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The world turned upside down
My life did as well
Everything is on hold
It's the middle of the night again
And here I am, again
Typing up a poem
Thinking it might make me feel better
And it does
Laying on a couch.
With the world.
Spinning around you.
No chores, tasks,
worries, only calm.
Every muscle still.
Though the mind.
Runs faster, faster.
Until finally, stop.
Sleep, my love
I am surrounded by people
Everyone staring, waiting
When will the show start
How will it end
Faces gathered around me
Their eyes sparkling with excitement
While I do nothing
I stare back at their gazes
Waiting for them to do something
When will they throw a lifeline
Am I still worth saving


I watch them watching me drown
I was not worth saving
I won't get help, but cannot sleep.

even when the night goes to bed.

I'm stuck here counting sheep.

Wanting so much to be dead.



For death offers rest.

A nap from the dark.

Oh, God, I'm stressed.

There is no more spark.



The spark in my life has gone.

Vanished, the night took it.

Just like it took the dawn.

Now it wants me to quit.



Quit whining about bedtime.

But bedtime lasts forever.

The sun won't ever shine.

Mr. Dark thinks he's clever.



I am still awake.

I only want to cry.

My soul has an ache.

The thing left is to die.
There was a young lady called Anne
All the way home she ran
But she never thought
That maybe she ought
To just stay away from the ram
We both fell in love
With eachother, it is true
Please never leave me
Thought I was happy
Now I have gone back again
Why is it so dark?
Bed
Bed
Soft, fluffy pillows
I could easily fall asleep
So I think I will
Why do I care for people I don't know?
When my life is the equivalent of stepping on burning coals.
It spreads like fire
Everyone is affected
Earth is screaming
People die
We lose loved ones
I am scared
A poem a day
Keeps the doctors away
They should cure my head
December nights are different than the rest
In December I lie awake and listen to Christmas songs
In December I lie awake finding presents for my loved ones
In December I lie awake thinking about what I'll cook over the holidays
Why can't every month be December?
You won't ever see this
Why would you, you don't like poetry
But I have to get this off my chest
I am deeply madly in love with you.
I have been in love with you for a whole year now
And you don't even know it
Because I'm afraid I will lose you if I tell
I'm afraid we'll stop being friends
That I might ruin this thing
By being deeply madly in love with you
Perhaps one day I'll tell you
Or maybe I won't
But in my heart I will always know
That I am deeply madly in love
I ran from them for a while
Thought they'd given up
Now they're back
Scratching at me with sharp claws
I'm scared
I could be resentful and wish you to Hell
To see you suffer and burn but oh well.
I guess I could be a person of God
And send you to heaven isn't that odd.

In hell you will find all the suffering dead
But in heaven the dead are all safe in a bed.
Lucifer whispers that you should go down
The voice from above that you are a crown.

You are a jewel that should not be spent
And at the same time you'll not leave a dent.
I will not miss you wherever you go
Maybe you could've listened to my no.

You are monster and in Hell you belong
But I cannot send you that is all wrong
If you say you're sorry I'll send you to heaven
But if you will not then you go down at eleven.
From the great abyss of the heavens
A fragile flower came
Down to Earth it crashed
Saved by no one
But itself
It is daytime at night
The sky is filled with some light
We find a lake
And a farm
Pick a spot
Eating late

Find a magical world
Honey you are my pearl
Look at you
Beautiful
Shed a tear
Lovable

Get away
Together only two
Get away
Please love me too

And then the years go by
Disappear, mostly lost
Precious happy tears
We are old
We are old

Let us both disappear
Say bye bye to your dear
Sing a song
Play some cards
We can let down our guards

I'll raise a tent
Wonderful
You'll eat 'til your stomachs full

By a hill
Playing games
Now it's fun
Think I'll stay
Happy perhaps once more
New beginnings for the Earth
Year of renewal
How are you?
Are you in love too?
It's wonderful isn't it?
I wish you luck
My stomach says yes
My brain says no
Who should I trust?
Guess food's off the table
To be a raindrop
Falling out of the grey sky
Hitting the ground hard
It no longer hurts to smile
I  made some new friends
Stating the obvious
I am happy now
I want to sing but I don't know the notes
I want to run but I don't have legs
I want to cook but I don't have a recipe
I want to have fun but I don't have friends
I want to live but I don't have the will
There is only one thing that gets me out of bed
That smell of roasted dark beans
Ground up and put in a glass jar
Steaming hot water poured over them
To make the sound of angels
Then pressed down to make every single
Particle of flavour seep into the dark brown water
Pour the liquid into my favourite mug
And smile as I sip and look at the beautiful day outside
Sunshine on the beach
A beautiful, fair girl skips
portrayed by the queen
Life is full of ups and downs
Actually it is only ups and downs
I am bipolar
"Love poems are not my thing"
I said
Before falling in love
Blossom
Frailest, fragrant
Flourishing, thriving, wilting
Ever so pink
Flower
I keep lying
and lying and lying and lying
And when I'm confronted about my lies
I lie more

