Slice me in half
And look at my insides
Do you see what you wanted
Everything you’ve denied?

Bite away the bruises
That you don’t want to eat
Maybe while your at it
You'll throw me to your feet

Carefully dissect me
Before you take all of me in
Watch out for the worms
Which crawl around within

But don’t I look so pretty?
As I shine down from that tree
Red, and ripe, and delicious
Confined within my dignity

From the outside I am perfect
-ly proportioned to your liking
Yet on the inside you keep finding
Everything disgusting

Eat away at all the beauty
Which I try and try to keep
Till nothing is here to cover m
My core is naked, and I weep

Stars swirl
Little girls twirl
Life is a fantasy
A beautiful world

Nothing to hurt
Nobody would dare
Because that small child
Was never aware

There's Fists pounding
Screams howling
Tears stream down
She's drowning

Innocence gone
What a fun little twist
On the life in the making
New scars on her wrists

She looks to the sky
And wonders out, "why"
This they didn't deserve
Was too soon for goodbyes

It all was a blur
Thought it shoulda been her
She's made plans with the devil
When will he answer?

She stares at the walls which encompass her life
Unsure why she can’t run through them at night
There she sits for countless years
Only to be kept prisoner by her deepest fears

She carries herself like a book with a smile
Judged by the cover, they all want a trial
Yet she’s bound tight by glittering stitches
To hide all of her unhinged glitches

She cannot keep still for half of a second
Dreading the moments she hears a small beckon
Left alone in the mind of a girl
Whose thoughts are dangerous when unfurled

She sees lovers dancing, living in dreams
Not all in this world is what is seems
You ask this girl what’s on her mind: she lies
For all she can do is deny

She carries burdens further every day
Unsure who will let her stay
Focus, let it all be clear
Then drown it out with another beer

She’s not certain who there is left to trust
In a life filled with unwavering lust
Pop another pill, smoke another stick
Anything to lessen the weight of bricks

She stares at these four walls and wants a door
Instead she lies down on the floor
All of these secrets kept inside bars
Filled with loud base and red guitars

She wanders these streets, quiet and obsolete
Who will be next on this long list of cheats
Cold whiskey, bright eyes, and stiletto knives
Where to go next in this web of lies

She floats out of her cage, up to the stars
Leaving the ***** and a hole in her yard
Bury the past, leave behind the secrets
Along with her heart, so no one can take it

She paints her road with glitter and oils
Maybe someday she’ll even be royal
But leave it with this much that will remain true
She’ll never be coming back for you.

What is the line, and how do you draw it
Will you jump over, or fall short and quit?
Does it magically appear, out of thin air
Are you able to draw it when nobody’s there?

Where does it go, when your life falls short
Can something remain, without your support?
When paths cross oceans, do lines cross too
Or do you keep walking forward, without a clue?

These similar traits, can one ever take notice
And if you do cross, does love bloom like a lotus?
Everyone step to the right, cross a line
Entangling pasts in these disarrayed vines

Let These Words Last Forever
may they not be a brush on the lips
Remember the name of that girl, not just the scars on her hips
she will be remembered, she will not back down
not down with the dirt, not down with this town
let her words burn within, and be let out with a scream
she is worth more than the damage, and the memories unseen
she will not only be one to touch your soul,
but **** all ignorant bliss, the world has come to know

Let These Words Be Remembered
for they were not a wasted last breath
lies conceal the darkness, and blur away the rest
she is not a friend, she is not a foe
not even the danger, that keeps you in tow
she is not the wisdom, nor the thoughtless rants
not the petty guidance, for your arguments
she is within you- within the warmth, within the cold
her words will churn the questions, while the answers will unfold

Let These Words Burn Inside You
itching to get out of your skin
be the one to shout out loud, burn in the fire of intelligence
they say she has the street smarts to carry forth a nation
but her shoulders carry more burdens, than room for this creation
so dust off your shoulders- run this town tonight
give in to recklessness, which makes everything feel alright
smile when they say you can’t, and cry when hell breaks loose
don’t let life tie the knots for you, or hang you from its noose

