Speaking of sorrow,
Speaking of pain,
My heart aches constantly for you my dear,

I have experienced deceit,
People shatter me repeatedly,
A broken trust and a lonesome soul,

My unendurable scars,
My shallowness-
Sinks me in my own depth,

Speaking of sorrow,
Speaking of pain,
My heart aches constantly for you my dear.

Distorted heart -
Breaks and shatters a millionth,
Agonizing on the torment it had to bear,
Withered and terminating till its last,

Abdication has left me frail,
A void that now resides in the center of my heart, diffuses,
Penetrating torturous scars and bruises,
Aching from within,

Like a broken wing,
Or a leaf defoliating,
My heart slowly turns pitch black,
Ready to face extinction,

A wave of despair,
Constricting the walls of my veins,
A lumpy formation in the middle,
Not blood, just loss!

Seldom have i been raised,
In the wilder I've been tamed,
With the intensity at which I have paced,
Incrementing my status alone,
By myself,
Without shelter and ongoing pain,
Without food have I survived,
No initial support,
My feet paralyzed,
Running through the busy streets in search of food,
Aggravating peoples privacy,
It has not only been torment,
But humiliation for me,
Begging for money,
Studying and making my life more easy,
I'd never dream for you or anyone to see the torture I've seen.

Irony shuts down the heart,
sequestered-
wanting to stay alone for days,
shattered hopes,
broken dreams,
what more is left to say?

Consideration has led me nowhere,
As I trusted him blindly,

Caught deep in his spell,
Refusing to think wisely,

My heart full of love and desire,
Now broken in pieces,

I hope that it recovers,
And the pain finally ceases.

That cold hearted yet ravishing knight,
He was in an armour with pride,
He caught my eyes,
He had the most divine smile,
Which could capture ones soul,
And crumble up all complains,
Shoving it away in the midst of this horizon.

Many times has it occurred to me that love was a mixture of happiness and haven. Where you feel so comfortable with your partner and savor the intensity and grandeur of it.
Many times have I erred, that falling in love with you would change my life completely. My imprudent heart so frail, surrendered fore you.
Now that it struck me hard, a broken heart is what you get from love. Either its caused by someone's demise or a broken promise. It takes you to the path where your demons that were once hidden, lurking in the shadow of your soul, capture you and pull you into abyss. Where only shattered memories and a scarred soul reside.

My hand swiftly moves on the paper,
Inking each page,
With words full of love,
In such haste,
To assimilate the broken strings,
Of this writers block that I had been pulled in.

Standing in the mirror she says I look ugly,
What she doesn't know she is a gem,
She is as beautiful as anything in this world,
Once she see's through his eyes,
She'll know what he means.

My days as a teenager are over,
All the hypocrisy and immaturity has to go,

These few months that I'm spending,
Soon will be gone,
My silly, insane conversations,
My childish pleadings,
All will soon become pointless,

My days as a teenager are over,
All the hypocrisy and immaturity has to go,

I have to grow up,
That's what i get to hear,
I have to explore more and learn more,
This is what my heart says,
What else is there left to say?

But my days as a teenager are over,
All the hypocrisy and immaturity has to go.

I asked him do you love me?
He said yes,
But it all happened back then.
Now I ask him whether he does or not,
All he says is don't wait for me for I am gone !

Integrity and sincerity indeed,
His words fathom to me,
Helping when in need,
Solving un-dealt and recalcitrant situations,
Though obstinate but doltish to me,
Challenging and dueling,
Sarcasm can also be seen,
But beneath all this,
A merciful and loving heart,
Giving and advisory,
Sharing sorrow and rage,
But understanding me,
I feel oh so blessed,
To be indulged with such friendship,
Based on forever,
That's what I foresee.

7 years !
After 7 years im finally free,
My braces are off.

I felt on top of the world,
Until,
I got retainers.

The imposer of all rules,
The most powerful,

Ar-Rahmaan, Ar-Raheem,
He is the most merciful and gracious,

The creator of this universe,
The flawless shaper,

Al-Malik, Al-Quddus,
He who is Great and perfect in every way,

The supreme bestower,
The sustainer, the provider,

Al-Mu’min, Al-Qaabid,
He who is superior to all of mankind and has all rights,

The magnificent one,
The sublime one.

Al-Ghafoor, Al-Waasi',
He will forgive us and we know, only He knows best.

The imposer of all rules,
The most powerful.

Throughout my day all I think about is you, you and you,
Your smile,
Your touch,
Your everything,
You're perfection to me,
Don't care about the rest,
Because looks don't matter to me,
A year,
A century will soon pass,
Leaving us interwined within each others arms,
Destiny matters,
So baby, I guess you're my eternity,
And with you I will cherish and dedicate my life.

