauty to anyone, even to me
Ah, what a lie she told herself every day that nothing about her was perfect in any way
She'd tell me to stop nagging and to stop dragging her away
She'd tell me that I didn't understand that skinny is OK
I asked myself what was that to her, even if she got it?
Would that fact actually make her happier than she was at the beginning?
She'd collapse in tears as she could not match to society's standards of a body that is seen as attractive
But what she failed to realise is that nothing matters on the outside

Because if you're beautiful on the inside that takes over and purifies what the eyes can see
Because when you are with someone who loves you for who you are, it's all that matters in reality

Yet she'd always go silent and always cry, buckling under the pressure and the fact she wouldn't comply
That she was exquisite to me, that sparkling beauty who always caresses my dreams
She never accepted that if you're kind and charming within ugliness does not plague your skin
The skin stretching indefinitely across bones as she continuously starves, always comparing herself to the warped illusion at large

Then when she sees her reflection, out comes a sigh of exasperation as she cannot see her beauty
I get consumed with frustration as she won't see her perfection, her view of perfection tainted by the world
But I want her to remember for sure

I will always remind you that you are perfect to me, sending out every compliment as if it is a plea
I know that you'll dodge the meaning of them somehow, but I promise I'll be there for you, forever more
I'll be the rain, the wind, the sunset to put you to sleep
Knowing that the beauty I showed is within you as I speak

Pages fill, pages tear
A hand crossing paper swiftly yet carefully
Words beought to life by a grasping hand
Yet torn apart by those ever-perfected fingers
Running, running, running until the heart bursts
Bones crack, muscles strain, sweat blinds
Clenching a jaw, rising up
Back on feet, soles thumping onto the ground
Fumes flowing into nostrils
Skin on hands unseeable
A blank void filled as time rushes bu
Curses as paint seeps unplanningly
Strings break, tears form
Running fingers over them until they bleed
The pleasure filling ears
Pain never of any hinderence
Words filling eyes
Wisdom creeping into the brain
Nothing but a book in the world
The knowledge brought like liquid gold
Obesession, it takes control
Obsession, a thing of beauty
Obesession, a thing of flaws
Obsession opening countless doors

I always remember you; it would be despicable to forget
You're smile I'd rarely see, that brightness in your face I would rarely find
But that made you beautiful and strong
Of course, if you were still here you'd tell me I was wrong

I believed we were inseparable, even at daunting times
But I guess that even I couldn't stop the bond breaking
As you fell away
Fell, fell, fell from my grasp

I've gone on with words to hide my sorrow, but now, oh now I cannot hold it in
I miss you, I can't say it enough, tears form as I write this
I am losing my mind slowly, you escaped this hell, but here I still am
You told me you were going to rise, all I could give was a broken goodbye

How did I let this happen, someone special like you to go?
I repent my sins and hope you forgive me
I pray everyday that you're somewhere you are at peace
You told me, stay strong, but oh how I've failed

As I'm falling apart every second that you're away
Maybe, I shall see you again, by following your footsteps someday
As everything is flawed, oh what am I doing here?
While I could be with you, somewhere up there

It's just like a normal day and you don't think you're ready yet
But how wrong you are, as this can consume at any minute

You are standing but fall down, the shock also adding to the torment
You hear screams and sirens, and wonder, will I join the fallen?
There's cards and flowers on your window, your friends and family pleading for you to stay
But another thing draws you towards it, being dark and scary, but somehow inviting

You see it as the shadow of the day
The knowledge that it'll soon embrace you with darkness
Will the darkness last, or a white light come to end the suffering?
It is certain now you lost the fight, but wonder, was I ever fighting?

It dawns on you that you've had enough, you want the pain to end
So let the eternal shadow embrace you, and become your friend