When you left, I didn't feel it,
I didn't feel a thing but sweet, sweet relief
and the breath I had been holding since you said "I love you"
left my body all at once.
All at once.
That's how it hit me.
The pain didn't creep up on me.
It hit me.
All.
at.
once.
full force at my throat
into my lungs, chasing the oxygen I had left
through my blood stream and out of my throat.
all.
at.
once.
It smelt like our first kiss.
Sloppy.
Awkward.
and *****.
not because we we're being ***** ourselves,
but we were, quite literally, *****, on the ground, next to the lake.
I wonder if anyone ate that pizza we left because we were so full of each other, we didn't have room to eat it.
Last week,
I couldn't breathe. I was walking home from work,
and it smelt like you.
It smelt like late nights in your car,
it smelt like Sunday mornings in your bed
when neither of us wanted to get up but your parents were going to be home soon.
it smelt like my high school parking lot, where you asked me to be your girlfriend, and I barely responded because I could not stop smiling.
it smelt like hello and sunshine and summer.
it smelt like goodbye and cold and winter.
and it smelt like you and it hit me,
all.
at.
once.








and it's over.

compassion

a glimpse
out of this world

into the Divine

I'm terrified that you
Are falling in love
With the idea of me,
That the masterpiece
Your mind has painted
Far surpasses the reality
Of its subject.

When you see each
Glaring imperfection,
The incongruent lines
That shape my body,
The speckled skin
That litters my frame,
Perhaps you'll realize that
This canvas was flawed all along.

Past the impressionist blur of color
So thickly laced with
Your dreams,
There am I,
A harsh form
Captured in still life.
An incomplete charcoal sketch.

It could be that
You've simply
Never been one for realism
And I'm just
"The Girl with a Pearl Earring"
When you always wanted
"Starry Night"