The candle light flickers with such intimacy,
Celeste bodies colliding in allure,
Leaving only marks of compassion,
Turbulence and vile noted under the moon light,
As people envy our love in the other room,
The charisma and sparkle in our synchronization,
The heart melting and charming sensations,
My feet limp and my head spins,
With every stroke and touch that you trace along my back,
Goose bumps seem to increment,
****** emerges that weaken the chains in my soul,
Hangover
Strengthening my love and awareness towards you,
Enthralling enchant,
Chamber of secrets revealed,
A new dawn seen,
Replete words,
Embelleshed and kept,
Diffusing angst and reviving love beat,
Singing me deep lullabies as I sleep.

They say there's peace in his end,
There's serenity in heaven,
But what about the people he's left behind,

They say,'Don't worry, he's in a better place.' ,
They say he's doing well up there,
But what about the people he's left behind,

They say he's blessed to have fled away,
He's lucky not to see the atrocities that are seen,
But what about the people he's left behind,

He's up there looking out for us,
He's in our prayers and our tongues all the time,
But what about the people he's left behind.

Glazing bodies,
Entwined and tangled,
Locked and lost in the midst,
Surreptitious romance,
Forgotton the rest,
From poignancy to repair,
From love to extreme,
Just you and me caught up,
Alone,
As we set aside the rest,
And share heaven,
Touching and caressing,
Kissin' sensational and passionate,
Allure and seductiveness,
The heat I feel is not the situation,
But me and your electric touch,
Marking me as your possession,
Your flavor,
A minty enthralling posion against my lips,
Your breath,
On my nape movin' along the grooves,
Making my hair stand *****,
Your captivating eyes,
Drown me in their deepness sinkin' me deeper and deeper,
I see no escape from your enchant,
Helpless now and caught up in your trance,
I feel my balance no more,
My body feels weak as you're my strength and my eternity,
You're my good luck charm,
You're my worst possible distraction,
My nightmare,
My soul,
A part of me which may never flee,
You're my sweet, melodious lullaby,
Puttin' me to sleep as I feel at tranquil when I feel near you,
Distance may be vast,
But nothing can stop me from lovin' you.

I was once in isolation
alone in bifurcation
nobody to love and yet so pleased

but then you came in
taking my breath away
my heart beat elevated with every word you'd say

the very first time we met
I was unsure what was to come forth
the very first time we talked and our shoulders touched, I remember

on February we started singing serenades of our love
oh so absolute, so divine
it was that we amalgamated

our thoughts coincided
we met and shared our first kiss
it was so precious and the moment too

how our fingers entwined
how our bodies grooved
our eyes confabulated the truth

our love so true, so real
my heart feels so weighed and eyes so teary
how you managed to carry me along with you

its been an 8 month tenure
oh how time passes
if only we'd have a clue!

The aroma in the air,
The pungent smell of sulfuric acid,
Dripping down the table,
My hands shake in abhor and fear,

I lean down to check,
There lies your body restless,
In this anxiety and sweat trailing down my back,
I feel pleasure,

This ****** was forceful,
Our once flourished love story,
It has now ended in demise,
Your lifeless body reincarnates my soul,

I slowly trace my fingers on your body,
"We were once so good to be true,
But now you are no more",
I say, as I close your eye lids.

We stand shoulder to shoulder
Hand in hand we explore
An army of two,

Flamboyantly we thrash walls of deceit
And thrive for one another
Because each and every little aspect counts,

Regardless of people talking
We still stand as a team
An army of two.

Possession-ed kisses and passionate marks
under sheets of skin and layers of bites,
a shade of bluish and greenish bruises-
vibrantly sparks delight,

****** swoons bring in an urge
an unwanting sigh escapes
and leaves my trembling lips in thirst-
of a desire not yet suffice,

be it love or romance
the heart suddenly collides
shattered and beguiled by this beauty
replaces an arousing love bite.

I journeyed and traveled to faraway lands
searching for the meaning of life
i incurred much sorrow
and poignant pain
i met new people and lost the old ones
my heart drenched in my own despair
i was lost, and i was alone
all my hope fled
but back in my head i knew my life had a meaning
and then i found you
my heart once again revived
my memories once again started blank slate
now filled with joy and restored with happiness
it is you who completes me!

I fell hopeless and cried,
Not once, a thousand times,
I lost my strength, I died a million times,

I alone had to solve this paradox,
I got baffled but not once, a gazillion times,
I lost my way, I lost myself,

I found integrity in you,
But you broke me apart, piece by piece,
And I lost faith gradually, subsequently,

I was once lively,
Then I lost my soul,
I lost you, I lost us,

You stopped caring,
I perceived nothing but deceit,
But I just couldn't stop loving you.

