I've finally realized how you see me
I'm the whip cream on the top of your hot chocolate
or maybe on the top of your ice cream
either way
for a few minutes- I am the greatest thing ever
maybe you even anticipate me

In a flash
I am gone
You take all of me away
And I try to cling to whatever I can reach
But, you always win

I've built so much of me up
for you, it's so easy to take me down
Now I've finally discovered what I need to do
It won't be any easy

But I need to leave,
for me

It's the twenty-third of the month
She's finally discovered a rhythm through the days
but soon enough, a new month will show
and she knows
once again
she'll have to adjust

That's the way it always is
the way it's always been

adjust for her mother, adjust for her father
and when she met him-
she suspected he would assume the same

but he told her
her attempts weren't good enough
which he must really have meant-
she wasn't good enough

so he left, barely the start of the month
and she spent the days alone
and that's what she is dealing with now
days of the month
forever taunting her

and if she lets a tear slip at night
well that just further proves-
she's deficient

they told her
but she tried not to listen
in hopes they could be wrong
but they've always been *right

'The smoke might burn my lungs
but the feeling is worth it
isn't it?'
she asks me

'because feeling anything
is better than feeling nothing

and watching the clouds beside you'
she reckons 'is better than
thinking of them alone

because I rather feel agony
see despair
wallow in grief
than just sit alone and be numb

uncertainty already took one person from me'
she tells me
then she grabs my hand tight
and she says
'I want to be uncertain together'

and to that
I can't think of a word
but I know pulling her tight
is enough tonight

She doesn't like the way they watch her
they hear her voice
and she can't control the conclusions they come up with
she doesn't like the way her hands shake
how her eyes can't focus

she doesn't like  attention on her

because when she was too young
she had too many people watching her every move
and there were
too many voices
too many conclusions
too many hands guiding her into unfamiliar hugs
and worst of all, her eyes couldn't find him,
because he was gone

You hesitate now
As if my touch could burn you
But you know it won't

I want a father
simple as that

it makes me feel guilty
wanting another man to take your place
but sometimes I think
having a father in my life is the only way
I'm going to feel okay
that maybe with a strong man
in my life
I'll suddenly be confident
and I won't be afraid
of being the last one awake
and I won't be afraid
when another man talks to me

I want a father
it's simple as that