Let These Words Last Forever
free your dying mind
let them soak up the dirt in their fire
and burst out with diamond shine
remember that we once were broken-but now it is our time
we speak in different voices, refuse to listen to our youth
but if you open up your eyes, you’ll see that there is truth
reality needs to be accepted, it’s part of that thing called life
break free from the corruption- defend the backs that take the knife

Let These Words Be Remembered
for there is one thing even you can’t deny
that we walk in this world with our eyes shut tight
but what is left, when you turn your back?
what about those, we’ve all left behind?
said goodbye because they didn’t belong,
didn’t conform to acceptance we’ve all designed
the future cries for change-we’ll be waiting ‘til the day we die
simply because of this one fact-
                    the blind can’t lead the blind

Play off “Where I’m From” written by George Ella Lyon


I am from novels
From thrillers and believers
I am from the roots which keep me grounded
(Deep, Strong
Holding me up right)
I am from the graveyard
A haunting gaze
Whose eyes have seen violence
And tears turned to stone

I am from flashing lights and late nights
From whiskey and cottonmouth
I’m from the runaways
And the poets
From shut up and get out
I’m from please forgive me
With baby, it’ll be okay
And honey he’s better now

I’m from a conventional home
With grilled chicken and extra veggies
From the innocence I have lost
To a monster
The blue eyes I keep shut tight
Under my pillow was a knife
Spilling broken dreams
A sift of faces
To drift beneath my nightmares
I am from these moments—
Snapped before I budded—
Blooming towards the roads ahead

Is someone getting the best of you?
Do they stop, and look at you
And in the morning, do they care
And love the way your body feels

Gotta put up your defenses
Wall up behind those fences
Don’t let them see what they do
When they look deep into you

Will someone try to get through
What will you let them do
Run away before it’s too late
Who’s to say it isn’t fate?

Don’t lose yourself in the beat
Or let your mind fog in the heat
Even though your pulse is racing
Turn around, keep steady pace

Is someone getting the best of you?
Wall up behind those fences
Run away before it’s too late
Turn around, keep steady pace

Never was a child who couldn’t see through the pain
Didn’t think someday there’d be nothing to gain
so where did those dreams go
did it even matter?
clear glass lies shattered
through that home, it was broken
but we left secrets unspoken
don’t you worry child
there will be no more chokin’

you’ll get past those secrets left for deceased
break through those tall walls blocked by the beast
carry those burdens with you to heaven
the ones you’ve been holding since age 7
but where do you go
on a road with no direction
doesn’t matter, no, you just have to take action
watch all those faces
yea, see their reaction
when the girl with no future
blows them to fractions

never was a girl who couldn’t see through the pain
I looked in those small eyes and saw future to gain
Those dreams soared past miles with no light
But she ran faster, knowing the future’s tonight
Drop off those stones
held high on your shoulders
know that in his eyes
you’re one strong soldier
fought for your life and got you to college
prime of your youth
and you got all that new knowledge
soon, you’ll find what you are yearning
but keep pace now, child
this is a long, long journey

She opens her heart
Like a window
For some fresh air

Listens to the winds
And love songs
Chirped from up high

She’s trying to see
What lies on
The other side of her pane

Looking out to the sky
But the sun’s glare
Still impairs her vision

If I’m falling won’t you catch me
Instead you let me crash
Through the sticks and the stones
You threw as apologies

But the worst thing, I think
Is that I let you tell me
Magical words of “love” and “harmony”
Only to leave with “bye”

Still I get up and stand tall
I don’t need a wonder wall
To get me through that endless ray
Where I can finally find the sun

Being weak again fills my fear
I will not be stuck again
Tumbling through the waves
Of broken promises you made

I need to stand tall, straight
Plant my two solid feet
And grow a new perspective
On this thing called love

My stomach churns and is stuck in knots
Wondering if you’ve forgot
How much you meant in my life
Until you disappeared tonight

But as the words slid easily from your tongue
My heart cried rivers
Never thought you’d be the one
To leave my heart torn and undone

My mind screams silently and blames me
But I just couldn’t make you see
I needed something more to hold
Besides the lies you continuously told

This isn’t what I want to hear
Don’t sit there and tell me you’re always here
Show me how you really feel
Or else this end is forever real