I seek refuge in you
I embrace the solace windy nights of December
The love and the caresses
The strokes and kisses;
I now feel numb
Drifting amidst my hazy dazes
The sweet melodious lullabies that put me to sleep
Tis your shelter i seek
The aesthetic in you
The comfort that your heart gives me
It aches me to look you in the eyes
Perhaps it's the attraction that leaves me scarred
As your eyes penetrate through my soul and quench me, completely!

Give it a break,
Leave what you're doing and talk !!!!

If only i had no regrets,
All these pessimists would stop acting like pests,

I have done no good in this world,
That i know !

Doesn't mean that i don't care,
About a soul.

I'm guilty for what i did,
Now please stop reminding me of it.

If only i had no regrets,
All these pessimists would stop acting like pests,

‘Nightmares’, you must’ve heard of them. How in our childhood we would dream about things so ghastly, so terrorizing that it’d make it impossible for us to sleep. But this one’s a totally different story. Not a déjà vu, not a hallucination. It’s true and it’s frightening.
It was last to last year that I had experienced, had it been a dream, would it be better, but it was something more realistic and more appalling that you cannot even imagine.
It was death in its worse form.
I was left clueless after I came back to my consciousness. It was something so dreadfully strange, that I had to hold onto something for support once I was brought back into this mortal world. It felt as if I was in another dimension where only death was accepted. It was amazing how they were so firm with what they were doing. I’m sure you’re thinking who it is that I am talking about?
It was seven in the morning and I was running late for school. In an institution as strict as Army Public, you’re not spared for being late for even a second, but also I had an important lecture today, so being late for that would be a crime. I hastily collected my thoughts and got up, running towards the car parked in the drive way. Baba was dropping me to school today.
All way to school I was lectured about my studies and how I needed to be punctual and a bit responsible. It was my last year and after that I’d be in college. So I really needed to work hard, which I wasn’t very fond of as the word ‘lazy’, defined my state at present.
Having entered the gate, I could see my friends with books in their hands. I was the only one without a book. I had come only with a register, two pens, a marker and two to three books. Who needed to load up so much in their bag, right?
We were about to enter our classes, but it was a group of teachers who stopped us all and diverted our route to the auditorium where two men were waiting to deliver a lecture to us. Quizzically, we were led into the hall and seated quietly.
I don’t remember listening to anything they said and then instantly we were interrupted by footsteps and 8 men in Khaaki’s who barged in. One of the superiors said something and then they started firing.
I quickly got down on my feet and with one last glimpse at their horrendous faces and the sound of my friends screaming I hid myself under some kid’s body.
They were so inhumane and their faces were so full of hate and disgust. I was so scared and I wanted to cry at that very moment, but knowing the trouble it would cause, I quietly lay on the floor, not moving as to direct any attention. It was so heart wrenching watching them shoot my friends. I wanted to go ****** their guns and aim for their heads.
Moments passed and the shooting finally stopped. But it wasn’t over yet. They started roaming in the hall to check who was alive and who wasn’t. I feigned my death, reciting a few verses of Qur’an, silently praying and miraculously, my prayers came out victorious. Allah had saved me from these monsters. I didn’t even flinch with their weight on my legs, which was very excruciating.
I heard them leave and I got up as soon as I got the chance, quickly to see who had survived. Ten of my class mates and one of my teachers stood up. I looked at our conditions and the bodies that lay restless around us. I wished for a potion or something that could bring them back to life. I know how ludicrous my thoughts may seem, but this is what I really wanted. I ran for the exit, accompanied. Stepping out into the hallway, all I could see was blood everywhere. The smell of rust and iron pinched my nose and made my eyes wet. I couldn’t bear this situation and see kids, even younger than me covered up in blood. This was ******.
Searching and having spot on a corner, there was a wooden closet where I hurriedly hid as I heard and saw a teacher from the crack of the closet, with whom I left the hall with, rush out. Her face so pale and her forehead creased. She signaled me to move away from the closet before I’d be seen. I did as I was told.
I stood inside breathlessly, for as long as I remember until my thoughts were interrupted by a mob of kids screaming that the army had fled in. I was so relieved. Allah had been listening to my prayers. I had no words, just tears stream down my cheeks in joy.
I carefully followed the noises and met with two soldiers who ordered me and a few more to leave the building. We told them about the injured kids in the auditorium and escaped.
Outside the building, I saw worried parents and crying mothers wailing for their children. I kept my emotions composed as not to cry, but the sight of my mother crying crushed me and I gradually began to cry, as well. She locked me in her embrace. It felt so fulfilling to feel her presence beside me.
What would have happened to her without me? I still think about that day.
16th December has always haunted me ever since its occurrence. I still miss my friends. But this is life. This is how we all are going to leave one by one. Maybe, just death, nothing too serious, I hope, but one can only pray for their fate and their countries safety.
Somehow, after this incident I had gained a bit of courage and I promised myself to make all these terrorists pay. I would take them down soon and eradicate their very existence. That’s what I planned, so it shall happen!

