i even remembered the way your voice cracked
as you told me you didnt love me.
you didnt break my heart
you shattered my entire being.

Sometimes I wonder,
The times we would've been together.

I picture you and I,
On Sundays by the beach in the cold weather.

I imagine us,
Stargazing at night with me in your arms tighter.


But I waited and waited.
Every inch of every hour,
On steps to your front door,
In portraits I drew of you,
On benches we sat in parks,
At classes we used to have,
Through wretchedly rainy days,
Under my blankets late at night,
In my sleepless nights of dreams,
Right to the places you've sang to me,
Left to the days you were still with me.


But you left.
You were gone.
You were never coming back.
Because I watch you lay there,
With your hands so still,
buried underground.

The feeling of swimming underwater,

missing someone,

standing on top of a mountain.

The feeling of shedding tears over a movie,

excitment over a kiss,

running for no reason.

The feeling of jumping up and down over a song,

smiling to birds,

being lost after a drunken night out,

is what we should live for.