Believe me
When I say I want to write
And you're the only one
Holding me back
and at the same time
Inspiring me

I'm trading sticks of cigarette for a poem
Bottles of beer for a few more
Whiskeys make me forlorn
Why not a few more poems
So I scribble and scribble some more

I'm trading my loneliness for lines
Rhymed or rhymeless, why should I mind
When the please the eyes and tickles the mind
I sure will memorize and mimic them like a mime
So I'm still scribbling on this torn paper of mine

I'm trading my hearts pain
Trading it for a paper and a pen
Like a painter ready to paint
I deep my petite paint brush in a bowl of paint
Dap dap, little dots, strokes and dashes as I dare to paint
Little by little the whole picture is becoming plain

I'm trading all love's tears
Tears shade in secrecy for a poem shared publicly
Though seemingly absurd but poems brings this inconceivable peace.
So I'm scribbling and scribbling my way to serenity.

I trade it all for a piece of poem
I may not have made the point
But I've washed clean my plough
And starring at this beautiful not-so-beautiful poem
I have read and reread it that it is starting to sound like a song.
Reading one last time, "my best trade ever".

She wants me to love her
Give my attention to her
Like a queen, treat her

I cannot do that
Not because it is not what I want
But because I lack the capacity to do that

If I had a heart
I will glut her with more than she asks
If I had a heart she will be the rhythm of my heart's dance.

How can I love you
When you already have my heart
How can I give you attention
When you have my clock
How can I treat you like a queen
When you have taken over my throne

Simply put
I love you helplessly.
My heart and time is with thee
Just do with it as you please.

Why do you always
Let me down.
Leave me standing
In the pouring rain.
It's always the same...

You make promises,
Knowing you can't keep them.
I won't let you down,
I'll be there.
But it's always the same...

You don't show up,
You leave me waiting.
You hurt me so much,
My heart is aching.
But it's always the same...

You don't love me,
You don't care.
Don't come to me,
Telling me that you do.
But it's always the same...

I got caught up,
I had to do something,
I woke up late,
I didn't realise the time.
It's always the same...

If you don't want to see me,
Tell me please.
I can't live my days
Aching to see your face.
But it's always the same...

I'll make it up to you,
I promise.
Another promise broken,
More to add to your *******.
But it's always the same....

Sometimes I don't care,
Sometimes I give up.
Then you make me
Yet another fake promise.
It's always the same...

Why can't I let go
Of the moments
Of the memories
We share.
It's always the same...

I can't let go,
I can't forget.
How much I loved you
Once upon a time.
It's always the same...

I guess I'm just
A lovesick idiot.
Holding onto hope,
That one day you'll love me too.
But it's always the same...

Could it be,
This tiny life growing inside me
So miraculously.

Could the future be so uncertain,
Could we lift this huge curtain.
So we could cherish the moments we spend.
Me and you,
Mother and son.

But everyone will make their opinions known,
Of how they feel about me and you.
Your grandma will disown us,
Your grandpa won't accept us.

Your dad isn't ready for this,
It's a big leap of commitment you see?

Will I have to let you go?
If I do, I want you to know.
That I'll always love you
No matter what.
My diamond,
My sunshine,
My star,
My child it's you I adore...