The significance of memories

is something profound
                                  
                            a­nd intricate.

Through memories do we achieve immortality,
thus through the holders of memories
do we create the essence
of everlasting;

                                Loss


emerges as a facet of coping with sudden change,

Lost
loved ones...
valuables...
   time...
     opportunities.
but we can appreciate the silent endeavor
to generate everlasting existence

4/1/18 5:40 AM
Erase my footsteps
from this broken path
Find that loose ***** and
Give it back
to the ones who ruined it.
Who told me I could do everything
But failed to provide me
the tools to prove it.

I was supposed to be
Night’s brightest star
And those textbooks
Said the same.
Gave me the roadmap
Said “**** the pit stops”
Then put me in the car
With no gasoline.

A hitchhiker,
on her way to greatness
The road ain’t so
Straight and narrow.
Missed turns
Leave me clueless
With mild delusions
And steady making
The forced decisions
of the shameless.

I believed every lie I was told.
Ya know I wasn’t even scared.
So blind I walked
Into The Jungle
Never realized I was
Unprepared
Now I’m lost
And I didn’t even think
To bring a jacket
Because they’d never said
That it would get this cold.

if i woke up this morning and decided to off myself
for the first time in my life
i'd be putting myself first.

simplicity is
to just exist.
simplicity is
to just be.
we all are born
simple
aren't we?
children are the masters
of flexibility
to make anything
their play thing
and just let things
happen naturally
how much fun does
the world seem through
the eyes of a kid who
sees a world free
of complexity?

Poetry starts like rain .
With one drop
It hits your body
You can feel it in your bones and muscles
And you have little time to prepare
But you know a storm is coming...
You can rush to get ahead of it
...You could try and block it altogether
But why not just take your time with it?
You could just see it through to the end.

Are you
the bowl
I pour
into
The contents of my heart
When it starts to
overflow ?
Are you
The switch
I flip to
Change the temp of
my emotions
from Hot to cold?
Are you
the siren
I sound
when
I love out
Loud or
When my
Chest implodes?
Are you the bomb
I dropped
That starts the fall
Or
The crash
Which makes it end?
In this case
I think
I am
the pen & you
the ink
of sadder stories
To be told.

April 24, 12:52 pm.

She looked so pretty in the sunlight..
What happened when it rained?
Something happened to her spirit.
The pep in her step was actually a limp;
Her glitter traded for mud
And she'd wear those ***** boots all day
And an empty smile
To match her empty thoughts.
And where was hope?
Where had her faith gone?
Her attitude reeked of the sewers;
Another washed out heap of waste
On these days she hurts.
She lets her soul slip
Down the drain.
Her heart bleeds the most,
For with her sadness
She also weeps hate..
To know more days like this
Soon come and no sponge..

I offered her an umbrella one day
I could stand a drop or two..
But day after day,
Sit still I could no longer -
An effort I had to make
To shield her pain and heal mine.
She declined on the same beat.
What good is a cover-up?
I'll hide today.
Tomorrow I'll get wet.
The next I'll be soaked.
My world will be flooded..
My life gone afloat and
I'd have no time to respect
All these sad memories
I'd be forced to forget.

I think it's more hurtful because now
I know I was never heard and
the words I said
didn't really mean much.
Seems you had your own idea
in your head
about who I really was and
handled me as such.
Made a mistake, no doubt.
But really we both did.
But it's worse because I'm a woman -
I guess -
That's what I get
for being so naïve again;
More fantasies to undream,
more feelings to forget.

It’s not just you, it’s me too.
I’m just foolish.
Because I saw her and I know
you don’t love
me, anymore
and that you’ve moved on
but I’m still waiting
for your name to flash up on my
phone.
It’s none of my concern
but I can’t help to wonder
Have you ate? Today?
I still wanna
make you a plate;
cause I know it was some *******.
Look at me
still trying to put in work
and I’m not
on your pay roll.
I’m not even an intern..
and that’s her job now anyway..
So ******* foolish.

4/30/2018 3:46 am

Man
I feel like a woman
I've got hair up under my pits
No bra restricting my ****
Peach is fuzzy
but you can still get to the pit
If you ain't *****.
It feels good to be a woman.

Because when the fire comes
there is no
                  resurrection;
only demolition and decay.

If you are in its path
when the fire comes,
trust me.
There is no turning back.

   You must face the heat
that you think you seek.
   How long did you play?
   How long did you dance in the flames
   before you realized they too
would embrace
                You
And make a mockery of all those silly games..

I know
all this crying is beneath me
But i just feel
like you want to leave me
and you’re too afraid
to show it
You don’t want to
be that *******
who leaves their girlfriend
while she’s showing.

I get it.
It’s okay if
you don’t love me
anymore
but
what hurts more
is all the guessing.

sweetheart
if you're street smart..
you'll never have to worry
about these ****** playing you
I've had my fair share of
bug-a-boos
thinking they can impress me
with a band or 2

the price of *****?
same as the price of happiness
just depends on who you're asking..

and if that diamond ring turns brass
and I'm forced to go through the looking glass
what the **** do you expect me to see?

i've been trying to turn a blind eye
to the images of my tv
but when i turn on my phone
they're still reflected back at me

i only wanted to take a selfie
now i'm getting clowned on IG
cause of that fake *** diamond ring
and you wonder why my mentality
isn't quite what they'd call "happy"

how many hearts did you have to break
before you finally made it to mine?