One dimensional
That's a good phrase for what we are
We tease, we play, sometimes we talk
Mostly we lust
And that's it
I have grown accustomed to your body
Your pale shoulder blades
and the light that shines through
your bedroom window
illuminating your body
The way you say my name
like no other man
has ever said my name
The compliments you give me
on my small waist,
my *******,
my hair,
my eyes,
my laugh
Our relationship has become
safe, standard
But the other night
You kissed my neck
Normal
You kissed my mouth
Normal
You told me you cared
Not so normal
This is not our usual rapport
Instead of replying
with any semblance of concern
I unbottoned your shirt
And as I kissed the soft skin
Of your hips
Your belly
Your chest
I heard something novel
It was your heartbeat,
so excited to be near me --
It was so intimate,
I almost withdrew
But I only held you tighter
When I sat on the edge of your mattress
Fighting sleep
While you laid behind me, eyes closed
You traced the outline of my spine
Your touch so gentle
It sent shivers through my body
I kissed you
Not out of lust
But because
you made me so happy that night
Today I saw you on the street.
You looked right through me.
I had the option of reaching out
And I didn't
I won't put the blame on you
But it left me so conflicted
How am I supposed to express my feelings
genuine, real feelings
when I can't even find the nerve
to say hello