And as those words slide from your tongue
My heart cries rivers
You are still only hurting my heart
And that is what keeps tearing us apart

She stumbles down these roads which lie
A thousand miles to get her by
But which path is the road she’s taken
Lies awake for a past mistaken
As a choice

It was not her choice

She was beat, forced down on knees bruised black
Told her she had not a chance for attack
But you sit there and call her a *****
For acts she’s only been told to do before
It was not her choice

As a choice

She ran farther than black roads could take her
Past those who said they did her a favor
But where can she turn on a path without light
All she can see are the stars in the night
As a choice

It was not her choice

She lied awake, and tried to scream
Wrote it all down in her pages unseen
But now her past has come to haunt them
Because of her memories she’s condemned
It was not her choice

As a choice

She runs faster than crashing waves
Through lines of friends that go for days
But who will save her if she falls
She’s running so fast, after all
As a choice

It was not her choice

She unzips slowly down her spine
Will you be her valentine?
Lips to linger at your kiss
Soft hands reach for wanted bliss

Who will save this girl defined
Untamed, reckless valentine

Someone love her as she’s wished
Hold her tight, do not vanish
Show her there is love this time
Since you’ll be her valentine

your fingertips

linger

and icicles

whisper

while snow

filters

the windows

sparkle

the past

unseen

leaves me

clean

Underneath your feet
We snap like twigs
And our souls moan
like a thousand rustling leaves

Underneath your weight
Our bones break
And the heart aches
while a dull thunder rumbles

Underneath your gaze
Your lies spill
And helplessly my mind
wants to trust

Underneath your curse
My life flashes
As I wait
for a thousand suns to sparkle

Another night to spend alone
No-one’s arms to call my home
Snow falling upon cedars
Silencing the land

Move on, get over it
Though I cannot forget
But passion’s still coursing
Through my veins

All I want is to be somebody
You love, suddenly
From head to toe
I forgive you

Because I know that its true
When you say ‘I love you’
Somewhere I know
We’ll get through

So I watch these snow stars
Cover all the ugly scars
Deep on the Earth’s skin
Cover me softly

Deep into a winter’s slumber
No more thoughts to take me under
Something old and something new
New found love; for you

Get me out of this skin
Stop these words and sins
They’re crawling within

My motto’s overrated
And my rep is getting jaded
I’m falling again

Red lipstick, pearl bits
Cover up those hits
Silence the cries

We don’t need another
Fake, replace the other
*****, go hide

Get her out of that skin
Or wait for her spin
Out of control

Her motto’s overrated
Sprawled on the pavement
Kicking her ribs

Red bruises, heartaches
Hearing her bones break
Showing the lies

We don’t need another
Fake, story-line or
Smile, all smiles

Get them out of her skin
Monsters are crawling within
Lifetimes she’ll deny

I’m trying to find you
But I’m afraid I’m trying to find me
Inside of you
I scratch my fingernails
Across your skin
I want to find what’s hidden within

Underneath those eyes
Who are you hiding?
What are we denying
As we slide between the sheets
Trying to be complete
Trying

To find you, me
I trace your every contour
While our bodies lay to rest
I can’t sleep
Knowing there’s more
Then I see


Looking for the answers
Questions locked
Underneath those smiles
Lie what we seek
To know
But refuse to show

Sometimes I feel I have to pull away
Get away
Run away
So the winds won’t catch me
And these vines won’t trap me
where I’ll just be stuck
Again
With nothing

Now I keep trying to sprint fast
Away from the past
To find myself without needing
The one thing I’m never seeing
This invisibility cloak
Is now only starting to choke me

There are times when I want to run back
Straight into those arms
That picked me up high
-er than the bright blue sky
And took me places where I felt loved
Those arms that held me
Once, upon a time

Now, I need to keep my head high
Tell myself a little white lie
That I am happy
When inside my head is screaming
For time to just stop
Ticking
Ticking
Ticking

As it slowly winds un-sane
Keep in mind it’s all a game
Beg for mercy from the spawn
To let you slip
Too fast, too slow
No grasp, No more
ticking

sometimes it hurts so much
that dull ache turns sharp
heart-breaKer
**** taker
*****, make her

crawl on her kNees to get to you
tear away her skin
and make her sin, for you

love hurts, after all
in its twisted Games
OF placing the blame
it's all on her heart-
break her

til Her bones snap
and she falls flat
Enough for you to walk over
her fragile frame
whose fault to blame?

