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When I see you,
butterflies take over my stomach.
The air I breathe - no longer enough.
My tongue, it ties in impossible knots.
And my heart beats faster than any drum.
To see you, with my own eyes,
is nothing short of electrifying.
It fills my cup, more than anything.
But the main thing I can't stress enough
is the hurt I feel as you let me down.
She may be ******.
And she may check my fingers-
Slam her hard metal pole down on them-
Each time we practice lacrosse.
And she may roll her eyes
At
Me.

But I don't hate her.
I feel sorry for her.
Because I think I'm the only one
Who pays attention
Through the laughter and fun
That
He touches her.

And she makes a joke out of it
So her minions snap out of their dazed state and
Chuckle a little bit.
But his crawling fingers are greedy
And her words are scarce.

All of the brain-dead minions
Laugh when she jokingly screams,
"****!"

Except me.
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
Saying it a million times
won't change the fact that you are
a millions of miles way
from me

I look around in the street
while I drink your favorite coffee
and I think that you would like here
that you would tease me
about my hair
about my clothes
and about my "clicheness"
all while you looked at me
with your bright, round eyes
that made me fall in love with you
in the first place

But you are not here

I miss you
iPad Love

4:49 AM, and by the light of the silvery moon
and our iPad screens turned down low,
we snuggle side by side, our fingers glide so softly upon each,
each of our own devices, this technique,
it could be an app, teaching how to caress a human being.

No need to tell you in sound, out loud,  
how you turn my heart upside down,
I'll just post a note of appreciation on Facebook,
you will see it faster, and besides, you got your earphones on and
could not hear my sweet nothings if I screamed them in high definition.

The newspaper arrives on the electric "doorstep" -
no longer will do we venture outside in
pink bathrobes and curlers, or boxer shorts,
a legal gesture of neighborly disdain.
Americana, losing another icon, as well as  
insuring the unemployment of thousands of newspaper deliverers,
boys and girls, on bicycles, their first job, now obsolescent.

Your feet, so cozy and warm, touching mine,
the sensation, lovely and fine, duly recorded in a poem
that on my iPad I scribble, as my typos disappear, out of sight.
your ear, I nibble, something you hate and I love,
but electronically, it's done with no fuss or muss, and
I don't even have to move!

Sadly, I can find no app that will bring the warmth
of a cup of coffee to my night table, and the gun metal casing of
this invention is chilly, but still Steve, with almost God like vision,
you brought us closer in ways prior unimagined.

So baby,
shut it down,
turn me on,
make me warm for real,
glide your now practiced fingertips on my grizzled cheek,
whisper a phony "ugh,"
cause I know, you will read
this iPad love poem
and cherish us for evermore.

Nothing, something, even as thin as my iPad 2(!)
will come between us and the holiness, the uniqueness of
the human touch.

2011
I touch the Sun, Moon,
Stars and the Heavens
above this morning,
just from your embrace.
It was surreal, you
looked into my eyes
I into yours. I felt like
you touch the very core
of my soul. I felt
something at that very
moment (LOVED)
not just LUV but LOVE.
I know with all my heart
and soul you felt it also.
12/20/12
Can you honestly tell me, right now, that you dont have feelings for me?
Could you look me in the eyes and tell me that you dont get butterflies when you see me?
Because I couldn't.
If you asked me, I would tell you the truth.
I dont love you, I dont know what this is.
Im trying to move on, but you are clinging to that girl.
And I wish you wouldn't, because she's a senior and one day she will leave.
And you will stay here. Heartbroken.
And by that time I will have moved on.
I will have forgotten about you and how you made me feel.
I hope that you realize how much I love you, and how much I need you.
i guess its nice every once in a while
but really its not
because a dream is just a dream, and at some point you have to wake up
you have to leave the ideas and that happy place only to be put back into reality.
and that really *****.
because personally i hate reality.
and i hate every single person i have met there.
except, for you.
so thats why i did the things i did,
because given the chance to live in reality but be dreaming... id take it.
and you may not understand this but i am trying to say something.
sometimes its ok to break the rules and do something bad.
its whats gotten me this far.
so keep daydreaming, but when that gets old get creative.
go places and do things you never thought you would do.
 May 2013 Artemesia Blastside
j
rose petals
and daisies
twisted around
your heart

cherry blossoms
entwined into
your shattering
soul

the most broken
and corrupted
parts of
you

growing into
something that
is so incredibly
                              
                  beautiful
 May 2013 Artemesia Blastside
CR
everyone suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues,
and this is mine:

love is not blindness and his especially
his love was not blindness
he saw everything:
what was there
what wasn’t

nonetheless he rested at reading-glass distance
everything in hyperfocus and bigger, like he wanted
like a futuristic camera: oversaturated, overbright

love is not blindness—

love is literature, or wine, or a lens flare
his filled my gaps with what he wanted there
he saw more than the camera did

I cannot condemn, nor could I ever, his amber propensity
to imagine me. to beg literature is a dodge
of responsibility of which we are all
most equally
guilty

and the devil is in the details
that stitched up such an
achingly different forever
than the one he saw

love is not blindness—
his wasn’t, and mine wasn’t
—but it is literature: permission to fill the page
permission to distrust, like I did then
like I do still

forgive me my own amber propensity
to feel the paradox
there
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