I found him late;
beautiful voice,
handsome face,
every sound I ever wanted
already sung.

He seemed kind.
Alive.

Then I read the ending.
So young.
So long ago.

And I just sat there,
stupid,
like it still mattered.

I don’t want to die,
I want to cease to exist.
To never have been born
And never have lived
For my soul and body to disappear
For any memory of me to be gone
To dissolve into nothingness and
Never have been anything at all

just tell me what i mean to you

i wish i never put
you
in my journal
because the thought of
you
is so cringey,
that i didn't even want to open it.

I would give my life,
over and over,
if it meant you would still be here.