when we all play love
by its unruled chart
and try to create Art
where words can't be spoken
hearts will be bRoken

he'll Take her there
where alls fair- in love and war
she can't take anymore
but her Silence is golden

We cry behind cold stares
While thoughts prevail behind the stair-
Cases winding deep and sharp
Careful of the steepest part

We hide behind fake smiles
While inside our bones break-
Ing down the final door
Locked to keep out memory’s war

We shrink behind our lovely lies
While still the past you can’t deny-
Ingly walking straight on toward
A future broken and uncured

We laugh to keep our feet in motion
While sinking underneath the ocean-
Waves so high they can’t be beat
You’ll die unknown and obsolete

You’re happy
I let you
So I shouldn’t feel shame, right?
Wrong, I do
Falling underneath this black
And blue- bruises
On my body
But mostly my heart
Scars filled with art
And pain inside these eyes
Hidden deep beneath those lies

But I let you, right?
Wrong, I screamed
Silent prayers, and threats,
And suicides
Where then you left me to reside
Deep inside the hatred lining
Of the eyes who refuse crying
Never give in
No thing is a sin

I shouldn’t feel guilty
Nor feel the shame
Behind an old lie- turned to game
But when I’m left
Cold and undressed
I beg for the strength
To take me from this brink
Happiness please, for me first
Instead I still cringe; a touch given curse

When you stabbed me in the back
It hit me like a bomb
Didn’t realize I’d need you
Once you were gone

And when we were young
I sought out the best
Thought I knew you better
Better, than all the rest

Nope
Your just another joke
Another reason I said
I could never lose hope

The camera flashes
With the rest of the crew
The ones who’d pretend
They never knew

When you stabbed me in the back
It didn’t hurt so bad
Must’ve been expecting it
You follow the pack

And once we Had a friendship
I didn’t think would end
Never saw me falling
Once I turned around the bend

Doesn’t matter
None of you were true
Doesn’t matter
None of you were true

All these little *******
Holding up their noses high
Don’t wana keep a friend
With a past they cant deny

I hope your house looks lovely
Was gonna be mine too
Thank god it wont be now though
Cause I know im more than through

With all the ******* you say
And fake smiles across the board
Keep each other close now
Cause the psych is out the ward

I need you
Right now
As I’m falling
Blindly flailing
Out of control
    Flashbacks
To painful lies
And scarlet lines
Sprawled open
My life is
No fairytale
Cover to cover
    We all have
Our own demons
To fight
Our own dreams
Tonight
Our own nightmares
Today

I need you
To heal me
Because I’m slipping
Too quickly
The ember lies
Are catching blaze
    I had to
Back far away
From that knife
That could end
    His life
But bring me
Down deeper
Past the hell
I face everyday

I need you
Tonight
Because these lips
So sealed tight
    Are cracking
And they’re bleeding
While my tears
Are drowning
Those dreams
     For my future

So, please
I need you
Hold me tight

I wanted to be the object of your affection
Instead I’ve become the standard
      of idealized perfection

shiny, blonde hair with skin tanned even
ruby red lips, baby blues
and that loving the life attitude

when what’s beneath the surface bubbles
these lips are so red because they bleed
from the silence they keep

eyes so blue from the ocean of tears
built up from the dark truth
      and wisdom of the years

skin tanned even in attempt
to hide the scars
showing what we really are

smile up front and always laughing
because those who look happy,
are happy… right?