I, drenched in pain and agony-
Journey in lonesome nights beyond vague,
Devastated and traumatized rage-
Awaken the sane and certain side of me,
Abolished and scarred once by thee,
A long time, though lucid and full of vain,
I was once covered of forced shame,
Slightly obscure and clueless about 'we',
I restricted my thoughts to excite,
To flourish or confabulate my brain,
Gloom, an ongoing swirl of senseless might,
Growing an onset of invading gain,
Shaken abhor but literal abyss glow bright,
An inviting yet ambiguous lane.

People know less
about the pain that's under all that smile
the tears that are shed
and the scars and wounds afflicted by the world

a pale skin
and a heart full of anguish
how much it had to bear
how much it took to repair

the sharpness in words
how it slits the edges of the heart
like a rose garden it spreads in the soul
a heart covered with thorns, a heart once soft now cold

how much torment the body took
the touch of hunger slowly dragging me in remorse
the untold story, the words that could have been uttered before
but my frightful soul is what kept silent all these years.

Things have started to bug me
Conversations that were once vague
Now becoming understandable
Painful days are yet to come my way
For once again my depression will take over my emotions
My already poignant heart burdened
Why can't i remain exultant as i was before these hurtful days?
I confabulate with my brain
Trying to assemble the broken pieces
And containing my spilt tears
As these tears will forever shed
It is, but my lack of self esteem
My feeling of being sequestered that i fear
I can't lose more of my faith nor my sanity
Or I'll wither away with those who have already departed
Because frankly, from within I'm no more.

A poets pen is their weapon,
Their friend,
Their companion,
When in life they feel helpless,
Their thoughts accelerate their pen,
As they let the ink paint each page,
Their words are the reason they go on,
When hurt or broken,
When lonely or degraded,
Their pen smoothly brushes across the plain pages,
As they throw their heart out,
Things they can't say,
Things they feel,
All make sense,
As tears roll down their cheeks,
In death or pain,
Till the day they live,
Their words will keep up with them,
Giving them a ray of hope.

What about the millions who are dying?
What about the people who haven't suffice?
What about the terrorism worldwide?
What about anything that is important but not handled wisely?
What about that once promised peace and justice?

****** and bloodshed,
Famine everywhere,
Children without shoes, clothes and shelter everywhere,
Running through the hustle bustle,
To earn to feed and live their lives in peace,

Children of Adam,
What should be done O God to help the poor,
To wipe away the creeping pain and sorrow,
O children of Eve,
Is this how you picture your own kids?

The fancy cars,
Trunks loaded with guns and grenades,
Women mistreated and marked *****,
Is this the way it should be done?
Is this why we have been sent to earth?

To smoke ****,
Drink alcohol,
And spit dirt on girls,
To disrespect and ****,
To solve through bribing,

Is this what we teach our children?
That shop lifting is okay?
Or taking away thousands of lives and you shall not pay,
Is this what we want?
Is it?

O God we join in unison,
And say a short but important prayer,
Please help these people,
Bring them back to the right path,
Show and lead the way because without you we all may pave away.

A ride down memory lane,
Is needles and pain,
The anxiety and the suicidal acts,
It makes you want to attempt,
How I wonder,
I was so imprudent and absurd,
To even do such work,
Irresponsible and immature.
I really need to move on,
And start a new life,
One with tranquility and independence,
A dignified yet personified life,
In defiance of my act,
In leadership of my say,
And thoughts that may not go astary,
For I need to relish,
To ponder and work on myself,
To lead a good and non materialistic life.

I made a pledge last year,
Now I condole you on my behalf,
For I have shunned every word you said.

I was ignorant of you,
But now that you have gone,
I see the odds of the situation.

I feel a pang of guilt,
For banishing your entry,
To set foot in my Temple.

It is I who personally send my regards,
For I have now learned of your worth,
My hunger for money has fled.

I see my self in repentance,
Of not having to see you,
Please forgive me for I have failed you.

Love is just so hard,
I love you, no doubt and will always love you,
You and I are compatible,
But it's just the world,
It's so cruel.
Then there's our fate !
What if we aren't meant to be?

I argue with my misconceptions and urges
that dwell inside me,
Trying to ease the need and my craving for thee,
As my love and affection for you
that now blazes inside of me,
Telling my tyrant soul that has been lurking behind and offshore,
To cease the height of enmity and the negligence
of procuring his love,
His compassionate, pulchritudinous self pulls me towards him,
Making me ignore the promises I have made
and the love and assumed heartbreak that I think I can't bear,
It's the brain actually that tends to cease,
My heart, funny and silly is actually looking for that
untold and secretive love that you and I are soon going to share.

Will he always stay in my heart ?
Probably not.