Things happened so fast,they didn't gave us breaks even a blink. Don't let your hopes and dreams drifted away. The moment when you are about to think to back off you're losing the game that you're playing in your whole life. Haters are laughing. Loved ones are crying. Pull yourself together. You are not drowning, you are just dreaming to keep living. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. The doors are knocking, the phones are ringing. Unlock the doors and answer the calls. Just tumbled don't fall.



a.b

" I like to write mean words on paper because paper doesn't get hurt. The deeper the tip of the pen gets onto the paper,the louder my voice gets."


- Irfan S. Sharafi

When you are not here,
                          you are my biggest fear.*





a.b

I've been living with a strong woman in my entire life. She's so strong yet so fragile. She cares about her kids and ignores the negativities and overcome the obstacles with patience. She always nags at us for delaying our prayers. Ever since my dad passed away,she's my dad,my mum, my bestfriend and my entire life. She takes care of the three of us sisters with care. She works so hard to let me enter to medical school to pursue my dreams because she doesn't want me to be like her. Little does she knows, I really want to be like her. Not academically. I want to have her strength when she endures the pain, the patience when she overcomes obstacles, the caring side of her when she restraints herself to avoid to see us in pain, she's an angel in disguise. But she doesn't want to be known as an angel so I called her Mother.
I love you so much. You are the greatest gift.

When everyone's started to be an eyesore,
When everything made me swore,
Feelin' ****** wherever I go,
Should I just follow the flow?

Nothing much to be said,
I'd rather kept silent;
and let the noise stayed in my head,
No one cares,instead
being ignored is what I get.

My heart is filled with hatred,
My ego is not going to be shattered,
My voices are unheard,
Feels like to rip everyone's shirts!

I tried to calm myself down,
I repeated it for one more round
and I heard a sound
That happiness is not easily to be found.


a.b

The first day,
The first person I saw
was you.
That was the first time I saw
a decent looking boy
who attracts my attention.

Hard to describe,
I really thought it was love of the first sight.
I sit at the corner,
mesmerized by your flaws
I want to talk to you
like the other girls always do
casually, simply and friendly
conversations that cracked the tensed atmosphere.

But I realized my existence nor my appearance
didn't caught your attention.
Wanna start a conversation
but I'm afraid I'll annoy you.
Well, i did talk to you
for homework matters
but you replied reluctantly
and it hurts.

Now, i'm still sitting there
watching you from far
where my gaze won't be noticed,
cause I know you won't be pleased.

a.b

There's this girl
She's like a candle
trying her best to lit her day
trying her best to warm the smiles
But she just had enough
The fire extinguishes
by the tears from her eyes
pools of sadness,sorrows,grievance
that she kept for years
that she always fears.

Repeating every song she hears
along with memories and tears
they penetrate her heart
left scars,forever.

It can't be cured by laughter
It can't be cured by cheers
It can't be cured by dollars
It can't be cured by herself
she needs years to fix it back
Worthless she feels,worth it they said.

It's hard for her to explain
even harder for them to understand
she doesn't wants friends
she isolates from them
but they're too kind to be left
so she continues the game.

She tries to see how long she can stands
how long she can survives
with faking smiles and laughs
This is too much.
She swallows everything
judgmental words suicide thoughts
for the sake to gain something
then she realizes the game was
nothing.

Nobody said it was easy
Nobody said it was fun
feels like the tears
make her awoken from the
reality that will never be pleased.


a.b

I was there
standing at the corner
it was dark,cold and smells
I was there
being laughed,scolded
judged and ignored
cuts and suicidal are in mind
but something stopped them
and left them behind
I saw a light
luminously coming towards me
I put a step behind cause I'm afraid
that it would influenced me
Then there was a hand
I grabbed it
It was warm and cozy
It changed my life
feels like the Spring is coming early
And the hand was HOPE.


a.b

How things started to be unfair
This isn't a complaint,grievance nor grumble
This is the voices of people whose hearts
are crumbled.

How things started to be unfair,
where looks are preferred while hearts are ignored.
Money took over when capability was before.

How things started to be unfair,
where society started to judge
with grudge
without thinking how those hearts feel.

How things started to be unfair,
when the unlawful lawful
the lawful is banned.

How things started to be unfair

a.b

Loving you is like an ice,
It's cold,hard,
and limpid.
I can see the real you,
But soon it melts.

Loving you is like a flower,
It blooms when it's autumn,
Sunlight penetrates the petals,
But soon it wilts.

Loving you is like a tissue,
it erases the tears,
brings the laughter,
But soon it torn,
drowned by the burden of love.

Loving you is like a book,
Those beautiful verses
are you.
But soon it ends with
a full stop.

Loving you is like a music,
rhythm rhymes.
the only thing I want to hear,
But soon the rhymes scatter.

The only thing I know
about loving you is,
Your smile is dangerous,
that I was stupid to fall
into them.


a.b

Maybe love is you
Maybe love is me
Maybe love is us
Until we don't know which one to trust.

Pathetic words came out
Right out from your mouth
Orally distracting
Mentally sickening
Inquisitive I became
Sadly I'm drowned
Enchanted I guess with your
S**tupid words that weren't bless.


a.b

Why are you still here?

Because I remember that night at this hour you begged for me to stay. And this is what I'm doing. I'll stay