I wanted to be the motion of change
Instead I’ve become the standard
      Ball and chain

Kept back from the past
Full of locked doors and dark closets
Stay strong now, hide all the scarlet

When what’s beneath the surface bubbles
Screaming a monster
To repay her troubles

Taking the blows from a father so dear
His embrace was so cold
      It filled her with fear

in bed she laid with a knife in her hand
daring the chance
to give in to the monster’s trance

well, the monster still lies underneath this bed
as she sits at her desk, drawing lines of red
now say ‘cheese’, everything’s alright

I wanted to be the reason for life
Instead I’ve become the standard
      Symbol of strife

She walks among these streets
So quiet and obsolete
As you look in her eyes and wonder
How the crashing waves pulled her under
                -neath this skin she wears too tight

Never pausing to take in a breath
Because time is all she has left
Those eyes travel deep as a hidden valley
carry more secrets than a pope in an alley
                -watching, trusting, never judging

Green, and blue, but mostly grey
Are the eyes that tell you, he will pay
Burdened with the past she never wanted
And stapled open with looks that haunted
                -while she saw nightmares in her wake

They smile with a force that holds
So stiff, she’s walked on like roads
But look a little close into her gaze
Wander past the fences that run for days
                -somewhere, you can find her

In a land where memories can fade
Run away with no “should I have stayed?”
Those lips so full can finally speak
Of the tragedy that floods her eyes for weeks
                -no more skies of grey

Crystal blue with no musk to darken
The story told will only lighten
No more glass to crawl and scratch the skin
Only a love that’s unleashed within
                -beauty, you are being saved

You **** me like a stripper
Then you **** me like a *****
But in the end you love me
While we’re rolling on the floor

You make me moan
And I make you roar
But also whisper you love me
And always know when I need more

You wrap your hands around my throat
And tell me to beg again
But your hands also caress me
And lips kiss me times ten

You tie me up and make me blind
And throw me across the room
But your eyes say that you love me
And my hearts love full-blooms

You turn me around and squeeze tight
And pull me by the hair
But I know our love is flawless
What would I do without you here?

I just keep getting up for the let down

What the **** is wrong with people in this town?

Telling you to be who you are

But then laughing about your hidden scars



When I was little?

I saw the TRUTH

I saw past the innocent years of my youth

And when you cried, I refused to back away

I will always be here, for you, here to stay



Now we play games

And hide behind walls of white lies

But can’t you see this past we just can’t deny?

I refuse to let go, I refuse to give in

Because in this life you’ve got two choices

                -Sink or swim



Well, I chose to keep going

And I choose to see past

Everything, that I let slip away too fast

This next shot I’m taking

Though my hands won’t stop shaking

I take aim, and squeeze these eyes tight

                [Swoosh]



I won’t fall tonight

I will keep these feelings right

-underneath this dress of armor

Keeping those out from my heart

Keep it locked up, keep it closed in

Don’t always follow what’s screaming from within



Block out those tiny voices- let them

Falter into whispers

Prevent your heart’s swooning by another mister

And when you look to the sky

Never, ever, close those bright blue eyes

Because baby, your love is just in disguise

I can’t write
These secrets won’t stop binding me tight
They keep getting tighter til my sight goes white


I just feel sick
Like I can’t stop swallowing all these thoughts
Drowning myself as my blood clots

My stomach aches
And I can’t keep down any food
Not even chocolate can fix my mood

My head spins
As I see you slowly fading away
When I always thought you’d be here to stay

My body falls
All these weights crushing me under
And pounding harder than the thunder

The tears won’t stop
And you know that I never cry
So why can’t you just answer, why?

I wanted to be Irreplaceable
Not just Smart and Beautiful

like a Van Gogh painting Starry night
a Range of motion you can’t Hold tight

Trace my every painterly stroke
hold too Tight ill only Choke

but as I walk out into those fields
I cast Away that armor and shield

and run straight to that Unclear Figure
who Pulls my hand off of that Trigger

Still, Life has become to me
I can’t say you will ever Clearly see

anything I put on My Canvas
until Long after I’m Buried with this

Beauty, in Painted layers, Deep
My final portrait is for You to Keep

when I was little
I Climbed a thousand trees
Ran through dark forests
and Scraped my knees
but I Picked myself up
Every Time I Fell Down
the Smile of my Youth
Turned everything Around

when I was a child
I saw people for the Truth
I saw in their eyes the Miles
of Hurt or Pain with No Proof
but what I Didn’t notice
was the Pain inside my heart
I didn’t understand this,
was Tearing me Apart

when I was a preteen
I started to like boys
I found out girls are mean
and that men Treat you like Toys
but even though They Hurt Me
I kept Pushing myself Forward
thought I could make them See
that everything was Backward

