The falcon stole the sea
Soft pebbles broke
Beneath my blistered feet
Dark dreams of water
Black waves drowning
The very core of my being
Salt burning my last breath
The wet fire of fear and desire
Tempting the void
To claim its cheap carny prize

I just want a hug
No questions
No whys
Just hold me for a few seconds
Let me feel your peace
And calm my soul

The routine is always the same.
The bedroom door closed
Music so loud that
My scream cannot be heard  
One thing leads to the other
Before I know, I have tears down my eyes and a razor in my hand
I don't know how many times I promised myself that it would be the last time
Minutes later I hate myself
Why was I so weak?
I regret it with all my strength
But its the only thing that temporarily eases the emotional pain.
I wish I didn't do this,
But there I am again,
Closing the door and let emotions flow just like the blood down my wrists...

With tears down his eyes
He struggles to speak
Saying everything would be alright
As long as I stayed by his side
But is that what I want?
Is that what I need?
Would I feel safe sleeping in his arms
Knowing what he did that night?
Would I be able to forgive him?
Would I be able to forget?
Can I look at him the same way?
Has he really changed
Or is just pretending to be who he is not
Are the tears down his face full of regret?
How can I trust him now
When there's so much to loose
And not a lot to gain
Will time ease the pain
Or only grow everyday?
Look at us now
Breaking all the promises we made that day
Crashing all the dreams we were meant to follow
Throwing everything away
Look at him now
Begging me to stay
Kneeling before him as if I am his queen
Tears rolling down his eyes
His voice cracking he attempts to speak
"I want.. To.. Change.. F..for.. You"
I want to give him a chance
But I know better
It's like he forgot what he did

What is the meaning of life?
What is the answer.
No, not a complicated equation,
no, not the so called "science" of humanity.
I just want a simple, simple answer.
Maybe life is so the air feels important,
or maybe life is for the sky to feel beautiful.
Maybe life is for the grass to feel warm.
Maybe life is for humans to accomplish.
Maybe life is for animals to feel joy.
Maybe life is for music to be heard,
for food to be tasted.
Maybe life is just...
life

i hear you say
"i don't want to hurt you"
as i feel your words, like a knife
pierce through my chest
and go through my heart
and suddenly my passion
is deflated like a balloon
being pricked by a pin
-
"i don't want to hurt you"
but this feels like an elephant
is stepping on my chest
and i hurt.
despite your narrowing efforts
to keep me feeling safe
please stop making me feel like
i should just jump into the lake

o.o.

my eyes are heavy
but i will not fall asleep
just incase you call

o.o.