My life is a lie
I don't tell the truth
Why do people listen
When all I say are lies
Masks are good
They keep the plague contained
They keep it away

Masks hide my face
They conceal my emotions
They keep me away

Masks are bad
They stop me breathing
They keep help away
Goes high up the tree
Just a little bird singin the highest c
And holds it thight

When the town is still
Finishing the cup
And brushing grimey teeth
I go outside

When I'm out about
The people keep on coming like in a crowded bar
And I see that like it goes
Some are alone
others go hand to hand

Evening cocktail bars
Maybe go outside
And maybe go to far
That's war

And even though it hurts
I don't feel a thing
When others say that different hands are different to the touch

But when the sun goes dow
I do what I think is best
Watch Bruce Lee on DVD
Just you and me and SunnyD
This is based on an Icelandic song. I recommend listening to it. It's called Háa C with Moses Hightower.
My tears

Drip              Drip        Drip
Drip        
Drip                Drip
Drip

All over the place

As blood

P       P        P       P
O      O        O       O
U       U        U      U
R       R        R       R
S       S         S       S

Out of my ******
Crying over spilt milk won't do any good
But licking it off the floor is acceptable
Watching the sunrise
It's so very beautiful
Can I go to bed?
When I dream I dream of a place.
A place of great wonder and pleasant surprises.
Where everyone is as perfect as the feeling you get when fitting the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle.
Where there is always peace and quiet and love.
So much love.
An endless, perfect, undying love.
That is the place I dream of.
But when I wake up and reality comes flooding back like when water hits a spoon at too great a speed.
That's when I wish I could go back to sleep.
When I wish the whole world had the same dream as I did tonight.
Then maybe we, humankind, could make reality as a dream.
With love.
Crying at 4:37 am
Hoping to fall
No, not asleep
But from a building
Eyelids so heavy
The sound of snoring
Echos through a house
Back against a mattress
Muscles aching
For a chance to rest
Soon the switch
Will turn off
No
No
Life is no longer real
It floods over and around me
But never touches me
Days and nights go by
I don't remember them
I'm just numb
There is no pain
No happy either
Just an existence
I exist
Therefore I must think
But there is nothing
To think about
Only a fog
Fogginess in my brain
And everywhere
There is no life
It was always fake
It's 00:41 and my heart
Is pounding out of my chest
My breathing is fast and shallow
I can feel my throat tighten up
The bed is shaking because of me
Me and someone else
No, not the one you're thinking of
Not a lover
An abuser
Someone who is ******* my life up
With his mind games and tricks
He's not a good person
I don't even think he is one
He is inhuman
I call him Hell
You might know him as Anxiety
The raven sleeps in a valley of rocks
On a cold winters night
Anything might **** him
Anything might **** him
Until morning rises again
The first day of snow
A travel cup with tea
Steaming in the cold
Perhaps this winter
Won't be so bad
My shiny snake, you inspire me to write.
I hate the way you slither, look and hiss,
Invading my mind day and through the night,
Always dreaming about our first real kiss.

Let me remember where I went astray,
When you turned creepy, clever and awful.
Do you realise just how much evil dismay,
You caused me with your plight oh so painful.

How do I hate you? Let me count the ways.
I hate your terrible smile, tongue and eyes.
Thinking of your woeful words fills my days.
My hate for you can only grow in disguise.

Now I must away with a weepy heart,
Remember my cruel words whilst we're apart.
Laying on a couch.
While the world
steps on the breaks.
No chores, tasks,
worries, only calm.
Every muscle still.
Though the mind
runs faster, faster.
Until finally,

everything stops.
Mad
Angry
Furious

I want rights
The right to be myself
Right to my body and my mind
The justice of being here
My choice
Children
Partners
Who is my family?
The opposition must fall

Sad
Bleek
Death
I take a pill every night
It dissolves in my stomach
It makes me hurt
Nausea and headaches
Every night
It makes my head better
But my body worse
Poems are different
Like people and watches
They take different forms
From odes and to dactyls

A poem could be
A sonnet by Shakespeare
Or maybe you'd like
Funny limericks like Ed Lear

Some poems take shapes
And put them in concretes
While others write lyrics
That keep for them secrets

Many poems have structure
Like haikus and epics
Others float freely
Like elegy ekphrastics

That's it for poems
Though many are left
On this very website
Are some of them kept
You don't need to believe in God
To believe in yourself
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