when I turned 16
I fell Down a Spiraled black hole
Tried to walk the streets Unseen
at least Never Showing what he Stole
Silently I Suffered
Blood falling Down my arms
my whole Reality was altered
but I set off no Alarms

when I turned _ _
I looked back on my life
and what I Realized
was how my back took that Knife
I’m definitely Happy
don’t deny me what I’m Feeling
but when my days go ******
I now know what He was Stealing

when I Grew Up
I was 14 years old
my Eyes had gotten Darker
and my blood was running Cold
my Innocence had been Stolen
while I tried to Find My Dreams
Instead those dreams were Broken
and No one heard my Screams

Mama always told me
Happy people have friends
So I smile smile smile
Laugh laugh, giggle
Until my stomach shakes
Forcing me to purge more laughter
                    Even Though my heart quakes

She said
People like happy people
So I brush up those pearly whites
Ruby up those pretty lips
And give people all my attention
Forcing myself to smile, smile
              Tears hanging in suspension

Mama always said smile
It’s the key to a healthy life
So I smile smile smile
Laugh laugh, choke
On all of my lifetime’s lies
Forcing those baby blues shut tight
                Nobody can read these eyes

She said
That we weren’t broken
So I never questioned her
Love glued together with expired gum
Was a family unscripted
Forcing a hug way too tight
              Cause daddy was enlisted

Mama always told me
It’s okay to cry
So I told her I had no reason
Smiled, and walked away
While then I laid inside my bed
Forcing myself to stay silent
             For to wake in the morning, I’d dread

She said
Someday, things will get better
So I wait and wait anxiously
And laugh, and laugh, and choke
On all of my lifetime’s lies
Forcing these baby blues shut tight
           Nobody can read these eyes

my Nightmares wake me Screaming
out of Fear or strength or anger I don’t know
         I Cut his Throat
So why isn’t my stomach Squealing?

the Nightmares Shake me deeply
as I Sweat and Toss and Whip through
         I just Broke his arm
So why isn’t my body Gangly

These Nightmares Quake within me
Crying and Screaming I Shout
         Today I got him Point Blank
only difference is,
                                  this time, I Woke Up.

***** money speaks for itself
As our secrets stack higher than towers
And our eyes hungry, devour

***** honeys sit on the shelf
‘Til their broken down without power
And their eyes hungry, devour

***** bodies, are you yourself?
Their breaking down our armor
And all eyes hungry, devour

I.
Secrets Erupting
Silently pouring from me
Volcanoes can ****




II.
Lava burns to dust
as my world quickly quakes
and turns to Black Stone




III.
You can Dig me up
a thousand years my Future
to find out my Past

Darling, where has the daylight gone
I see you stumbling down those streets
and see the corners where you meet
Tell me, what is really wrong

Twinkle, twinkle like a star
as you slowly fade away in the sky
Inhale deep to get you high
Tell me, where you really are

Falling, till the meteor Crashes
Down on those knees tonight
what is wrong and what is Right
Tell me, where’d you get those gashes

Blacken, as midnight turns about
Left by yourself with no one to Help
No one to even hear you yelp
Screaming, Screaming, let me out

The moon looks with a broken eye
Isn’t it supposed to shine?
                Full and bright
While the sea also stares as black as night
With barely a ripple
                No blue in sight

The forest sleeps so silently
Where have all the songbirds gone?
                Singing loudly
But this silence screams softly
With stunning spells
                We hear unconsciously

The mountains peak so high
Can we ever reach the top?
                Instead we fall
Through sharp rocks we crawl
Begging for freedom
                From these prison walls

i can't see
i don't know where i should be
               tumbling
           stumbling
down this long and winding road
maybe this path, will be my ode
to         w a k e
                         u p
i can't go to sleep
instead i find myself time to weep
               silently
            blindingly
the sun shines in through my window
as i roll over and pick myself up from this low
         and walk to the light
what is day and what is night?
                    when i can't see
and i don't know where
                    i should be

dear savior, i pray for you my soul to keep
and if you shall not reap
i will give in to this new day
without throwing my life away

