My mind is a minefield of destitution and despair
My brain is a jungle with poison in the air
Filled with serpents that hiss and spit
Venomous words disguised as wit

My feelings are a tune with every wrong chord
My heart is a patient in a hospital ward
Bandaged and broken, bruised and battered
Every soft part torn, every hard part shattered

My anguish is a balloon growing ever more large
My pain is a fire with a millennia of charge
Consuming my thoughts until nothing remains
Until there's smoke in my lungs and ash in my veins

My smile is an illusion to make me seem strong
My laugh is a scream that just comes out wrong
Nobody questions my joyful guise
They leave me to wallow under my dark skies

You left me
And it's not like I care
Cause I don't
I just wish
You hadn't
I don't want you to come back
But I don't want you to have left
You should have been there
Why weren't you?
Did you love me?
No
If you had
You wouldn't have gone
But you at least stayed two years
Did you love me
For those two years?
If you came back
I'd hate you
But if you'd stayed
I'd love you
You shouldn't have left
Because now
You've lost your chance
To ever be loved by me again
All those years
Not knowing
Why you left
Then the moment
I realised
I wasn't worth it
I'll never forgive
Never forgive
Never
Forgive
The wound is old now
But it still hurts
When I see your name
Where it doesn't deserve to be
On my birth certificate

Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
The clock goes on
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
I'm still alone
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
In this world of mine
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
No light
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
No dark
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Just the sound
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Of the clock
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
And the feel
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Of my sheets
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
The hospital mattress
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
The bandage on my eyes
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
The sickly smell
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Of medicine and pain

There's a poem
In my head
As I lay
In my bed

There's a poem
In my mind
Gleaming there
Ready to find

There's a poem
In my pen
I just put it down
And then

There's a poem
On the page
Like an actor
On a stage

There's a poem
In your eyes
A bright image
Of dark skies

There's a poem
In here somewhere
I just need
To get it out there

The wind is cold
But I don't feel anything
The air is thin
But I don't feel anything
The cars are loud
But I don't feel anything
The sirens sound
But I don't feel anything
They shout at me
But I don't feel anything
I don't hear the words
Because I don't feel anything
Then
I'm
Falling
Suddenly
I feel
For the first time
In a long time
I feel
The air rushing past my face
The sheer exhilaration
The gripping fear
I love it
Then
I hit the ground
But I don't feel anything

They mark my lack of innocence
My sorrow and my strife
They're forgotten and fading now
But once they shaped my life

I don't want to forget my past
Strange as it may seem
Although it was painful
It was more than just a bad dream

It's made me who I am today
It's made me understand
And sometimes I revisit it
With a shaky hand

I know it won't make sense to you
But it's plain to see
Exactly what I've been through
White lines all over me