I am white

Paint me colors dark and bright
Splatter me with your vengeful reds
And share with me your heated head
Drown me in your sorry blues
Greens and violet saddened hues
Orange and yellow shine so bright
Don’t forget those starry nights
Where your laughter painted me
The range of colors below the sea

Share with me your body’s print
By pressing up against my canvas
And when you pull away, go slow
So the paint will leave me every crevasse

I am blank

Write on me to make me dank
And don’t forget that time you cried
Or every time you’ve told a lie
Scribble down your words with ink
Don’t pause to leave you time to think
Memories make for the rest
Tell me when you felt your best
Days of laughter in your ears
Gave you wisdom beyond your years

Share with me your deepest thoughts
By writing down every moment
And when you go to shut me closed
I’ll have your soul within my parchment

I am open

Fly through my wide arm’s haven
Darkness may enclose at times
And hate may be your biggest crime
Throw away those heavy burdens
Walk away from empty basins
Come to me with an open mind
Because this love wants to unwind
Leave behind those darkest hours
For I’ll carry you with all my power


Share with me a love so true
By holding tight with laughter
Because when the bright sky shines
We know there’s before, and after

Slice me in half
And look at my insides
Do you see what you wanted
Everything you’ve denied?

Bite away the bruises
That you don’t want to eat
Maybe while your at it
Youll throw me to your feet

Carefully dissect me
Before you take all of me in
Watch out for the worms
Which crawl around within

But don’t I look so pretty?
As I shine down from that tree
Red, and ripe, and delicious
Confined within my dignity

From the outside I am perfect
-ly proportioned to your liking
Yet on the inside you keep finding
Everything disgusting

Eat away at all the beauty
Which I try and try to keep
Till nothing is here to cover me
My core is naked, and I weep

There’s a letter I’ve been writing to you
Trying to write down all that’s true
But I keep ripping
Stitching
Erasing
                Everything
Because nothing feels right
Our love was as a star is bright
And as we shot for the moon
                You carried me
High,
Above the blackened sea

Where I’m now drowning
Deep, and out of sight
Help me end this hurt tonight
Because I can’t take it
I can’t fake it
I can’t shake this

Burden rock which sinks me
As I struggle for the light which guides me
The current keeps winning
I’m no longer swimming
It is still
                Calm
The sea surrounds me
In this deep blue light
No burdens to hold me tight
                Serene
Peace, flows through my veins
As I tell myself it’ll be okay
But I’m not done fighting

No
I wanna see the stars
Gaze at me from where you are
Because I know
You learned from your mistake
You let me fall in all your grace

I fell through the surface
And sunk below
That glass ceiling wouldn’t go
But I threw my burdens
                At that wall
And shattered glass flew up tall
Where it stung you
And you looked down
To see me lying on the ground
You lift me up
                Up, and away
With a smile I see so perfectly
Within all of your imperfections
Even with my misdirection
We end up here

This sun so bright
And we are blinding
With our love tonight

the world is one ****** up, crazy, beautiful place.
we are all bipolar in our own minds and confused with our existance
we make something of ourselves based on the lies we are fed everyday
we judge  everyone and EVERYTHING, because we are always comparing
we are always ready to compare something to another thing
and that is what makes us so ******* disgusting
STOP.
and ******* listen.
listen to the steady beat of a child, and a rapidly chaotic beating of one on the brink of death

listen to the racial slurs and gender specifications and ****** orientations we implement every day

listen to the laughter and to the sobbing and to the screaming of a ‘happy’ home

listen to the gunshots and tortured souls and heartbroken soldiers footsteps on foreign land

******* listen to the things which make human beings human

women are not plastic and molded exactly the same to be sold in window displays at the mall

soldiers are not heartless and unbreakable to the bone

children who laugh are not always happy, naiive and carefree

why do we always have to listen to the media or to our best friends or our families opinions?
you have your own brain and heart
use them, and  stand up for yourself, for others, for the world
because the world cannot heal by itself
we need to act.
now.

I remember when pink tights
Were classier than skin tight
And those days when I looked up to the sky
Not because my friend just died, but because it was pretty
When the ice cream man wasn’t a creep
Just a nice jolly man staying off the streets
           Giving me ice cream when mommy wouldn’t
I remember playing my mixed tapes
Without thinking about the next ipod6 point oh
The time when I walked to the edge of my driveway just to sing
Not because I wanted to run from everything
The days when punishment was not being allowed to play outside
        Now punishment follows you till the day you die
I remember using my imagination to build myself a new world
Full of color and swirls and ice cream and day long trips to the playground
The times I couldn’t think straight because laughter wouldn’t stop ringing
       Ringing, ringing in my ears

Now I’m forced to fall down, bow down;
Hell bound in a society which does not forgive
Forced to swallow your huge fists and cheap tricks without a tear
        Swallow, swallow, don’t spit *****, swallow
Pick up those bricks lined on the sidewalk named time and enemy
And carry them to your next destination
Where you can drop them off while you pick up memory
Let’s take a walk down memory lane and see where it leads us
        The next ally is hell
Hell, maybe your memories take you somewhere different
I hope they take you places I never went
Places I plan on going someday, someway
       When everything changes
Changes like the leaves change during autumn
Jingles like the change in my pocket; echoing as I walk the silent streets
Attempting to be discreet; but jingling nonetheless
As I walk up to the man who pushed me down, watched as I drowned
And sock it to him
        Right in the face; Put him in his place
Because there is no place for him in my life
No place like home, no place like home
       Home was hell
And trust me; there is no place like the fires and wrath you’ll feel if you come home
       Ill be home for Christmas darling
Because isn’t this the life you wanted, isn’t daddy oh so charming
As he kicks us down the stairs and screams that he just doesn’t care
Thanks for the memories
Yea; I’ll be sure to stomp one to him
And rub the dog **** off my sneaker while I’m at it
Hopefully some of the spit he spat at Me will wipe off too
So yea, sure… I remember
       But I’m moving on
On and onward towards the lights shining brighter than the sun
To a place where the oceans so calm drown the fires
A place where they deny all the liars
       All but one
                Me
Because I spent my life wrapped up in my lies
Tied down by everything I tried to deny
Chained to the past as my mind ****** my future
Mind ****** out of my own mind and into another’s without a ******
Nobody knew what they were getting themselves into
       Until I gave them a piece of my disease
A little bit of my depression
Made its own kind of impression
On everyone who made an attempt to understand
But enough about that-- I’m not here to chit chat
About what I’m moving past
       As long as I pass all of my classes
Despite those, I’m pouncing forward
When I get out of here I'll jump to the moon
       Watch me
Someday I’ll have a new way with a new mood and a new dude
Who will know, but won’t be fooled by the show
Instead he’ll know my truest laughter
And he’ll know that the past doesn’t matter
Because I am me
       Let me be
And I will continue to live and breathe and smile for awhile and cry when I lie
And drink with my shrink and laugh with power during this hour of MY time

It’s my time to shine

Where has our honesty gone?
The world is spinning out of perspective

Individualists
More like conventionalists

Wanting to be a free soul
Instead, we’re losing control

How do we define different?

“Different
            A pseudo-polite way of saying something is unpleasantly weird or unacceptable”                      [www.urbandictionary.com]


What about individual?

“individual
         Individual's may actually conform, just to prove that they are individual from other individuals...
        There is no definition of an individual, for to define an individual is hideously oxymoronic.”                     [www.urbandictionary.com]

All of these rules and ideologies
Which become more like mythologies

Giving us a…what… purpose?
Because without one were all worthless?

How does the media propel
Drive some great minds down to hell

But wait, sometimes those scars
Are not the real person they are

What about the girl next door
Is she perfect? Or is she a *****

How come the prepped up ****
Gets a thousand girls to put his ****-
-Y  attitude towards

What about all those hipsters
“individualists” in all their glister

PROTOTYPES
We are always followed

“To be, or not to be”
Now THAT  is a real question

Why cant we all just BE

F R E E

Within our own minds
Refuse ourselves to be confined

But no matter where we go
The world will be a tv show
[scripted and masked]

Because the crazy professor who screamed in the crowd
Did a small scene from a movie out loud

And the individualist across the street
Got her haircut from Georgia O’deet

While the artist down the road
Saw his painting when it snowed

Though its obvious we refuse to admit defeat
Individual doesn’t march to its own beat